Why You Feel Like an Overwhelmed Mom + What To Do About It

You’re not alone, and you’re not failing. Here’s why you feel like an overwhelmed mom and what to do so you can enjoy being with your kids!

If you’ve ever found yourself crying in the bathroom while your kids keep arguing in the next room, or felt like you’re drowning in an endless sea of laundry, snack requests, and emotional meltdowns (both theirs and yours), you’re not alone. 

Feeling overwhelmed as a mom doesn’t mean you are failing or that you’re a bad mom; it’s a natural response to the incredible demands of modern motherhood.

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Being a Mom Today

Today’s moms face pressures that previous generations never experienced. 

I read once that a mom in the 80s had no idea what moms in the town over were doing unless she read it in the newspaper, saw it on TV, or in person. 

As moms, we are expected to be everything to everyone: patient teachers during homework time, creative activity coordinators, emotional support systems, household managers, and often career professionals, all while maintaining our own physical and mental health.

Even writing that causes me to feel overwhelmed.

Today is a completely different world. Not only do we know what moms are doing all over the stinking world, but we are also bombarded with messages, and so are our kids. The expectations are simply unrealistic and unachievable. 

Every scroll through Instagram shows us perfectly curated playrooms, elaborate birthday parties, and moms who seem to have it all figured out.

But here’s the truth: that overwhelmed mom feeling you’re experiencing is completely normal, and those picture-perfect moments you see online represent just a tiny fraction of someone’s reality. 

I’m also guilty of only posting the good stuff.

In fact, I just had one of the toughest moments ever with my PDA autistic son. I was crying so hard I was hyperventilating. It felt so incredibly weird, but I recorded myself to document what it’s actually like to parent a child with very hard (and sometimes violent and destructive) behaviors.

Maybe one day, I’ll get the courage to post it to help other moms who share the same struggles because every day isn’t always easy even with all the tools I have in my parenting toolbox. 

More than ever, because of all these messages and highlight reels, we need to come together IN community and support each other in real-life messes. 

Why You Feel Like an Overwhelmed Mom: The Root Causes

This list could be extensive as to what causes a mom to feel overwhelmed. I am focusing on the top five reasons moms feel overwhelmed.

1. The Mental Load is Real

You’re not only managing tasks, you’re also managing the awareness of tasks. 

You remember that your daughter needs new shoes, that it’s almost time for your son’s dental appointment, that you haven’t scheduled the eye appointment when your son is about to run out of contacts, and that you need to call the insurance company and stay on hold for hours again because they coded your son’s last visit wrong. 

This constant mental juggling act is exhausting.

2. Interrupted Days, Interrupted Thoughts

As an overwhelmed mom, you rarely get to complete a task from start to finish. 

I recently saw an Instagram reel with Beverly Mitchell (from 7th Heaven) where she asked, “Do you ever feel like your life is ‘If You Give a Mouse a Cookie?’” 

Why, Yes, Beverly, I do! If you’re not familiar with that book, you can watch her reel here. 

You start folding laundry, get interrupted by a snack request, begin making snacks, then hear the kids fighting, and someone may get hurt if you don’t go into the room, and suddenly it’s dinner time, and nothing feels accomplished.

Read Next: 7 Reasons Kids Fight Constantly

3. The Emotional Labor of Motherhood

You’re constantly reading the room, managing emotions, and trying to meet everyone’s needs. In order to help your kids develop in a healthy way emotionally and psychologically, you also need to ensure you are managing your own emotions. This becomes incredible difficult if you grew up with parents who were constantly exploding, yelling, correcting or just weren’t there.

Not only do you carry the load of your kids’ emotions but of your own, too, and it can just feel like it’s all way too much.

You celebrate their victories, comfort their disappointments, and somehow maintain your own emotional stability throughout it all.

And if you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP) like me, you feel all of this times ten! 

4. Lack of Adult Interaction

If you’re home with kids during the day, you might go hours speaking only in questions like “Did you wash your hands?” and “Where are your shoes?” 

This social isolation can contribute to feeling like an overwhelmed mom.

