Why You Should Stop Buying Tech Toys For Your Kids According to Experts

I have breaking news!! Kids do not need high tech toys and gadgets for development, self-regulation, and executive functioning or to make them learn faster or better!

What babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and school-aged kids really need is human interaction. They also need ways to expand their minds.

Tech toys impact kids’ developing brains in ways that may not be beneficial.

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Hours.

This is how long our firstborn would sit building train tracks and pushing his trains down our long hallway. Wood, plastic, metal. Name brand or generic. All he cared about was if the pieces connected and how long of a track he could build.

Give him building blocks and he would create the largest structures with stories of how they were skyscrapers, spaceships or robots.

Then at around age three, he discovered paper, which provided him with a whole new world of creativity as he folded, cut and taped. When he was four-years-old, he would make semi-trucks complete with moving steering wheels, trailers and quads or motorcycles, all out of paper! If a material was foldable, it would become a paper airplane or origami animal. I’ll never forget going to the bathroom and finding the toilet paper folded as a jet while still on the holder.

I recently came across a video of him when he was three years old inside a large box pretending to be a robot. Oh, how I miss that age and his budding imagination. He was spinning in circles because he “ran out of batteries.”

Today, although he is ten, you can still find him covered in paper and cardboard making the latest and greatest invention to use or wear.

Our middle son didn’t build as much, but he would spend hours talking to his stuffed animals. Every animal had a first, middle, and last name, interests, and an array of emotions. And if he wasn’t playing with those, his time was spent building puzzles or blocks. To this day, he still spends a lot of his time building anything he can get his hands on.

Also, since they didn’t have the option to play video games and we had access to some great libraries, they loved to read.

All of our boys have been able to allow their creativity to flourish with very simple materials, toys, and books. Without even realizing it, they have been working hard on developing very important life skills.

Yes, we do own toys like Dash the Robot, the Harry Potter Coding Wand, and Fire Tablets.

Nevertheless, what we have found is exactly what researchers and pediatricians are telling parents about how tech toys impact kids.

Tech Toys Are Not Needed For Kids’ Development

Kids do not need the latest and greatest high-tech toys or gadgets to keep them busy, help their brains develop or make them smarter.

In fact, the opposite may be true!

Flashing lights, bright colors, and the latest and greatest “educational” toys seem like they’re a really good idea especially for very young children like babies and toddlers, but child development experts disagree.

In December 2018, the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics published an article titled, “Selecting Appropriate Toys for Young Children in the Digital Era.”

The article uses research to explain that our human brains are not built for all the over-stimulation that tech toys and gadgets provide for kids. Period.

The toy companies make bold claims about their toys’ educational values but that is not science or research-based. I’m not saying they can’t aid in educating a child at all, but the more important skills that need to be taught aren’t letters, numbers, shapes, and colors.

Life Skills

Academics are great! However, research keeps coming out explaining that the most successful adults may not have learned to read at age three, but they did have early self-regulation and social and emotional intelligence skills.

I also want to mention that I’m well aware and am thankful for the world changers who aren’t wired in a way to be as social; but for those that are, they will be their best selves if they can not only develop but strengthen these skills.

Related: Five Steps To Raise a Child With Emotional Intelligence

These Are The Skills Important for Development:

• Self-control
• Perspective-taking
• Critical thinking and problem-solving
• Social-emotional intelligence
• Resilience
• Independence and responsibility
• Executive function and organization

I don’t see the alphabet and numbers on that list 😉.

A great way to teach a lot of these skills is through gratitude. I created a toolkit filled with a gratitude poster, emotions worksheet, understanding strength worksheet, daily reflection cards and random acts of kindness ideas. You can download here by subscribing to my newsletter!

The Power of Play

Instead of tech toys, kids need to PLAY!!

The skills learned through play are endless. Play is essentially the foundation of development as it teaches everything from learning how to share and tolerate others to gross and fine motor physical skills.

Play can mean different things, but when you boil it down, it’s an emotive word that indicates kids freely choosing, personally directing, and intrinsically motivating themselves to be creative and use their imaginations. It includes experimentation, exploration, continued experience, and imitation of their environment. Check that alliteration out!

” Play is essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth. Play also offers an ideal opportunity for parents to engage fully with their children.”

~ Official Journal of the American Pediatrics

Kids use play and pretend to make sense of and explore their world.

My two-year-old son talks to his stuffed animals explaining how BoBo the Bear is either sad, happy or angry. Through that (non-tech) toy, he is beginning to grasp the concept of emotions outside of his own. He’s also doing this by interacting and explaining these concepts to me, my husband, and his brothers.

