mindfulness for moms
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5 Creative Mindfulness Exercises For Parents In a Time Of Chaos

In this post, you will find creative mindfulness exercises for parents that bring connection and a sense of calm, joy and happiness to the chaos of life. This post contains affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

The biggest struggle I have in being the gentle, kind, calm and connected parent I want to be is that my kids are LOUD!

I’m not talking about occasional shrieking when they get excited or yelling that they are open when playing a game of basketball, but rather, talking and being loud all of the time. I can be a few feet from my son and yet he projects as if I’m across the street. My boys were not born with a volume button.

mom stress

I lied.

They do have a volume knob.

It just goes from 70% to 100% when they are upset or frustrated. It’s in these moments that I need to keep myself calm so I can attune to their needs.

Because I know that in those moments, there is ZERO reason to correct or reason with them if their lid is flipped.

Staying calm when the noise is deafening was so hard for me. I would start to feel like I was trapped in an echoey cave complete with cave kids and no way out.

The key to getting out of that cave is learning how to practice MINDFULNESS!

In order to get out of survival mode, find joy in motherhood, and stay calm enough to make long-lasting connections with my kids, I needed to learn how to be mindful.  

In order to get to this point where we train our brains and bodies to go into relaxation mode when the stress (or noise) is high, we need to know how to bring awareness to our experience.

Over the years, I have found a few creative mindfulness exercises for parents that help reduce the stress in stressful parenting situations.

What is Mindfulness For Parents?

Before I go into the specific exercises, let’s talk about what mindfulness even is.

It is a buzzword so I’m sure you have heard of it a time or two. This may also mean you have some preconceived notions of what it is. I know I did.

What Mindfulness is NOT

Here are a few things that mindfulness for parents is not:

Weird

It does not mean you need to climb to the top of a mountain surrounded by llamas and alpacas, repeating, “Ommmm”. That is a form of meditation. Two separate things.

Against Religion

It’s not against the Christian religion. I avoided anything to do with this word because I thought it was about emptying the mind.

Wrong!

It’s actually the opposite and can be used to bring you closer to God!

Something That Has To Take A Long Time

I’ve heard people say they don’t have time to do a mindfulness practice.

This is silly because being mindful doesn’t have to be this long-drawn-out process. It can be a quick, check-in with how your body feels and what you are thinking kind of thing then move on your merry way to clean the toilets or play with your child. I don’t know about you, but I typically choose to play with my child!

savoring motherhood

What Mindfulness IS

Simply put, mindfulness is the act of becoming aware of your experiences.

That’s it!

Right now, wherever you are, in your bed, in your house, at the park, at a doctor’s office, hopefully not in your car driving…take your attention off of this blog and bring awareness to how your body feels.

How does your face feel? Your hands? Feet? What kind of experience are you having this very second?

That, my friend, is mindfulness!

Noticing what is going on WITHOUT reacting or trying to fix things, or making judgments. 

Work with and direct those thoughts and feelings. This helps us enter a state where we can observe what is happening instead of allowing our emotions to hijack our behavior.

5 Creative Mindfulness Exercises for Parents 

Now, the real fun begins! 

Taking time to check in with your mind and body has so many benefits.

Mindfulness can take a crappy day and turn it into a good one. It can give you the space to think before you speak, connect before you correct and respond instead of react.

Being mindful can help you become the mom or dad you want to be for your children and the husband or wife you want to be for your spouse.

There are many different kinds of mindfulness practices you can incorporate into your daily life.

I am unpacking five creative mindfulness exercises that will help you find joy in parenthood and life, reduce stress, not yell and if you want, become closer to God.

All of these can be taught to your children which in turn can help you stay calm.

BONUS! By signing up for my newsletter, you will receive a Taking Care of MYSELF ebook that helps you take care of yourself so you have more to give. Learn how to be a calm happy, fulfilled parent with an acryonym that’s easy to remember!

1. STOP, Pause (or Pray) then Breathe

 Stop.

Drop your agenda. If nothing is physical and it’s not an actual emergency…

PRAY. 

Then BREATH. Take 3 deep breaths and CHOOSE to calm down. 

mindfulness for moms

2. Use Mantras

Ond day while my son was having a sensory (read: intense) meltdown, repeating mantras in my head totally saved me from matching his emotions. Otherwise, I would have totally lost it.

Because I kept repeating to myself, “He would do well if he could”, I was able to stay regulated long enough to help him calm down (this is called co-regulation).

