A few months ago, I asked a friend this question.
Should we be worried about our kids playing with toy guns?
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She, too, is a momma of boys. I respect her opinion so I was intrigued as to how she and her husband handle this topic in their home.
She agreed it was a toughie.
We both have explained the difference between fake and real guns to our kids. There are rules and boundaries on how to play. We often have to remind them of these rules over and over and over again. Repeating expectations helps kids know we care about them, love them and it provides security. This is also how they learn!
Besides aggressive play, our boys don’t play or own any video game consoles. They play a few games on their tablets (during the 45 minutes they get per WEEK). None of these games, however, involve guns. Also, they don’t watch any violent movies or shows; in fact, they barely watch any television at all.
Knowing I love research, she suggested I did a little digging. Days after our conversation, I hadn’t had time to look anything up, yet this topic became even more apparent that it’s important.
Table of Contents
What I learned after being verbally attacked over toy guns
*This was written the night this happened because I was emotionally rattled and needed to get it out. Someone told me that when I started to blog, God may start giving me “content”. Well, here’s some content for ya!
It was a Thursday. Park day.
A few friends from a local church like to get together after school one day a week to hang out and let the kids play. It was mostly boys between the ages of two and nine.
On this particular day, we were at a park that was new to us. A few of the other boys brought toy guns. Our kids’ toy guns stay at home but they happily shared their friends’. There were a few NERF guns, a lot of bullets and a few guns that didn’t shoot anything, but instead, made annoying sounds.
The boys were running around shooting each other.
Let me rephrase that.
They were yelling loudly running every which way, jumping off of anything they could, enjoying being rowdy outside after a long day at school. They were probably playing cops and robbers involving a few arrests. Not many NERF bullets were flying as they seemed to favor the noisy guns instead.
They were purely playing. Very intensely and loudly, but nonetheless, playing.
As I was over with the other moms under a ramada for a few moments, a woman came over asking whose son one of the boys was. She was upset that he was using inappropriate gun language towards her toddler.
I was the lucky winner of that boy.
Pulling him aside, I asked what happened. He claimed he didn’t say those words. Part of me felt guilty that I wasn’t by his side to know exactly what he said, but I also know how damaging helicopter parenting is.
It’s vital that our kids get freedom (within boundaries) even if they do make less than good choices. And when (it’s never IF because there is not a single perfect person) a bad choice is made, as cliche as it sounds, it’s a teaching opportunity. It’s not usually a character issue with this particular son but a chemical one especially since he’s Twice Exceptional.
The lady had already yelled at him leaving him armed and ready to defend. Because of this, I knew it was going to be hard to communicate with him at that time.
With him being differently wired and well, who he is, talking to him in the moment usually makes things worse, not better. If we can wait until his prefrontal cortex comes back online, he is far more open to discussing his poor choices. Then he can process that information to figure out how he can make better choices next time. That’s what we care more about than forcing him to say sorry on the spot without any change to his heart.
I used very little words. Instead of getting into it with him there, I asked him how he could make things right. I asked if he thought he should go apologize even though he denied her accusations.
As we were talking, I heard an older woman yelling at my other son and his friend. She was screaming at them to stop aiming their guns at her. Then she proceeded to reprimand one of the (very young) boys because he was rolling his eyes.
It all happened so fast.
Somehow, I was standing in between two playground structures with three adults on both sides throwing words and gestures at me like I was their target at shooting practice. No pun intended.
They said that our kids needed psychiatric help because they were using words like “sniper” and saying, “I’m going to shoot you,” to each other. The one woman said she was a school principal. She mentioned that if she saw that behavior on her playground, she would be getting that family help. She also said that this was a public park and how dare our kids to make it uncomfortable for others to play.
As I was trying to connect with my little boy to see if he was intentionally pointing the gun at the lady (which I was standing right there and he was not; it just happened to be in her direction), the man who was with her starting yelling at me saying I needed to actually parent and take the gun away from him. Then the insult that rocked me to my core was,
“You are a horrible parent.”
I can barely write that without tears rolling down my face onto the keyboard. I was trying to help my child the best way I knew how, but they wouldn’t even give me the room to breathe.
Their anger was suffocating me.
Somehow I remained calm. Thank you Jesus, and thank you for mindfulness! As I politely responded, they got louder and louder until the woman pulled out her phone to call the police.