Technology on the Developing Brain

Every year of a person’s life is important. However, we know the most important years are in those first five years. Experiences shape and mold a baby’s innate personality. Because of this, it’s vital that we realize what a brain needs to grow.

Technology actually is not one of those things. Can you believe it? I’m being sarcastic, but I think we often need this reminder.

It is true that we are far more advanced in today’s world because of technology. Conversely, high -ech toys can negatively impact kids and not help brain development in the way many people think (or are sold on).

My eyes were opened to all the systems in our bodies that are disturbed by technology in the book, Reset Your Child’s Brain by Victoria L. Dunkley, M.D. I highly recommend it!

She addresses the effects of screens including electronic book readers, video games, iPads, iPhones, television and basically anything with an actual screen.

“Because electronic screen media is unnaturally intense in terms of sensory, cognitive, and psychological input – designed to keep the user engaged – it tends to overstimulate the nervous system. The brain interprets all this stimulating input as a form of stress.  This, in turn, triggers fight-or-flight reactions and a high state of arousal, making it difficult to wind down and sleep deeply.”

With Every Use, Technology Changes The Brain

The reward pathways begin to become desensitized because of how much they are used. Although some companies and “experts” claim that technology doesn’t affect the brain, it does.

The way Dr. Dunkley explains the impact of tech toys and screens on kids’ developing brains makes me think of a trickle-down effect.

Our frontal lobes are where emotional regulation, attention, creativity, and social behaviors are developed. Screens can cause such a drastic change in this area that more blood starts to flow down to the primitive, “reptilian” brain (which is more rigid and compulsive). Then chronic stress increases cortisol levels making it even harder to access the frontal lobe. Lastly, with the increase of cortisol, the hippocampus (our memory center) can be impaired. This can cause sleep challenges and even cause the brain to shrink, our bodies to gain weight, and an increase in blood sugar.

Over time, the stimulation can change the frontal lobe affecting the way a child thinks, behaves, relates to others, and feels to a point where Dr. Dunkley calls Electronic Screen Syndrome or ESS. This ESS can look like many other psychiatric disorders which then leads to doctors prescribing medicine to correct the wrong problem.

Whew! That’s a lot to take in!!

I can’t recall the book addressing babies and toddlers and tech toys. Because their systems are so brand-spankin’ new, I have to imagine the havoc all the lights, sounds, and visual stimulation could be having on their growing brains and bodies.

It’s too much.

Again, babies may be more drawn to a toy or iPhone app with a ton of visual and auditory stimulation making your life WAY EASIER to hand over to them to keep them busy, but it also can prevent them from being able to develop self-regulation amongst many other life skills.

Sidenote: Do you have a school-aged child who can’t seem to put down the controller or hand over the iPad without a fight? I sure do! It’s because his nervous system (and differently wired brain) cannot handle the stimulation. By having him set limits on how much time he gets in front of the screen and teaching him how to handle his big emotions, he is a much happier and calmer kid!

Bonus!! For signing up for my newsletter, you will receive a FREE Calm Down Toolkit to help your child handle his or her big emotions.

The Impact of Tech Toys For Kids

Again, our school-aged kids own high-tech toys. We work together to help them develop self-control while using screens. I wish there was a magic answer on how much time or how to do this, but there’s not!

I’m not saying that you should throw away anything that moves or resembles a robot or computer. Well, maybe hide them from your baby or toddler for a while *wink wink.

What we must do, though, is to pay attention to how tech toys impact our kids.

Check in with how they feel when they play with those kinds of toys and if there are any delays in important life skills. For some differently wired kids, technology may actually be the answer to help them with these skills so it’s important to look at your unique child.

Life Skills to Look At:

• Self-control – This is a BIGGIE especially in our home. Look at the ability or inability your child has to stop playing with the robot, tablet or video game. Do they fight you, do they seem stressed, can they look at you in the eyes? These are all signs that could indicate the overstimulation of the Autonomic Nervous System or a sign of ESS.
• Social-emotional skills – Do they want to play with other real-life human kids? That may sound like a joke, but in today’s world, it’s very important to look at your child’s social patterns.
• Executive Function – Can your child organize, plan or manage time? If not, look into ways without using a screen to strengthen those skills.
• Resilience – How do they handle failure? Do they bounce back quickly or lose it every time?

Our older boys love their technologically-driven toys but get even more enjoyment out of creating, building, throwing, riding and playing with open-ended toys and materials.

I also want to mention we do not give our toddler a cell phone, or tablet of any sort even ones marketed to his age, or even let him watch much television. (Okay, we had to give the phone to him twice but desperate times called for desperate measures. And he played with the tablet for the first time while taking photos for this post). Obviously, it’s inevitable he’ll have some access to these things with two older brothers but because this stuff doesn’t get turned on Monday – Friday, it’s easier to control.