Here are mantras that can help parents calm down:

  • This is not an emergency.
  • I can handle this.
  • I breathe in calm, I breathe out calm. I breathe in love, I breathe out calm. (Dr. Laura Markham)
  • My child would do well if he or she could (Dr. Ross Greene)
  • Behavior is an unmet need.
  • Behavior is communication.
  • God, I’m safe with you.
  • I have everything I need right now (Abundant Mama)
  • Connection before correction (Dr. Daniel Siegel)
mantras for moms and parents
click to download a full poster!

Every time you are able to calm down, your prefrontal cortex gets stronger and more neural pathways are formed.

You develop what is called, vagal tone.

The nerve that calms your body down, the vagus nerve, gets stronger. Someone with a good vagal tone is more resilient and can return to a sense of calm much faster.

As your vagal tone gets stronger,

  • You can intervene
  • Connect before you correct and 
  • Respond before you react! 

Have you caught onto the underlying benefits of mindfulness yet?

3. Breathe!

Last year, I was sitting with a group of women and my friend mentioned how she thought it was funny that her iwatch kept telling her to breath. She said, “Obviously, I’m breathing. I have to breathe to live.”

 True.

However, there are different ways to breathe. The way the iwatch wants you to breathe to deactivate your stress response.

You can do this RIGHT NOW!

Breath in slowly.

Hold your breath at the top.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 …keep holding 6 – 7

Now blow out all of the air until it’s all gone.

Doesn’t that feel good? I was doing this as I was writing and have decided air is my drug of choice!!! Ha!  

The reason why this feels good is because of a few things:

Your Autonomic Nervous System is made up of the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic nervous system.

The parasympathetic system is what helps you get into a calm state. I envision floating along on a parasail. This is when you can be relaxed, lose weight easier, sleep better and be happier. It’s restorative and gets rid of the stress hormones. You feel safe and can access intuition and insight.

Then we have the sympathetic nervous. When it’s activated, it’s telling our bodies there is an EMERGENCY!! This is when we go into a fight, flight, freeze or faint state and cortisol levels increase.

If we don’t get out of this system, we can gain weight, become sleep deprived, depressed and sad, be defensive, impulsive or completely shut down.

Get This! A relaxation response takes 12 breaths (roughly 2 minutes). However, if you do deep breathing regularly, it can work after 6 breaths!

I’ve had people tell me that breathing doesn’t work. It’s usually because they wait until they are at their boiling point and wanting to shake their child (which I don’t recommend doing that) to breathe! Then yes, it may not seem like breathing works. 

The research is very clear.

Breathing calms down the body. Period. It is also readily available!

window of tolerance for moms

Specific Breathing exercises

  • 5, 7, 8 breathing – Inhale for five counts, hold for seven and blow out a big exhale for eight counts. I don’t usually count, but instead, I just make sure my exhales are longer than my inhales.
  • Box breathing – Breathe in for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. You can use your finger to draw a box or square as you count to four.
  • Scripture breathing – inhale as you recite scripture in your head and then exhale as you finish.
  • Connecting your breath to your thoughts, don’t just notice it.

You can access a deeper level of restfulness and healing by filling your mind with goodness. 

calm mom

When to Practice Breathing

Here are great times to do deep breathing exercises. In fact, since I do my breathing practice while driving, every time I put my car into drive, I automatically start to inhale deeply. My brain has been trained to take nice long deep breaths anytime I’m on the go.

Here are all the spots that work well to practice deep breathing:

  • Driving or riding in the car
  • While rocking a baby or toddler
  • Nursing a baby
  • Waiting for kids while in the car
  • Watching kids play sports from the sidelines at a practice or a game

4. Do a Body Scan

This is something else you can do while reading this post on creative mindfulness exercises.

Bring your attention to each of the following body parts one at a time:

  1. Toes → ball of the foot
  2. Calves → quads
  3. Stomach 
  4. Mind
  5. Heart

If we continue to keep ALL THE JUNK stuffed, that anxiety builds up then later explodes. Alternatively, think about how you feel in every nook and cranny of your body so you can release the tension.

happy mom

5. Savor

Savoring is aiming your attention on positive things in order to create a “bank account” of goodness to draw on in tough times. 

I once heard Dr. Laura Markham of Aha Parenting say, “Happiness is not in our brain’s job description…it’s always on the lookout for danger.” That helped me make sense of why I feel the way I do in so many situations.