The police never came.
I don’t write all of this in a way that puts us at no fault. They were offended and their feelings (for whatever reasons they had) about toy guns were validated.
However, the way they handled the situation was not helpful to anyone and made it nearly impossible for me to parent. Ironically, this is why they got so mad.
Once the irate families left, I returned to my friends who had no idea any of this was happening. Calmly, I told them, “Those people just called the cops on us.” Jaws dropped and I was met with confused stares. They were so sweet making sure I was okay.
Shortly after, I gathered my crew and we drove home while most of us cried. It felt awful yet there were incredible learning opportunities that came from the situation. We were able to discuss:
- How to read people
- Ways to properly handle conflict
- How many people have very strong opinions about different topics
- How our words really do matter
- What we should do when an adult is irate, etc.
Because I was able to do this AFTER the fact and when they were in a teachable state, they still talk and reference back to what happened and are equipped to make a better choice.
What Are My Personal Thoughts On Toy Guns?
Good question.
My brother was killed with a real gun at the age of 19 and didn’t survive.
I hate guns. I hate violence.
Mean people make me really really sad. And evil hurts my head, body and more than anything, my heart. I feel like even more than the average person; it’s like I can actually feel the excruciating aches and cries of those wounded. My heart and prayers go out to anyone affected by real guns or any kind of weaponed used for harm.
But what about toy guns? Is it the same thing?
I know my kids don’t think they are real and play is important. As a friend of mine says, “Boys also come out of the womb as caveman ready for war.” Our two-year-old turns paper, pencils, pretty much anything and pretends to shoot it, but by being okay with it, does that mean we normalizing real guns? And is that okay?
I have a lot of questions! Whenever researching a topic like this, I really wanted to look at both sides. There is evidence that is in support and is also against the use of toy guns for kids. With anything in parenting or life, we have the ultimate decision to do what we think is best for our kids.
What the research says:
Before we get into the play side of toy guns, it’s imperative we teach our kids other topics surrounding guns and violence. If we forbid our kids of something without them fully understanding why they will want it even more.
Educate Educate Educate
We need to talk to our kids about both gun safety and gun violence as they will be exposed to it whether it is on the news, internet, tv, school or friends. With any “hard topic,” it’s always best that they hear from us first.
We have to remember this is an ongoing conversation over the years as they grow and develop a greater understanding of the world around them. Kids are wired to want to learn from their parents.
The More Important Issue
Talking to our kids about issues surrounding guns is more important than allowing them to play with a squirt gun, NERF gun or plastic noise-maker.
Here are ways and topics to discuss with your kids. We want to keep their developmental age in mind and do it in a way that doesn’t create debilitating anxiety.
- There is endemic violence that is occurring in our country and around the world. | It’s important that our kids hear about these tragedies from us and not the news or the internet. We can discuss it in an age-appropriate way and reiterate that it’s our responsibility as parents to keep them safe.
- There are healthy ways to diffuse anger. | This goes for how to control our own anger as to how to respond to those who are angry like I tried my hardest to display to my kids in the story above.
- How to handle conflict. | We don’t come out of the womb knowing how to handle conflict. This must be taught!
- Why there are safety protocols and police officers on the streets and may even be in your child’s school. | Have open discussions about the drills they do and that servicemen and women’s responsibilities are to keep them safe.
- What to do if they see a gun. | See below.
As I’m typing this, I want to make sure I’m not minimizing what continues to happen in our country and worldwide with gun violence. We do need to process it, pray for the families, show sincere support; not just see it on the news then forget about it.
Dr. F. Ski Chilton explains, ” …if a threat is constantly reinforced by repetitive exposure, nature has put in genetic (actually epigenetic) mechanisms that assure that this fear is learned and intensified, and our response to it only grows stronger.”
Teach Your Kids About Gun Safety
In addition to gun violence, we also need to make our kids very aware that guns are weapons. Here are the basics of gun safety according to NRA Family.
- Teach your child that if they see a gun, “Stop. Don’t Touch. Leave the Area. Tell an adult.” This mantra is from NRA’s Eddie Eagle. Even if they think the gun is fake, make sure they know to get an adult immediately.
- If they ever are handling a gun with an adult’s supervision, treat all guns as if they are loaded. Tell them to always keep their finger off the trigger unless they are ready to shoot. Always keep the gun pointed in a safe direction. And always keep the gun unloaded until ready to use.
