Organization Archives - Raising Kids With Purpose

November 16, 2024 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 6 Comments

The Busy Mom’s Guide: 5 Simple Systems for Managing Kids, Home, and Work

_{Inside: Stop feeling overwhelmed as a mom! Below you’ll find what I found to be the best systems for busy moms. This post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to purchase through my links, at no cost to you.}

Moms are busy.

The “workload” often increases with each beautiful bundle you bring into the world. Additionally, each of those humans can bring his or her own unique set of needs, talents, and wants. Again, moms are busy.

My boys are all neurodivergent meaning they have additional developmental needs than typical children. As I meet parents worldwide, I see that the needs list is getting longer for kids. It may be because we know much more about how brains develop or our world contains stuff that developing brains don’t like.

All these “extras” add to a mama’s schedule and mental load!

Looking at my life, each of my boys is in a different school environment because the one-size-fits-all education system we have in America didn’t work for them. This means we have three different school schedules, four different locations for school, and additional extracurricular activities such as sports, private classes, and co-ops. We even have a “no-more-than-one-sport-per-kid-per-season-no-club-sports” rule but activities and sports still fill up the calendar.

To top it off, I work to help provide for our family. Because of this, I found myself constantly drowning in the endless to-do lists and competing priorities.

Between managing my boys’ needs, running this blog, and trying to maintain a clean-ish house, let alone making sure I was meeting my own needs, I felt like I was constantly dropping balls.

Have you been here?

You get in bed at night and your mind is racing with all the things you forgot to do and all the things you need to remember for the next day.
You’re constantly apologizing for missed deadlines or forgotten commitments because there’s just so much to keep track of.
You haven’t taken your kids to the dentist in over a year because you had to cancel the appointment they automatically scheduled for you and you just haven’t made the time to call and schedule the dang thing?

Or is it just me?

Whether you’re juggling a child with special needs, running a business from your kitchen table, or simply trying to keep up with the endless demands of modern motherhood, the overwhelm is real. Sometimes it feels like we’re expected to do it all, be it all, and somehow look like a supermodel while doing it all. Thanks, social media!

That’s why discovering Systemize Your Life by Chelsi Jo was such a game-changer!

Systemize Your Life isn’t just another “get organized” program. Believe me, I have read so many productivity and organization books, have read blogs about it, and listened to the latest organization tips. I applied a lot of what I learned and still felt like something was missing.

I figured it out! I didn’t need another tool, I needed to have a paradigm shift about time; how I spend it and a simplified way to implement this new mindset.

I found Chelsi Jo while searching for podcasts on how to manage my chaotic life. I scrolled back to the very beginning of her podcast and listened to these episodes:

I then downloaded her freebie, Done For You Time Blocks, (click here and scroll down to download the freebie) from her website on how to set up a productive week and immediately felt a difference in how productive I felt. In turn, my overall mental health felt better as well.

I finally found someone who understood me and my busy life. Chelsi understands that moms, especially moms running businesses, need more than just pretty planners and motivational quotes. We need real, practical systems that work with our complex lives, not against them.

Chelsi Jo’s program is the first I’ve found that has FLEXIBILITY built in and reminds you that life is messy. I never have two days that are the same. Chelsi completely gets that because she is a busy mom, too. She has found a way to systemize even that!

In this post, I want to share how implementing Systemize Your Life has transformed my daily life from overwhelming to manageable (most days, anyway!). Because you deserve to feel in control, capable, and present – both for your family and dreams.

When “Just Get Organized” Isn’t Enough

You know you’re overwhelmed when you find yourself standing in the grocery store, staring at your list but not really seeing it. Or your kid walk into your office to ask for breakfast, and you keep saying, give me a second, until finally, you feel so stressed out that you can’t seem to get even one simple task done before being needed for one. more. thing.

How Overwhelm Can Show Up

The Mental Load Never Sleeps: As you get into bed, you suddenly remember you need to order supplies for your son’s upcoming science lab. You pick up your phone and order it quickly on Amazon. You start to fall asleep then you sit up, wondering if you responded to that important email. Your brain refuses to shut off because it’s trying to hold onto every detail.
Decision Fatigue Hits Hard: Standing in front of your closet for 15 minutes because choosing an outfit feels impossible. Even small decisions like what to make for dinner become overwhelming because you’ve already made 1,000 decisions about everyone else’s needs today.
The Productivity Paradox: Having 15 browser tabs open with half-finished tasks, jumping between them all day, but somehow getting nothing done. You’re busy all day long but can’t point to what you actually accomplished.
The Guilt Spiral: Feeling like you’re failing at everything because you’re trying to do everything. Missing a deadline because your child had a meltdown. Ordering Cafe Rio (again) because you didn’t have time to meal plan. The guilt piles up with each “dropped ball.”