When you induce the feelings of gratitude, empathy, and pleasure, you are actually changing the neurotransmitters in your brain to give yourself a positive sense of well-being and a strong sense of safety.

How to savor: attach positive thoughts to each of your senses.

What you see around you – nature, your kids getting along, your house you are blessed to live in, certain colors you enjoy

What you hear – music, a baby’s laugh, the sizzling of food, birds chirping, the leaves rustling

What you smell – your favorite food, essential oils, your hair, perfume, your baby’s sweet skin

How you felt in the past – reminisce on past experiences that were very joyful. Savor through journaling.

What you feel – something soft, your baby’s skin, your clothes, a tree

What you taste – think of the texture, flavor, and temperature

When savoring, it’s important that you choose something you actually like.

It’s confusing to the brain if you force positive thoughts while eating chocolate when you can’t stand the taste. Rather, look, listen, smell, feel and taste what you already enjoy.

Mindfulness Can Change Your Life

Yes, we are sold on a lot of ways to find happiness and ways to change our lives.

Some work and some don’t.

I can tell you from experience that having a mindfulness practice really does make a positive change. The more we bring awareness to our mind and body connection, the better we become at managing our emotions and the words that come out of our mouths.

Freebies for You!

I presented on this topic at my local MOPS chapter. For my talk, I provided my mommy friends with a printable that I wanted to make available to you as well. Click here to download the Mindfulness Handout.

I also have a self-care ebook to help mamas be their best selves! Fill out the form below and it will be sent directly to your email inbox.

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Share the Love

If you find this information helpful in finding calm and happiness, please feel free to share! Use the sharing buttons below.

Much love,

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53 Comments

  1. Being a parent is such a challenge, especially for those of us with spirited children. My son was VERY intense when he was little, and I really could have benefited from some of these techniques back then. He’s a teenager now, which brings its own set of challenges, so I can use these ideas the next time he gives me that teen attitude! 🙂 Thanks for the ideas!

  2. I can relate to the loud boys, I have twin 8-year-old boys and 10-month-old baby girl. I do the breathing exercise a lot, it really helps to get my head out of that panic mode of too much is happening. Focusing on my breath also helps me be aware of my body during that moment, how everything is tense and I just need to envision that tension releasing through my fingertips, toes, and head. Definitely going to use the Mommy Mantras especially the “My child would do well if he or she could”!

  3. I’ll have to try some of these when I get frazzled from my crazy kids. I’d rather be on the mountain with the llamas and alpacas right about now though!

  4. I love this because it is such a simple concept, but sometimes we never slow down to practice. This will help me so much. My son is one, and we have daily meltdowns. I want to try some of these exercises as we go throughout our day today.

  5. First, I just want you to know that I love your entire the blog. I feel like you have the same parenting mindset as I do. Secondly I needed this so much now. Well done post

  6. These are great ideas and I definitely would do better to exercise them. I get way too frustrated with my kid way too fast. Thanks for the great ideas!

  7. What an awesome post, this is such a great idea to share with other moms. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the chaos that is OUR CHILDREN. Those mantras are amazing as well!

  8. My greatest worry for the next four weeks that schools are closed and the kids are home with me is really that I may keep losing my temper because I am super impatient.
    This post is so timely and useful to me.
    Love those mantras!
    Saving this!

  9. Thanks for your tips! These days are tough for many parents, and we need to give them more understanding and patience. IT is tough to raise the future.

  10. As always Adriane, you hit it out of the park! I love how well you explain things and how you use graphics to make tired mommas like me understand! My little is only 9 months old, but there have been a few times when I really needed to step away and calm down (mostly when he’s REFUSING to sleep!), and these are wonderful suggestions on exercises to help!

  11. This was just such a joy reading! I’m glad you could see the non-religious meaning and try it for yourself! Mindfulness is a game-changing practice on your journey inwards 🙂

  12. I must share this post with my sister. We need all the tips to help us during this time of madness that we are all living.

  13. These exercises are great for one with kids. Btw, these exercises seems to be very helpful for those parents. Love reading!

  14. Great tips! Breathe is very important when it comes to dealing with kids.. sometimes we always forget to breathe. Box breathing is a new thing for me I would love to try it as soon as possible.

  15. Fantastic entry! I am not a parent myself, but I am currently having to live WITH my parents due to the COVID-19 situation and that comes with its own stressful challenges. I am finding mindfulness to be an absolute life saver and has saved me from a few outbursts I know I would later regret. So thank you for this wonderful advice! Dharma xX

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