- Make sure they know guns including BB guns are not to play with like a toy because toys don’t hurt; real guns do.
- Stress how different guns have different power.
- Start with target practice in a safe environment shooting something like cans.
The Debate About Toy (NOT REAL) Guns
Educating and keeping an open conversation with our kids about the real thing is utterly important.
Allowing our kids to play and use their imaginations are vital to healthy development.
More than ever, our kids are getting less and less unstructured play. Despite the research that supports play linking to social and cognitive development, too much structure, pressure for our kids to perform and technology is providing a barricade.
Why Kids Should NOT Play With Toy Guns
To be honest, it was a lot harder to find information in support of keeping toy guns out of kids’ hands. I intentionally went out seeking why kids should not play with toy guns and most of the content led back to why it’s beneficial.
However, I did find one very small study done in 1992. The conclusion was that playing with toy guns made kids (mostly boys) more aggressive. However, the biggest factor wasn’t about the to guns but rather, how they were parented at home. Corporal punishment and harsh talk played a bigger role than just the toy guns themselves.
Other than that study, a lot of people had personal opinions about not prohibiting toy gun play. Mostly, it was stemmed from the heightened fear of real gun usage or the opinion that toy gun play leads to aggressive adults.
The Benefits of Toy Gun and Aggressive Play
From pouring over all the evidence, it seems that there are a lot of benefits. I read a lot of studies and articles regarding the subject. In particular, this article by Jay Mechling was written well and full of juicy research if you want to dig deeper.
Why we should allow our kids to play with toy guns:
- Playing with toy guns is not about violence, instead, it symbolizes power, leadership, authority, strength, and control. | Kids are able to decipher between these skills in the safety of play {source}
- If you try banning this type of play for a kid who is drawn to pretend shooting things, it will give the toy gun and aggressive play more power. | They may hide it or feel shame for having the desire.
- When kids are forbidden from taking part of aggressive play with or without weapons, they are being limited in the opportunities they can have for cognitive, social and emotional, physical, and verbal development. | Kids especially boys have been playing this way for hundreds of years. {source}
- When a child is playing with a toy gun, it’s not real violence. | This is many adults’ perception like the people in my story. Michael Thompson of “Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys states, “I understand why parents get upset by these games, but it is play, and play does not lead to lethal aggression. Play … is consensual. Aggression is hurtful and produces injury in the person. Play doesn’t produce any of that.”
- Yelling at a child for engaging in typical pretend play can cause shame which then cuts off communication.
- Toy guns can help kids self-regulate out in the real world. | Researchers postulate that when kids incorporate violence into their pretend play, they may learn how to control real violent impulses and regulate their emotions.
- Lastly, compared to other forms of healthy aggressive play, playing with toy guns is considerably more “hands off.”
Read Next: 18 Ways To Help Your Kid Calm Down
9 Tips for Allowing Your Kids To Play With Guns
- The intent should never be to hurt. | Letting kids go buck wild with a toy gun or aggressive play is never okay. Once it’s clear that the kid has crossed the threshold from play to real aggression, it must be stopped (through positive communication, of course!)
- Encourage your kids to switch roles from being the bad guy to the good guy. | Or I would prefer always the good guy because my fantasy world doesn’t involve bad guys. Ha!
- Be careful with criticizing the words they are using during this type of play. | Thompson says, “Boys think, ‘If you don’t like my play, you don’t like me.'” Allow them to be imaginative.
- Stand up for your kids. | Respectfully stand up to other adults who are scrutinizing how your kids are playing. Reference all the benefits above if they give you time to speak.
- Monitor what kind of guns they play with. | Maybe stay away from ones that replicate real ones, toy guns that can still hurt like a paintball gun and others that may cause injury.
- Constantly remind kids to never aim a toy gun at someone’s face even if it doesn’t shoot anything. | This is something we feel is very important to teach our boys.
- Make sure your child knows how to point out a toy gun from a real gun. | Teach him or her the mantra listed above if they do come across the real thing.
- Keep the amount to a minimum. | If they start becoming obsessed or build up a huge arsenal, maybe limit it to a certain amount. A great tip from my friend mentioned at the beginning of the post is that her son has to donate his NERF gun in order to get a new one.