5. The Comparison Trap

Other moms seem to have their act together. Their kids eat vegetables without complaining, their homes are organized, and they never seem stressed at school pickup. Or you see kids who act “perfect” at the grocery store while your kid is pulling every sugary cereal box off the shelf and screaming at the top of his or her lungs if you say, “No.” 

(Spoiler alert: The other kids aren’t perfect, and the moms have probably felt overwhelmed at some point, too.)

Signs You’re an Overwhelmed Mom

• You feel like you’re always behind, no matter how hard you try
• You snap at your kids over small things, then feel guilty about it
• You fantasize about running away or hiding in your car
• You feel like you’re failing at everything, even though you’re doing your best
• You’re constantly tired, even after a full night’s sleep
• You feel resentful of your partner’s freedom or seemingly easier responsibilities

Breaking Free from the Overwhelmed Mom Cycle

There is hope and there is help to get you out of the overwhelmed mom cycle. I encourage you to NOT DO IT ALONE!

As you’ll see below, I lean on my friends and coaches to help different areas of my life so that I’m not constantly feeling overwhelmed which leads to frustration and poor mental health.

Start Small, Think Systems

Instead of trying to overhaul your entire life, pick one small area to systemize. Maybe it’s meal planning for just three days ahead, or creating a simple morning routine that gets everyone out the door with less chaos.

My friend, Jess from Habit Stacking Mom, helps you identify where the overwhelm stems from and then enables you to anchor habits so that your brain doesn’t have to use as many resources! 

If you need some support ASAP, I highly recommend downloading her free Reset Planner. It’s loaded with worksheets to help you figure out the areas where you’re feeling the most overwhelmed as a mom and what to do about it. 

>> Download the Habit Stacking Mom Reset Planner here!

Give Yourself Permission to Be Human

You don’t have to be the Pinterest mom. You don’t have to be an Instagram Influencer mom. Heck, you don’t even need to be any other kind of mom, but you! 

Your kids need a present and loving mother, more than they need elaborate themed birthday parties or homemade organic snacks made from ingredients from your perfectly grown garden. Although that does sound dreamy and amazing if you can do that, but it’s not necessary.

Connect with Other Moms

Find your tribe! I cannot stress this enough! 

Whether it’s a local mom group, online community, or just one friend who gets it. Sharing your struggles with other moms reminds you that being overwhelmed is part of the journey, not a personal shortcoming.

I honestly don’t think I would make it through some days without my friends checking in and holding me accountable. God created us to be in relationship with each other. One of my favorite books that delves into this topic into detail is Find Your People by Jennie Allen. 

If you are struggling to find friends, where I have found most of mine is from The MomCo (formerly known as MOPS). See if you have any local mom or play groups in your area. It’s at least somewhere to start! 

Practice the “Good Enough” Principle

Your house doesn’t need to be spotless. 

Dinner doesn’t need to be gourmet. 

Your kids don’t need to be entertained every moment. 

Good enough is actually good enough.

Schedule Time for Yourself

Even 15 minutes of alone time can help reset your emotional state.

Take a bath, read a few pages of a book, walk outside, or just sit in silence. You’re not being selfish, you’re modeling self-care for your children.

Read Next: How to Take Care of MYSELF with Self Care So I Can Give More To Your Family

One of the most powerful shifts you can make as an overwhelmed mom is changing how you talk to yourself. Start replacing harsh self-talk with the kind, understanding language you’d use with your best friend. When you catch yourself spiraling into criticism, pause and ask: “What would I tell my best friend in this situation?” The answer is usually much gentler and more supportive than what you’re telling yourself.

I share this one resource to the moms who work with me in my Parent P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Transformation Program: I have them listen to these self-compassion meditations with Kristen Neff. 

Remember that “good enough” parenting is actually excellent parenting. Your children don’t need perfection because I have a secret that doesn’t exist! 

Kids need presence, love, and a mom who’s doing her best with the resources she has. 

Give yourself permission to have bad days without drowning in guilt.

Before criticizing yourself, practice the “would I say this to my daughter?” test. If you wouldn’t speak to her that way, don’t speak to yourself that way either. Acknowledge that learning and growing as a mom is a lifelong process, not a destination you’re supposed to reach by some arbitrary deadline.