Why Traditional Advice Doesn’t Work

When well-meaning people advise you to “just get organized” or “plan, prioritize, schedule, and execute tasks”, they don’t understand a mother’s reality. As moms, especially those of us parenting children with additional needs while working, we experience:

Unpredictable Schedules: Your perfectly planned day can be derailed by a sensory meltdown, a sick child, or an urgent appointment. Traditional time-blocking systems don’t account for real life with kids.
Complex Family Needs: Traditional organizing advice assumes you’re only managing your own schedule. They don’t consider coordinating multiple school drop-offs, monitoring multiple schedules, or managing little people’s developmental and sensory needs throughout the day.
The Mental Load: Standard productivity tips don’t address the invisible work of motherhood – remembering everyone’s preferences, monitoring supplies, coordinating appointments, and maintaining the household’s emotional climate all the while working on your own stuff so you can co-regulate.
Limited Time Blocks: Business advice often assumes you have long, uninterrupted hours to work. But when you’re fitting work between kid requests, homeschool, school pickups, or whatever other tasks you have to do with your mom hat on. This means you need a different approach.

This is why those beautiful bullet journals and standard planning systems often collect dust in our desks. They’re designed for people with predictable schedules and fewer variables to juggle. As moms running businesses while managing complex family needs, we need something different – something that bends and flexes with our unique challenges while still providing the structure we desperately need.

The Life-Changing Impact of the Right Systems

Having systems in your life decreases so much unnecessary stress. Having systems goes much deeper than just having a tidy space – it’s about creating a foundation that supports your family’s well-being and allows you to show up as the mom you want to be.

Mental Health Benefits

When I first implemented proper systems in our home, the most surprising change wasn’t in our schedules or our space – it was in my mind. Here are ways having systems in place that lead to more productivity can benefit you mentally:

Decreased Stress: Instead of carrying every detail in your head, reliable systems become your external brain. No more waking up in a panic wondering if I forgot something important.
Reduced Decision Fatigue: With clear routines and systems in place, you don’t need to make decisions about every little thing. You can put a lot of what you do on “auto-pilot”. This frees up mental energy for what really matters – connecting with your kids, growing in your marriage and work, and taking care of yourself.
Decreased Anxiety: Knowing that important tasks are tracked and managed by systems rather than your stressed brain dramatically reduces daily anxiety.
Present-Moment Living: When systems handle the background tasks, you can be present with your family and yourself instead of constantly planning the next thing in your head.

Read Next: 4 Easy Steps for Teaching Life Skills to Kids

Building a Strong Family Culture Through Systems

The beauty of well-designed systems is how they shape your family’s daily life and long-term values:

Shared Expectations: When everyone knows what happens and when it creates a sense of security and belonging. From morning to bedtime routines, these predictable patterns become the heartbeat of your family life.
Quality Time Protection: Systems help carve out and protect dedicated family time. When you completely separate work from home tasks, you can fully engage in family activities without guilt.
Values in Action: Your systems can reflect and reinforce your family values. Whether it’s regular volunteer activities, family meetings, or dedicated one-on-one time with each child, systems help you live out what matters most.

Bonus! Click these links to download a Free Quality Time Printable or the Family Values Toolkit!

The Benefits of Predictability for Kids

As a mom of three neurodivergent boys, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative the right systems can be for children:

Emotional Security: Children thrive when they know what to expect. Predictable routines create a sense of safety and control in their world.
Reduced Anxiety: When kids can anticipate what comes next, they’re less likely to feel anxious or overwhelmed by transitions.
Independence Growth: Clear systems help children develop autonomy as they learn to follow routines independently.
Sensory Management: Regular routines help children prepare for and process sensory experiences throughout their day.
Transition Support: Predictable systems make transitions smoother, reducing meltdowns and resistance.
Self-Regulation Tools: Built-in rhythms and routines support better emotional regulation and coping skills.

The Ripple Effect of Good Systems

When you have the right systems in place, something magical happens:

Your kids feel more secure and behave better
You have more energy for meaningful activities
Your business runs more smoothly
Your home feels more peaceful
Your family connections grow stronger

The key is finding systems that flex with your family’s unique needs while providing enough structure to keep everyone grounded. It’s not about rigid schedules or perfect execution – it’s about creating a framework that supports your family’s well-being while helping you achieve your personal and professional goals.

5 Simple Systems for Managing Kids, Home, and Business

When I discovered Chelsi Jo’s Systemize Your Life framework, it was like someone finally understood the unique challenges of being a mom with big dreams.

Her approach isn’t about perfect schedules or unrealistic schedules – it’s about creating sustainable systems that really work for busy moms. Here are the core systems that I have been implementing and are transforming my daily life:

1. Five Time-Block Method

Rather than trying to multitask everything (which never worked!), Chelsi taught me to create focused blocks for five parts of my day. This was much simpler to follow than creating inconsistent blocks like I tried in the past.