- Consider where they are allowed to play with the toy guns. | Obviously, some people have very strong opinions about the subject so maybe keep them at home or only with other kids whose parents see the benefit.
An Apology
If somehow the people that were at the park stumble upon this post, I would like to apologize.
We did not in any way want you to feel like you couldn’t be at the park with the little girls you were with. My boys had a lot of remorse in making you feel that way and learned really great lessons.
They were only playing which I know you don’t agree is appropriate. As I found through hours of research, it can be healthy and beneficial to their development.
They didn’t mean any harm.
My son who said those words had a REALLY tough day that day at school and was already feeling defeated. He also thinks and acts differently than a neurotypical kid, but is also one of the most empathic, sweetest, most intelligent and caring boys I know. And more importantly, he understood that his words make an impact but sometimes can’t realize it until after. This is not his choice; it’s where he is, developmentally.
I don’t want to negate my apology because it is of utmost sincerity. But for my own healing, I want to also forgive you for saying some very hurtful things to me, a mom who has made it her life’s goal to raise psychologically healthy, joyful, kind and respectful humans with the help of the best research out there and even more importantly, God.
I know I don’t always get it right and with the help of you pointing that out, I can try harder and give myself the grace to keep fighting the good fight.
What Are Your Thoughts?
From all the research I feel a little bit of a relief that there is good to be found in this type of play. My gut definitely still struggles with it.
I would love to know! What are your thoughts on allowing kids to play with toy guns? Leave a reply below.
Hello!!! I’m Adriane. I’m a mom to three loud boys, am a research-a-holic and very passionate person who writes at Raising Kids With Purpose. Parenting can feel so hard sometimes but with mindset shifts and understanding, it can be very enjoyable. My hope is to inspire parents like you to create lifelong connections with your children and enjoy the journey along the way!
Tamara says
God gave you an extra measure of grace that day. Also, if I were a school principle, and I had gone off on strangers like that… Well, I sure wouldn’t be telling folks I was charge of lil ones.
That being said, we don’t know their backstory nor why they were so angry that day.
Well written timely post!
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
Thank you so much Tamara!!! Yes, lots of grace and totally agree. She was using it to defend herself but it made me question how she runs her school. Again, they were offended and probably rightly so and we learned sooo much from that day!
Cassandra says
I am totally with you on this post.! For so long, we wouldn’t allow our son to have any guns and he was always turning other objects into guns. We teach gun safety and exlain that the real things are dangerous. Our son gets it, at 6, he just wants to free play, running around, dodging imaginary bullets and lots of laughter happens when we do play guns together. You’re doing a great job dear! I love ya!
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
Thank you!!!!! I love this so much and love hearing how you’re embracing him playing with toy guns. It’s much more important how we treat our kids and the messages we’re giving them. Love ya!!!
Shaniqua Grace says
This is a really great post and you make great points. I I can’t believe those people had the nerve to insult you the way they did. You really kept your calm, I hope the learn to communicate disagreements better. I actually never thought about toy guns, I have one year old twin boys and come to think about it I’m sure they will get interested in them at some point. I agree with the point you made about letting them know real vs fake and teaching them about gun safety. Great read and thought provoking.
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
Yes, with twin boys, I’m sure they will be in your future even if they aren’t necessarily interested. LOL! Yes, it made me sad. Just today, I was just listening to an incredible book, Beyond Behaviors, and she goes through the brain science of play. It’s vital that our kids experience these situations in play which proves they will be less aggressive in real life. Unfortunately, this is the opposite belief of those people…and one was supposedly an educator! It’s experiences like this though that make us better if we are able to allow ourselves to learn from them and not become offended or angered. Thank you for commenting!
Peter Clark says
Thanks for sharing information about kids playing with toy guns, Your blog very helpful.
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
Thank you! I’m happy my experience can encourage and help you!
Peter Clark says
Nice blog about kids playing with toys guns. I think your blog very helpful for more people.Thanks for sharing the information.
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
Thank you.