Simplify Your Life

The path out of overwhelm often requires subtraction, not addition. I have learned this the hard way. Here are some quick tips I’ve been using, but you can find even more by listening to my friend, Emily’s podcast, “Moms Overcoming Overwhelm.”

Reduce the number of activities you do

You can start by auditing your calendar with one key question: What activities truly add value to your family’s life?

Practice saying “Let me check my calendar and get back to you,” instead of automatically saying yes to every request. This simple phrase gives you time to evaluate whether a commitment aligns with your family’s priorities.

This is something I STRUGGLE with, but with age, I’m slowly getting better. 

Declutter

Begin decluttering your home one small area at a time. I have been seeing a timer for 15 minutes a day, and tackling one area at a time. It’s making a huge difference in reducing visual overwhelm. 

I always think that I’ll declutter once and then never need to do it again, but shifting to something I do as a daily or weekly habit helps it prevent it from piling up, causing extra overwhelm. 

Meal Plan

You can simplify meal planning by embracing repeat meals, slow cooker or Instant Pot recipes, and grocery pickup or delivery services. 

I use a Google Sheet with 7 different meal plans. Each tab has a list of 6-7 meals with every single item I need organized by where it is found in the grocery store. I create lists that match my meal plan in each grocery store app I use.

This system makes ordering groceries every Sunday super simple and super fast. I’m down to about 15 minutes of ordering, then 20 minutes of driving and picking up. 

Rotate Toys

Reduce toy overwhelm by rotating toys or implementing a “one in, one out” policy. It seems like we have to do this a lot with Nerf guns! 

Create a Morning Routine

Streamline your morning routine by prepping clothes and lunches the night before, and better yet, have your kids do it if they’re old enough! If you don’t know where to start teaching kids life skills, you can check out my post, “4 Easy Steps for Teaching Life Skills”. 

Most importantly, consider which traditions and activities actually bring your family joy versus those you’re doing out of obligation or comparison to other families.

5 Simple Living Experiments

Simplify your life in five areas: clothing, meals, kids’ toys, distractions, and mental clutter with step-by-step guidance and relevant resources.

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If you’re looking for more accountability, you can join her free Facebook Group: Decluttering Tips and Support for Overwhelmed Moms.

Prioritize Sleep

Sleep isn’t a luxury for moms; it’s a necessity for functioning and emotional regulation. In fact, there is extensive research that supports how important the circadian rhythm is for reducing stress and overwhelm. Disruptions to our body’s natural 24-hour cycle, such as those caused by shift work or irregular sleep patterns, can lead to increased stress, mood disorders, and other health problems.

Also, it’s important to note that if you’re living in chronic stress and feeling overwhelmed as a mom, that could be negatively impacting your circadian system, which creates a feedback loop that exacerbates both stress and disrupted sleep. 

Learning about all of this makes it imperative to escape overwhelm. Below, I discuss further how to do it if following these simple tips isn’t enough. 

What you can do: Create a realistic bedtime routine for yourself, not just your kids. 

This might mean accepting that some evening tasks can wait until tomorrow. Practice the “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice guilt-free, even if dishes are sitting in the sink. Remember that rest is productive, not lazy.

Ask family members to help with night duties when possible, and keep your bedroom cool, dark, and phone-free for better sleep quality. 

I moved my phone into the kitchen a few months ago and wish I had done it sooner! It’s CRAZY how much better sleep I get. Also, it’s extremely draining on your brain to look at your phone as soon as you wake up; it has something to do with the brain waves, and it wakes your brain up way too fast, which can cause, you guessed it, overwhelm! 

Try the “brain dump” technique before bed: write down tomorrow’s worries and to-dos to clear your mind. You can also journal or do a meditation. 

Consider naps (for you!) as a productive reset time; even 20 minutes can help restore your energy and patience. If you’re nursing, alternate night feeds with your partner when possible, or at least alternate who gets up for diaper changes or comfort needs.

