How to Turn Childhood Experiences into Life-Changing Memories

_{Inside: Once I learned that memories shape who our kids become, I had to learn more about how to turn Childhood experiences into life-changing memories that really stick. This post is full of information on how childhood memories form and includes a printable packet of memory posters to fill out every month.}

What we remember shapes who we are and who we become.

Think about that. Taking your kids to see their favorite baseball team play, camping at the beach, hiking in the mountains, making crafts together, or simply chasing your children down the hallway as they squeal impacts how their brains get wired. The moments we have together along with the feelings that come with those interactions is what shapes who are children will become.

This is why spending quality time with and providing memorable experiences for your children matters.

Our goal as parents is not to raise kids who stay kids all of their lives. Instead, we are focusing on raising resilient adults who flourish, thrive, and essentially become decent humans.

We do this by creating positive childhood memories and helping them through the tough ones. We don’t wrap our kids in bubble wrap to keep them from negativity; instead, we are present and communicate to them that we are on the same team. Reflecting on and recalling these experiences has a great impact on their development.

This is how we become the “gardeners” in our kids’ lives, giving them what they need to grow into the beautiful wildflowers God created them to be. The things we do together, in essence, are water, good soil, and sunlight.

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According to research studies published in the American Psychological Association, people who have happy childhood memories, especially those linked with their parents tend to be healthier!

Positive memories are linked to less depression, mental health issues, and less stress. Furthermore, young adults who have positive memories from growing up usually also have better quality work and personal relationships.

Bonus!! A great way to create a strong connection with your kids is by having family meetings.  Receive a free Family Meeting Agenda when you sign up for my newsletter!

How Memory Works

Understanding how memory functions and why it matters is crucial, especially in the life of a child. Memory serves as the foundation for how we interpret and navigate the world, shaping our understanding and experiences.

As neuroscience tells us, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” This means that repeated actions and experiences strengthen neural connections in the brain. By recognizing this, we can better appreciate how to create meaningful childhood memories that have a lasting impact.

The Role of Memory in Development

Memories, particularly those tied to significant events or emotions, play a key role in development. When experiences hold personal meaning for a child, they are more likely to be stored in long-term memory and contribute to their growth and understanding.

The Brain’s Memory Systems

The brain organizes and stores information using three key memory processes:

• encoding
• storage
• recall

Encoding

Encoding is the process of taking in information. Think of it as the brain’s way of processing the world around us. For example, toddlers often sit and observe their surroundings with fascination, soaking in details as they try to make sense of the chaos. This step is crucial for setting up memories that can later be stored.

Long-Term Memory

Once information is encoded, it can be stored in long-term memory. There are two primary types of long-term memory:

• Episodic Memory: This type stores significant life events along with the emotions tied to them. Episodic memories form effortlessly, but we can strengthen them by revisiting or reflecting on those moments. For example, the joy of a birthday celebration or a family trip is often stored as an episodic memory.
• Semantic Memory: This is where factual information is stored, requiring more effort to memorize and retain. Children often rely on semantic memory to learn new concepts and share what they are learning. For instance, my son loves reciting facts about human anatomy, weather patterns, or complex processes like cytosis—things he’s committed to memory by intentionally learning.

Recall

Recall is the ability to retrieve information stored in the brain. It involves organizing memories, identifying associated details like smells or textures, and making connections.

For instance, the smell of a Lovespell hand sanitizer can instantly transport me to memories of my firstborn’s nursery. This is because sensory cues often play a role in recall.

Another aspect of recall is working memory, which temporarily holds information as we process and encode it. If you’ve ever forgotten why you walked into a room, only to remember when you see an object that triggers the memory, that’s your working memory at work. Working memory is also what is used to memorize spelling words or math facts, both of which my son with ADHD struggles with learning. Kids with ADHD often are delayed in executive function skills and you guessed it, working memory is one of those functions.

By understanding these systems, we can create environments and experiences that support children in building memories that last a lifetime.

Organizing, Storing, and Reflecting On Childhood Memories

Naturally, kids are going to have experiences that turn into memories that impact who they are and become. Research shows that with rest and reflection, these moments can have a bigger bang for their buck, so to speak.

I picture it like this…

When I was very young, my aunt worked at Mellon Bank in the Pittsburgh Area. It was the most beautiful building with vaulted ceilings, marble floors, and fancy desks. I loved going to visit her!

At the very back was a huge vault that you could see into. This room was for employees only. There was a huge wheel that needed to be turned to the correct combination in order to get in. Inside that vault were piles and piles of money all sorted so that the employees could access it when a customer needed money. Or at least this is what I remember.