Kim says
Wow, is all I can say about your “accusers”. Being a former public school teacher and now a stay-at-home mom of two boys (one now grown), the Principal’s behavior is honestly shocking. Why? Because when you mix kids from all different backgrounds, including children from drug infested homes, in a public school setting, of course there is gun banter. It feeds from the kids who do live that way into the kids who don’t live that way because they think it is cool. She should know this! My oldest son is very solid in his gender and grew up shooting cap guns, sticks and yielding play swords. We never really let him watch gun violence on TV and honestly, his idea growing up of guns was purely in his own head, which wasn’t much. Sure, boys need to be respectful of others around them, but to treat BOYS (and their moms) like using play gun violence is completely inappropriate and bad parenting is horrible. The Principal particularly should know better than to project her school children’s issues onto a few boys letting off steam. You are a good mom and it shows. Teaching caution is wise, but mostly about other people’s ideas of what they are spewing out and how to sift out the lie that your sons actually did anything wrong. Big hugs to you~IJN
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
At first, I got nervous as I saw your long comment. Because I am still finding myself on the defense about this. THANK YOU so much for taking the time write this. I never thought of it that way but you are so right. All of the kids at the park were all from two-parent, non-violent, kind parent homes. And I’m almost certain none of them even have access to seeing guns on TV let alone video games. It did seem odd to me that she said she was a principal but I have no hard feelings. It definitely rattled me and made my heart sad but we also learned so much together as a family. Thank you for your support!
Peter Clark says
The post you shared here is very informative. Thanks for sharing such a knowledgeable post about toy guns.
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
Thank you!
Peter Clark says
Thanks for give the information regarding “Toys gun”.Your generosity and thoughtfulness are very much appreciated.
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
Thanks
Lachlan says
Great article and couldn’t agree with you more. You can’t stop or stifle kids to toy gun play as it is inevitable. Rather teach them how to be responsible and be disciplined with their approach to toy gun play. As a parent of two young boys , a licensed shooter and a veteran with 26 years of service in the Army as an infantryman, it’s fair to say I have an appreciation of firearms and their lethal effects. Educating kids in toy gun play is like teaching combat sports (i.e. martial arts) . The techniques taught in any combat sport can serious hurt or even kill someone, but with correct training, rules and supervision, kids will understand and be disciplined in applying those skills in the right context. It’s interesting to note that an expert on the psychology of killing and combat, Dave Grossman, doesn’t attribute to toy gun play is a cause to violence and aggression in teens and young men. It is violent first shooter video games where they are wired to having no repercussions to violence and killing and in fact, you are rewarded for this behaviour.
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
Thank you for your insight! I really appreciate all that you sacrificed for our country. Yes, it’s in the education of our kids. Kids learn through play. This was still a horrible memory of mine but we did learn so much! And I agree about the first shooter games. I’m appalled at what is available for kids to play. I never thought about the reward but that’s so true! And they’re getting a ton of dopamine so they have physiological rewards as well.
Nicole says
I just want to share a perspective that you may or may not have been aware of. I’m a black woman married to a white man. We have to mixed children. One is a boy. My husband is a cop.
I need to say all of this because I know first hand how things differ depending on where you are and what you look like. There have been too many instances where a toy gun has been mistaken as a real gun by people with real guns. And when children froze in shock instead of processing and responding to demands, they lost their life. There is a fear of guns and aggressive play among Black Americans. It is our boys who get killed. It is our men who become “threats” to others just by being. Studies show that starting at about age 10, black boys are seen as older than they are. Black boys under 18 are tried as adults 8.1 times as often as white boys for the same exact crimes. Black people in general, but black men and boys, are policed more than and differently than any other population. For me, preventing my son from playing with guns is about saving his life. For me, tempering his aggressive play, is keeping him from being suspended from school and out of prison. Black kids are suspended much more than white children who engage in the same offenses. It is privilege that allows you to say that teaching your kids about power and authority and such. A black boy or man with power is seen as an imminent threat. How many times have the “I was in fear for my life” line been used to justify harming unarmed black boys and men?
I know it doesn’t make sense to you because it doesn’t make sense to me. But the momma in me wants to make sure I don’t lose my child over a nerf gun.