Remember: You’re Not Just Surviving, You’re Shaping Brains

When you’re feeling like an overwhelmed mom, it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong. But step back and see the bigger picture. 

You’re raising humans who will carry your love, values, and lessons into the world. That’s incredible work, even when it feels chaotic.

In Parenting from the Inside Out, Dr. Daniel Siegel explains how parents literally shape their children’s brains. Although learning may cause you to feel more overwhelmed, I only share that to show you what a gift you’re able to give to your kids! God chose YOU to be your children’s mama! 

Your children won’t remember if they went to the dentist every six months exactly, if their clothes match, or if you felt like a crazy person from carrying way too much. They’ll remember feeling loved, supported, and secure. And that’s something you’re already providing, even on most overwhelmed days.

The Truth About Overwhelmed Moms

Here’s what no one tells you: feeling like an overwhelmed mom doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re doing something incredibly important under challenging circumstances. 

You’re juggling more responsibilities than any generation before you, often with less community support.

You’re not failing, you’re human. And your kids are lucky to have a mom who cares enough to worry about doing it right.

When to Get Help for Being Overwhelmed

Reading a blog post like this or even entire books about being an overwhelmed mom might help a little, but head knowledge alone may not be enough. 

Signs It’s Time for Professional Support

• Physical symptoms persist: Chronic exhaustion, frequent illness, persistent headaches
• Emotional overwhelm becomes constant: Anxiety, depression, or rage that doesn’t improve with rest
• Relationships are suffering: Constant conflict with your partner or feeling disconnected from your children
• You’re not functioning well: Struggling with basic daily tasks or feeling like you’re just surviving
• You feel done: You feel utterly exhausted and don’t know how you’re going to make it another day. 

Types of Help Available for the Overwhelmed Mom

I’ve already said this but it’s so important so I’m going to say it again: You don’t have to live in overwhelm. There is both hope and help! Here is a list of different ways you can find support if the list above isn’t enough.

Therapy:

For deeper emotional work, postpartum depression/anxiety, or trauma processing

Therapy provides a safe space to explore the deeper emotional roots of your overwhelm. If you’re experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression or anxiety, like persistent sadness, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, or feeling disconnected from your baby or kids, a licensed therapist who specializes in maternal mental health can be life-changing. 

Therapy is also valuable if past trauma is affecting your parenting or if you find yourself repeating patterns from your own childhood that you want to break. Many overwhelmed moms discover that their struggles stem from unresolved grief, relationship issues, or deeply ingrained beliefs about motherhood that need professional processing to heal.

I am a huge supporter of “bottom-up” therapies such as EMDR, IFS, CBT, and somatic work. 

Support Groups:

Connection with other moms experiencing similar challenges

Sometimes the most powerful medicine is realizing you’re not alone. 

Support groups, whether in-person or virtual, connect you with other moms who truly understand what you’re going through. There’s something incredibly validating about hearing another mom say, “Yes, I’ve felt that way too.” 

Support groups can be general new mom groups, specific to your situation (like groups for moms of multiples or special needs children), or focused on particular challenges like postpartum anxiety. Many moms find that the friendships formed in these groups become lifelines long after the formal group ends.

Postpartum Specialists:

For specific postpartum mental health concerns

Postpartum specialists are mental health professionals who focus specifically on the unique challenges of pregnancy and the postpartum period. They understand the complex interplay of hormones, sleep deprivation, identity shifts, and relationship changes that can contribute to maternal mental health struggles. 

These specialists can provide targeted treatment for conditions like postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, or psychosis. They’re also skilled in helping moms navigate the transition to motherhood, birth trauma recovery, and breastfeeding challenges that impact mental health.

Parent Coaching:

For practical parenting strategies, family systems, and overwhelm management

Parent coaching offers a unique approach that bridges the gap between therapy and practical support. 

Unlike therapy, which often focuses on processing past experiences, parent coaching is forward-focused and centers on developing actionable strategies for your current challenges. 

Parent coaches provide accountability and personalized support tailored to your unique family situation, helping you identify what’s not working and create realistic solutions that fit your life.

Parent coaching is particularly effective if you’re an overwhelmed mom because it helps you develop systems that reduce daily chaos and stress. 