I can say that because of this, mixed with his personality, he doesn’t even ask to watch shows, play video games or other technological toys and prefers “driving” his dirt bike across the couch a thousand times. He also builds tracks up and down the hallways as his older brother did. He can self-play for hours. The only tech-like toys he has are some V-Tech train tracks that have lights and sounds, but they also incorporate STEM skills.

The Best Toys For Cognitive Development

We are teaching our boys to understand and acknowledge how technology makes them feel and then comparing it to the non-tech stuff.

Dopamine still increases when engaging in creative free-range play. The more they do it, the more (neurological) rewards they get.

Technology can override this feeling.

This is the reason why it’s important to show your kids how to manage the amount of technology they use; not just take it away or give time limits.

If you want to find toys that promote cognitive development, check out Parent’s Choice Foundation. I love their PlayAbility Scale™ because it includes a great list of the cognitive skills different toys promote and develop.

Keep these things in mind before buying any kind of latest and greatest hottest toy that’s going to turn your child into a neuroscientist overnight. Again, sarcasm.

The Toys You Do Want to Buy!

If we want to limit the usage of high tech toys, then what should we encourage our kids to play with? It’s simple! The old school, back to basics toys.

Referring back to the “Selecting Appropriate Toys for Young Children in the Digital Era” on The Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, they recommend “high-quality toys in each of these categories (below) can facilitate caregiver-child interactions, peer play, and the growth of imagination. It should be emphasized that high-quality toys need not be expensive.”

Examples of Traditional Toys:

• Symbolic and/or Pretend:
  • Dolls
  • Action Figures
  • Cars
  • Cooking/Feeding toys
  • Dress Up Clothes
• Fine Motor, Adaptive, and/or manipulatives
  • Blocks
  • Shapes
  • Puzzles
  • Legos
  • Trains
• Art
  • Clay
  • Coloring
  • Paint
  • Crafts
• Language and/or Concepts
  • Card Games, Board Games and Strategy Games
  • Toy Letters, Numbers and Shapes
• Gross Motor and/or Physical
  • Large Toy Cars
  • Tricycles, Bicycles, Scooters and Skateboards
  • Push and Pull Toys
  • Balls and other Sport-Related Games

Related: The Ultimate List of Toys and Activity Lists to Keep Toddlers Busy

Where To Shop

I am a full supporter of stores and businesses that promote the development of cognitive skills. Here are a few toy companies that I’m an affiliate for because of this reason!

Brackitz

How fun are these?! My boys LOVE building toys. Kids have the ability to create super simple or complex structures. This is a GREAT toy that promotes creativity, fine motor, and engineering skills.

ToyLibrary

I LOVE the concept of ToyLibrary! Research has shown that the more toys kids have, the less they play with them. Kids are also more apt to play with something if it’s “new”. And clutter is not good for their mental health.

For each shipment, you choose two toys (or one expensive toy), let your kids play with them then send the toys back so they can sanitize and ship out to the next family.

This company focuses on providing toys that develop all the skills that were mentioned above! They even have a system that identifies which skills and for what developmental age. Genius!

Sensory TheraPlay Box

Sensory toys have been such life savers for us.

These boxes are marketed for kids with sensory processing challenges, but I think they are great for all kids! Sensory TheraPlay Boxes have a subscription option or you can purchase a sampler or the previous month’s box individually. The items are curated by an Occupational Therapist and include items like play foam, stretch bands, stickers, scratchboards and other manipulatives.

The Natural Baby Company

This company has many cognitive-developmental toys for babies and toddlers including Waldorf toys, books, dolls, puzzles, magnetic mazes, ride-on vehicles, STEM toys and other wooden toys.

Lovevery

On Lovevery’s homepage, there is a quote that says, “designed by experts for your child’s developing brain.” We need more companies whose focus is on that and not overstimulating our kids!

The toddler playkits are sent every few months with toys that are developmentally appropriate for your baby as he or she grows! What a cool idea!! Lovevery also has a few other options for non-tech toys.

Educate and Decide For Yourself

I’m not here to judge whether or not you allow your toddler to own new tech toys or your older kids to own a tablet, iPad and iPhone that they play for hours and hours every day.

What I am here to do is to inform you what tech toys could be doing to your kid’s developing brain which will impact them for their entire life.

If you are a parent, most likely, you did not grow up with technology shoved in your face. Your brain had a chance to develop in a way to crave and want connection, and autonomy and to feel safe, seen and heard.

If we don’t allow our kids to develop in this same way, it’s looking as if anxiety and depression are going to continue to rise making it a very sad future. Ironically, because of technology and this “information age”, we do have the power to make a change, now!