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
My heart absolutely breaks as I read every line of your comment. I do talk to my kids about these things and they are very well aware of what white privilege means and how to stand up for their brothers and sisters of all races. Nothing that you are mentioning was at play at the playground during the instance I reference. In every article and research document I read, bright-colored guns aren’t the ones that are mistaken for real guns. Research shows that allowing kids to play with toy guns and play fight helps them to not be violent. It also gives us the opportunity to teach these concepts in a developmentally appropriate and understandable way. Young kids don’t have a concept of the finality of death and what a gun can bring. Because of our current landscape maybe the answer is to only give them that opportunity to learn through play at home. Thank you for your very important perspective as this is what our country needs – the ability to empathize and see things from other people’s points of view so thank you for doing that for us all! Empathy is a way that we can overcome injustice in addition to mental health disorders like anxiety and depression.
Roberto Romano says
When was a children played always with my mother with fake gun! It’s normal,was only a game,without danger,don’t was real gun! Today the people are crazy,see the bad in everything!
Maria Lopez says
I am the director of a preschool. Every year we see children wanting to play with guns, swords, lazors and just full on karate. They will make a weapon out of anything. We stop them from making/using weapons and ask them to make something else. We let them know that real weapons can hurt people, just like hitting and pushing, and we want them to practice using their hands for kindness, like hugging, handshakes, high fives, etc. They seem to do great with this explanation.
I’ve seen over and over that young children have a hard time knowing the difference between make believe and reality. Very often when I speak with my preschool children, they tell me about movies they’ve watched. Most young children think Batman, Spider-man, and other super hero’s are real. They don’t understand that they are just actors in a costume. Too often these days, children are allowed to watch “children’s movies/cartoons where weapons are used. In this kind of entertainment, often the “hurt” character jumps up after being shot, karate chopped, etc., this is not real life!! My fear is the combination of weapon play and the media type/time children are getting, will not help our current state of violence in our nation. Why not try to keep things positive? The world is a different place right now.
What I ask of all parents is this: if your philosophy is to allow your young children to play with weapons, please talk with each school about their weapon policy before choosing a school. If it is a preschool like ours, that encourages hands being used for kindness, and you still choose the school, please respect their philosophy and tell your children that weapon play is only for home. Even then, it is hard for them to “turn it off and on”. Believe me, there are as many parents against weapon play, as there are for it.
Megan says
For a lot of people who are against toy guns It’s mainly more about if aggressive play is 100% truly actually healthy for the kids or not . It’s like you said toy guns teach aggressive play then educating is needed big time by the parents with set boundary rules for how to play safely so no one gets hurt or harmed, since some parents don’t teach their kids about the differences about pretend guns vs real ones and don’t set boundary rules for pretend gun play then the kid ends up going off wildly and could end up hurting or harming someone . It’s also why aggressive play requires supervision and keeping a close eye on the kids behavior 24/7 while they play which a lot of other parents also don’t do at all. Aggressive play with fake guns is also being debated for fake guns normalizing real guns even if they aren’t loaded with anything since a lot of fake guns look too realistically real. There are some parents who make way more mistakes than you and they don’t notice it not even when someone points a tiny simple little thing to them which is more worrysome . You are at least trying to teach your kids the right way about real guns vs pretend play guns which I applaud you For doing the right thing.
A lot of fun toys get discontinued because of someone little big careless and reckless with a toy then it ruins the fun for every one else with the same toys aka the this way we can’t have nice things Motto.
Also supervision is needed to make the kids are actually just pretend playing and not getting stuck on the same pretend scenarios over and over and over and over again causing a lot of parents to be worried about if their kids are gonna end up being violent in the future or not or if their kid is gonna end up being a victim to gun violence in the future or not and whether or not the kid is actually truly pretend playing or not.
Teaching kids not the shoot anyone in the face is a very extremely good/great idea since kids can use their imaginations for example my niece has two of those foam dart shooter thingies a tiny one shaped similar to a gun without being a nerf gun not sure what that toy is actually called though but we teach her not to shoot the foam darts at anyone’s face just incase the foam darts could be dangerous or hurt someone if they get hit in the eye and then we can actually have an actual fun time pretend shooting foam darts with her if she wants to play with someone else and we keep an eye on her while playing with her. But luckily she’s a girl and she’s only 4 year old so she’s not as aggressive she’s usually just somewhat bossy but still loveable.
And also a lot of toy guns can be shooted a fake toy targets espeically the nerf guns.