Kids (and adults alike) all have a vault in their brains. This vault is called the hippocampus. Instead of having money inside, there are experiences. These experiences are sorted by positive and negative associations.

When our kids are faced with a decision or choice or have a new experience, they go into that vault and access one of those childhood memories to help guide them. It can be instinctual or intentional.

If you had to go into a vault such as this to help you with life, which would you rather have to pull from? Positive or negative experiences?

Turning Childhood Experiences into Life-Changing Memories

Being intentional with the time we spend with our kids is what makes parenting truly fulfilling. As Tina Payne Bryson and Dr. Daniel Siegel explain in The Power of Showing Up, “a securely attached child is not only happier and more content but also much easier to be with and to parent.”

So, how do we foster that sense of security and connection?

Make Time Together “Stick”

One way is to ensure the time and activities we share with our kids leave a lasting impression. This means creating moments that are memorable and meaningful, embedding them into their long-term memory.

The R.I.P. Memory Strategy

A helpful memory tool I discovered on Reading Rockets is the R.I.P. strategy, which stands for Repetition, Imagery, and Patterns.

(And yes, your brain probably associated R.I.P. with “Rest in Peace”—a clever mnemonic to help you remember the strategy. I fully embrace my nerdiness for loving that detail!)

The R.I.P. toolbox includes actionable strategies to help kids encode and store memories effectively:

• Relax and Concentrate: Stay calm and focused.
• Slow Down: Process experiences at a manageable pace.
• Organize: Categorize and structure information.
• Write Down or Repeat: Reinforce ideas by writing or verbal repetition.
• Visualize: Picture concepts or experiences in your mind.
• Translate: Simplify complex ideas into understandable terms.
• Use Pictures: Incorporate visual aids to anchor memory.
• Practice: Revisit and rehearse to strengthen neural connections.

Applying these strategies helps kids store meaningful experiences and information in long-term memory, making them easier to recall and build upon in the future.

Connecting Everyday Moments

Everyday life is filled with opportunities to create lasting memories—we just need to approach these moments with intention. It’s not about grand gestures or expensive outings; it’s about the small, consistent ways we engage with our kids and make them feel seen, valued, and loved.

Start With Presence

Being fully present is one of the simplest yet most impactful ways to create a connection. Whether it’s during a walk to the park, a quick car ride, or even while doing chores, being attentive and engaged shows our kids that they matter. Ask open-ended questions about their day, laugh together, or simply make eye contact and listen without distractions. These moments may seem ordinary, but they create a foundation of trust and connection.

My favorite thing to do is lie with my kids at bedtime. I used to see it as annoying and one more thing I had to do before “me time”. Now that I have a teenager, I cherish every second my younger kids want to spend time with me, especially at night. My youngest son and I will look through old photos or read books that make us belly laugh together. Such a wonderful way to spend the last 20 minutes of the day.

Celebrate the Small Wins

Everyday moments can be powerful when we acknowledge and celebrate them. Did your child figure out how to tie their shoes for the first time? Did they show kindness to a sibling?

Celebrate these achievements, no matter how small, and highlight the emotions and effort involved. When kids see that their small victories matter, those moments are more likely to stick in their memory.

Incorporate Rituals

Rituals add rhythm and predictability to our lives while creating opportunities for meaningful interaction. It could be as simple as a bedtime routine where you share three things you’re grateful for, a weekly pizza night, or a silly handshake before school drop-off. These consistent, intentional moments become a treasure trove of positive memories.

Use the Power of Senses

Memories tied to sensory experiences are often the strongest. Incorporate smells, tastes, sounds, and textures into your interactions.

For example, baking cookies together might become memorable not just because of the activity but also due to the smell of cookies in the oven and the feel of dough between their fingers. Similarly, listening to a favorite song or taking a nature walk and noticing the crunch of leaves can anchor these moments in long-term memory.

Read Next: The Ultimate Guide: Understanding Sensory Processing Systems In Kids

Turn Challenges Into Stories

Not every day will be perfect, but even challenges can become opportunities to connect. When something goes wrong—a missed bus, a burnt finger, or sickness that prevents your family from going to a planned activity —frame it as an adventure. Laugh together about the mishaps, find the silver lining, and reflect on how you worked through it as a team.

These “imperfect” moments often become the most cherished stories over time.