Rather than just talking about your overwhelm, you’ll learn specific techniques for managing your time, setting boundaries, improving family communication, and creating routines that actually stick. 

Your coach collaborates with you to create realistic goals and sustainable changes, taking into account your family’s specific needs, your parenting style, and your current capacity. The focus is on empowering you with tools and strategies that you can implement immediately to start feeling more confident and in control of your family life.

How Parent Coaching Can Transform Your Journey

If you’re ready to move from surviving to thriving as a mom, parent coaching offers a unique approach that combines practical strategies with emotional support. 

My P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation parent coaching program is designed specifically for overwhelmed moms who want to create more intentional, peaceful family lives. To see if it’s a good fit, you can schedule a Parent Support Discovery Call here!

Here’s what one of the moms I worked with recently shared,

“This program is the best investment I have made for my children and my family. The program is thoughtfully laid out each week. I chose to work with Adriane because of how open and kind she is. She was also reliable in replying to my messages. I could tell that she is very passionate about parenting and has a big heart for helping other parents with their challenges. Adriane was very generous with her reply whenever I had questions to ask for advice. I also appreciated that she encouraged me every time I shared my struggles and was completely overwhelmed, and she never made me feel silly for asking questions or expressing parenting concerns…”

What makes parent coaching different?

• Personalized approach: Strategies tailored to your specific family dynamics and challenges
• Forward-focused: Less about analyzing the past, more about creating positive change now
• Practical tools: Evidence-based techniques that work for real families
• Ongoing support: Regular check-ins and adjustments as your family grows and changes

What’s included in my coaching program:

• One-on-one sessions focused on your family’s unique needs
• Customized action plans and overwhelm recovery strategies
• Email and Voxer voice text support between sessions for real-time guidance
• Access to exclusive resources and tools for overwhelmed moms

Additional Resources for Overwhelmed Moms

• Crisis support: Postpartum Support International Helpline (1-944-4-PPD-MOMS) or the Crisis Hotline (988)
• Online communities: Local mom groups on Facebook, Peanut app for mom connections, The MomCo
• Local support: Check with your pediatrician, local hospitals, or community centers for mom groups

Take the First Step

I invite you to take a deep breath and remember this: feeling out of control, overwhelmed, anxious, or not like yourself doesn’t make you a bad mom. 

Instead, you can allow yourself to feel those feelings and find ways to feel better. And remind yourself that it makes you a mom who cares deeply about doing right by your family, even when it feels impossible to keep all the balls in the air.

The overwhelm you’re experiencing isn’t a character flaw or a sign that you’re not cut out for motherhood. It’s often a sign that you’re trying to do too much with too little support, holding yourself to impossible standards, or simply navigating one of the most challenging transitions life can offer.

Seeking help, whether it’s therapy, joining a support group, asking your partner for more involvement, or working with a parent coach, isn’t admitting defeat. It’s recognizing that you deserve support, and your family deserves the best version of you. The strongest moms are the ones who know when to reach out.

Your one small step for today 

Choose just one strategy from this post and try it this week.

Maybe it’s setting one boundary, asking for one specific type of help, or simply acknowledging that you’re doing better than you think you are.

Remember, you don’t have to figure this all out alone. Whether you’re ready to explore coaching, need to talk to a therapist, or just want to connect with other moms who get it, taking that first step toward support is always brave.

I’d love to hear from you!

What resonates most with your experience as an overwhelmed mom? What’s your biggest challenge right now? Share in the comments below. Your story might be exactly what another mom needs to hear today.

And if you’re ready to stop feeling like you’re drowning in the beautiful chaos of motherhood, I’m here to help. My parent coaching program is designed for moms just like you who are ready to create more peace and intention in their family life.

Click here to schedule a Discovery Call to learn how we can work together to transform your overwhelm into confidence.

Free Calm Mom Toolkit

To get you started with some calming tools to overcome overwhelm, download this free toolkit that you can print and use right away! 

Sign up and you will get exercises and tools that will help you self-regulate so you can co-regulate with your kids, leading to a more peaceful parenting experience.