And also America already has one big huge massive issues with real guns in general toy ones defientely shouldn’t have to be added to that list yet they partly are by a lot of people espeically the nerf ones since some of the nerf guns can cause serious irreversible eye damage like blindless temporary or permanent and a lot of other serious injuries if someone gets hit in the eye with a nerf bullet and depending how hard and fast someone gets hit with it so it probably clearly shouldn’t be pointed at people’s faces in general espeically not when people can make fake targets to aim at or you can just aim at nothing .
It’s also like you described some people simply just don’t like stuff that could hurt or somehow harm them pointed in their direction regardless of whether or not it’s a toy like a toy gun,a frisbee,a ball…etc… some people just simply don’t like stuff that can come flying to them towards their faces infront of their faces because they fear too much of getting hurt or harmed somehow by a flying object. Like when I was little I use to be afraid of anything that would come flying at me all because I once got hit in the face with one of the many balls that exists in the world and some times to this day I still don’t trust anything that flys towards me all that much. some people you ran into at the park probably clearly just had past bad experiences with something that flys towards them or something like that.
Your scenario at the park didn’t require you to be yelled at,It only required to be pointed out to you in a much nicer way so you could learn from it and do the right thing. Toys are suppose to been seen toys and not have you fearing for your life or have you feeling unsafe at a park because of a couple of kids pretend playing with a toy that makes noises. Even Toy Laser guns can make noises and a lot of people can get annoyed by those as well.
Greg says
I grew up playing with every kind of toy gun I could get my hands on, the more realistic the better. It became a problem that these toys could be mistaken as real, first because of the look of them, then because of the increasing reality that even a CHILD could have a real gun coupled with an increasing push by gun-rights groups to shoot first and ask questions later. Many toy guns became more brightly colored, more exaggerated in shape. Kids and toy guns were seemingly moving toward innocence. Unfortunately, at the same time, many gun-rights people were moving toward Stand Your Ground, We’re All Potential Good Guy Heros(Until we’re not and it’s too late), and I Don’t Care What the Public Data Shows and How Much Society is Harmed, Don’t Tell Me What I Can Have, How Much of It I Can Have and Where I Can Go With It.
Just for this comment, the issue I want to raise with anyone reading this is:
I agree that role-playing with toy guns can be a healthy outlet, but while parents allowing their children to run around with brightly colored, noisy, foam-dart or water-projecting toys may not be crossing a line –
gun owners certainly are by increasingly modifying, custom-ordering, or home-building PINK HELLO KITTY AR-15s, GLOCK PISTOLS THAT LOOK LIKE NERF GUNS (WITH LOGO), GLOCK PISTOLS THAT LOOK LIKE NINTENDO GUNS (WITH LOGO), AND MANY OTHER FAKE-LOOKING (BUT LETHAL) DESIGNS USING GHOST GUN KITS AND 3D PRINTING THAT BLUR THE LINES BETWEEN REAL AND TOY.
Imagine OK-ing toy gun play and teaching about the dangers of real guns only to have your child live in a world where the two are increasingly difficult to distinguish – only because some of the adults in the room have backed themselves into a corner holding a ????
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
I completely agree with you. I don’t think kids should play with guns that mimic the real thing. My main point is also how we model conflict resolution to kids despite of our strong opinion or biases.
Madison says
I fundamentally disagree with you on so many parts here, but just going to say what a privilege it is to be a parent researching and blogging about the “benefits” of toy gun play. What a privilege it is to be a child and play with a toy gun and not be seen by law enforcement as a threat. Tamir Rice was 12 when he was murdered by police within 2 seconds of police arrival.
Kevin says
Adriane,
Well written article. I appreciate that you took the time to research this topic and share your findings with everyone. Similar to one of the previous replies, I have a long career in the military. I have been a firearms instructor, hunted and used firearms most of my life. I now work as a safety officer in a public school.
I wholeheartedly agree that we as parents (adults) must teach our own kids (as well as any others) about the inherent danger of misusing a gun (or any other tool) incorrectly. We must also educate other adults so their fears to not impede any child’s growth or safety. Allowing children to PLAY is key to their development. So many accurate points have been made in the responses to your article. I will not rehash them. They way I have summed them up is : Be a good person; set a good example for (all) children; educate yourself about the issue; be an involved parent; don’t let your own political agenda or fears negatively affect others; be patient with one another; let kids be kids for as long as they can.
Thank you.
Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) says
Thank you so much for this response and input. **be a good person, set a good example, educate yourself and be involved. yes, yes, yes and yes!