Raising Kids With Purpose

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It’s here!

I finally made the leap.

After dreaming and talking about and thinking I wanted to start a blog to help moms, the time is now here! One of my favorite pastimes is to read (and listen) to parenting professionals. I love learning. And I love being a mom so my brain married the two. Here comes the mom.

I digress.

After being a mom for nine years, I have learned a lot of information that I can’t wait to share with others. I understand not everyone has the time to read an entire book or sometimes may not even know what to spend hours researching a certain parenting topic.

That’s what I’m here for. I’m here to help YOU on your parenting journey as I’m well into mine. with three kids, 9, 6 and 1.

Most of my circle of mom friends know this about me. I can’t tell you  how much joy it brings me when they ask me a question regarding neuroscience, behavior strategies, neurodiverse or questions relating to executive function or emotional regulation. Yes, I’m that much of a nerd. If I can use my nerdiness (and ability to make up words) to help moms stay sane and provide the best possible environment for their kids then I win.

They win.

The kids win.

We all win together! Insert jumping with joy GIF here.

My Journey

Walking around Barnes and Noble, I searched for resources that would help me be a better mom. Books are my calm place. Growing up with OCD, I have found that I can control it if I know everything I can about whatever it is I’m doing or tackling. I remember the moment I pulled Positive Discipline, The First Three Years by Jane Nelson off the shelf. It felt right.

I read the entire thing from start to finish. My poor husband was the recipient of all this new wonderful information I was learning…

• Be kind but firm. You can be firm, but make sure you are kind.
• Make your child feel like he or she belongs.
• Make sure what you do is long term not just something that works in the moment.
• Discipline at the root is to teach. You know, like disciple.
• Tell your child what TO DO not what NOT to do. Don’t make them think twice.
• And lastly, help your child know they are capable and how they can use their own power.

I had my book in hand along with So That’s What They’re For!: The Definitive Breastfeeding Guide. You know why? That is because my baby was still cooking. Yep, I couldn’t even hold him in my arms yet. I was that person. Reading about how to parent my child before I even had a child to parent. It made me feel like I was armed and ready for anything that came my way.

Then he came. I remember having checklists and spreadsheets and ideas in my head on what motherhood would be like. I hope I’m not the only one.

My labor and delivery nurse saw these spreadsheets and told me, “You know, babies kind have their own agendas.” I nodded but inside was thinking, “Ya, right, with all the right scheduling tools and positive discipline techniques. I have this in the bag.” Okay, I don’t ever say ‘I have this in the bag’, but the thoughts were something like that.

And did I mention he arrived? He didn’t only have his own agenda, but he came out ready to do something to this world. Since those early months, I have prayed that he uses all that energy and determination for something good. We’re nine years in and I would say so far we’re on track. Praise God even though I still hold my breath. Daily.

In addition to that little ready to party little firecracker of a child of ours came another and not too long ago came another. All boys. With each one is a totally different temperament, personality and like my l&d nurse said, agenda. With each child, I’m learning more and more about how to help them thrive so one day they will be independent, kind, God-loving, incredible individuals. A lot of it is determined by them but it is our job as parents to disciple, teach, mold and let them grow.

I want to Help YOU!

Of course, in typical Adriane fashion, I read. I read (and to be honest, read) books and listen to podcasts to help give me those tools my kiddos need. Through trial and error, it’s been fascinating to see what works and what doesn’t work and what doesn’t work then, ends up working eventually.

I have found through my “research” that the two biggest parenting nuggets that will help any parent are self care/self regulation and connection. I can’t help my child if I can’t control my behavior in front of or with them.

From my earliest memories I have always wanted to help people. I love people from my very core. I have God to thank for that.

“You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else.” Colossions 3:12-14

By combining all the wonderful knowledge I have gained from countless and incredible psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians and other moms and dads, I truly pray and hope I can help you with any challenges you may face as a mom. And as a woman. And as a human being. Also, I may give you some yummy snack recipes and how to make and do fun activities so you can raise your kids with purpose.

xo,
Adriane