Recently, our entire family was hit hard with sickness. We had to cancel so many holiday activities and events that we attend every year. Instead of getting upset about it, when we were able to get out of bed, we played Scattegories for the first time as a family and made special treats. We still created special memories even though they didn’t include a Christmas parade or hot air balloons.

Revisit and Reflect

Help your kids hold onto everyday moments by revisiting them regularly. Ask them about their favorite part of the day at bedtime or share photos and mementos from the week. Reflection helps solidify memories while encouraging gratitude and perspective.

By finding ways to connect during the mundane and weaving intention into our interactions, we can turn the ordinary into something special. These shared experiences don’t just fill our children’s memory banks; they also strengthen the bonds that form the heart of our relationships.

How to Preserve Your Monthly Memories

To help families capture and reflect on their shared experiences, I created a Year of Monthly Memories printable. This simple tool encourages families to document and celebrate the moments that matter most.

Here’s how it works:

1. Print a Cover Page | Write the year on it.
2. Print Monthly Sheets | Use one sheet for each month.
3. Keep in a Common Area | Place the sheets where everyone can access them.
4. Document Your Memories | Encourage family members to write, draw, or add printed pictures of the month’s highlights.
5. Store Completed Sheets | Collect and save them to create a treasured memory keepsake.

Free Download!

To help kids remember their experiences so they can grow from them, I created a year of monthly memories printable for families. *Click here to download!

This is how it works:

• Print out a cover and write the year
• Print out the sheet for the month
• Keep in a common area
• Encourage everyone in the family to write down, print pictures, and draw about the memories made during the month
• Store the finished sheet

Instructions

1. Print Out the Cover

Print the cover for your year of memories. It’s okay if you’re starting in the middle of the year. Writing down what year it is will help you keep all the memories organized.

There is a big white space on the front for the date. At the end of the packet are a few other cover options. I like options.

2. Print the Monthly Memory Sheet at the Beginning of Each Month

I am writing this at the beginning of the year, so I just printed out, January.

Ideally, using card stock or thicker paper will make these last longer and be able to support any glue or creations added.

3. Keep the Monthly Memory Sheet in an Easy-to-Access Location in Your Home

For us, the kitchen is the most commonplace in our house. It’s where we have family dinner together every night, where homework takes place, where we prepare food and hang out the most.

In the corner of our kitchen is a small command board. It’s nothing fancy but rather a simple dry-erase board calendar where we put our family meeting agenda items, needed grocery items, chore assignments, routine charts, our lunch items list, and packing lists.

Related: Routines for Kids: Why They Work & How to Create Your Own

Also, next to our fridge is an area where we have a small basket of pens and pencils along with mail. These two spots would be the place to put our reflection sheet so it is visible to everyone.

4. Write Down (or Draw) Experiences You Have Throughout the Month

This is a task for EVERYONE in the family. Now, my three-year-old is not going to be able to write down his childhood memories, but I can ask him what he would like me to write for him.

You can do this however you’d like! Come up with how your monthly memory sheet is going to look like as a family.

Here are ideas on how to record your memories:

• Use bullet points
• Assign a different color marker to each person to write with
• Encourage drawings as well as words
• Print out photos
• Staple ticket stubs or items from places you visited

Drawing pictures is great because it allows a person to synthesize the information, make choices about the information, and store it in memory in a way that’s easier to recall.

Everyone can either add to the sheet whenever they want or make it an agenda item during your weekly or monthly family meetings. I like the idea of doing both!

Your kids can write down any of their childhood memories they would like. You may be surprised at what they choose as it may be different than what you think is most important.

For example, if you went on a vacation to visit caves but also camped or swam at a hotel pool, they may think swimming in the pool was more fun and memorable than the actual caves.

Anything goes! Also, have your family members (you included!) write down when goals are accomplished such as climbing to the top of an indoor rock-climbing wall for the very first time.

5. Save the Monthly Memory Sheet Once the Month is Finished

After that month is finished, put your sheet into a binder or you could even attach them all to a big binder ring.

Included in the Monthly Memory Printable is a cover sheet. This can be used to put the year or season or however you would like to organize this reflection activity.

Download The Year of Memories Reflection Printable

Share The Love

If you found this post about childhood memories and how to create stronger connections with your kiddos helpful, please share or pin it for later. I would also love to know if you use your monthly memory sheets.

Post pictures and tag me on Instagram or Facebook. That would fill my heart with so much joy! As always, I love hearing from you in my inbox – adriane@raisingkidswithpurpose.com.

Originally written on: January 12, 2020
Updated on: December 30, 2024