Morning Block – This is my “me time” before anyone in the house wakes up. I was already walking the dogs almost every morning but having a dedicated block ensures I start my day with self-care. My morning block includes getting dressed, walking the dogs, going to the gym for a 30-45-minute workout, and getting back to my house to read a devotion before getting the kids ready for school.
AM Block – This includes time WITH my kids as they are getting ready for the day. This block ends once my kids are at all the different schools that fit their individual needs.
Work Block – This is dedicated time where I GET TO WORK! I have a homeschooler, so he is home a few days of the week when I have my work block so I can’t completely separate work from home but we figured out a system that works for us.
PM Block – This has been the most important part of my day to get right. It includes everything we do after the kids are done with school for the day. Before implementing Systemize Your Life, I wasn’t starting dinner until close to 6 or 6:30 pm delaying the whole rest of the night and setting us up for disaster the next morning. Now, I have a solidified time of 4:30 pm to start dinner so we can have family time before starting the bedtime routine.
Evening Routing Block – Lastly, this is when my husband and I hang out and I get myself ready for bed. I wash my face, brush my teeth, and read something for my soul before closing my eyes for the night.

I have assigned colors to each block so I highlight them every week in my paper planner and because sometimes I need extra help, I created laminated sheets for each of my blocks using the same colors!

2. Routine Stacks

I implemented “habit-stacking” before (and even wrote about it) but routine stacking was a new concept to me. It’s essentially stacking up the habits and labeling them so it’s a no-brainer of what you need to do and when.

Chelsi says, “Routine stacking is all about making the most of your day by layering complementary tasks together.” “Instead of jumping from task to task, routine stacking allows you to seamlessly transition between activities that fit naturally together, making your day flow more smoothly.”

I could NOT remember my routine stacks at first so this is where my laminated sheets came in handy.

3. Hybrid Planner Method

One of the most revolutionary things I learned from Chelsi was her Hybrid Planner method. As someone managing multiple school and class schedules, business tasks, and family needs, this system was a game-changer.

I have always loved a paper planner, but I don’t want to carry it around with me everywhere I go. Google Calendar is great, but there’s something special about writing down what I have planned for the week, my family to-do list, and what I’m thankful for. Chelsi to the rescue, again! She has figured out a way where I can still get my writing fix which is much better for my mental health while also integrating a digital calendar so I don’t miss appointments.

I’ve taken what she’s taught me and have broken it down like this:

Digital Planning

My Google Calendar acts as my go-to appointment and schedule tracker. It’s color-coded for each family member. This is what I put on it:

All appointments and school drop off’s
Recurring events and reminders
Multiple calendars shared with different “stakeholders”
Business meetings and deadlines

Paper Planning

I use a physical planner for a weekly overview:

Daily top priorities
Gratitude practice
Self-care tracking
Menu planning
Cleaning schedule
Scheduled work time
Routine Stacks
Meal Prep time

4. The Weekend Reset

This weekly ritual helps set up the whole family for a successful week no matter how busy we are. Here are the things I’m resetting every Saturday and Sunday:

Google Calendar – I review it for the upcoming week and make sure I have all drop-off and pick-up times scheduled.
Light cleaning and tidying – This is something I’m working on getting better at. I try to at least clean the kitchen. The boys help with floors, bathrooms, and surfaces.
Reviewing the week ahead – I grab my weekly planner and plan out my time blocks for the week then I write down all my fundamental needs and routine stacks.
Meal Prep – I plan my meals using a Google Sheet I’ve had for years! I have 15+ meal plans that I rotate about every month. I pull this up on Sunday mornings. I either order my groceries online or I go to Sprouts before my kids wake up and shop in person. When I get home, the whole family helps by cleaning out the fridge and stocking it for the upcoming week.
Laundry – I can usually get all of our laundry done on Saturday. The boys help fold and put away their clothes which is a huge time-saver! If I do it every week, we average only 2-3 loads. I’m working on what to do after a big camping trip or when it piles up!
Homeschool Prep – We use Alveary and LOVE it but there is a lot of prep that goes into it so I take some time every weekend to make sure my son has everything he needs to complete his lessons with his private teacher.

Exciting news! If you’re interested in learning more about Alveary and signing up for the first time, use this link for $25 off!

5. Systems for Business

Last but not least, if you are a working mom, Chelsi even has systems that will rock your work life. I am still diving into all of her core workflows. She teaches you how to put your weekly, daily, and monthly tasks into a system so you know exactly what to do and when. There are also systems for events, projects, and ways to hit those quarterly and yearly goals. I could have used this even when I wasn’t running my own business and working for a company.

If you have your home systems in order but are looking for more help with your business life, you can enroll in Systemize Your Business here.

What Makes These Systems Different

What I love about Chelsi’s approach is that it’s:

Flexible: Systems bend to fit your life, not the other way around
Realistic: Designed for real moms with real challenges
Scalable: It can be simplified or expanded based on your season of life
Family-Centered: Includes everyone’s needs and contributions
Growth-Oriented: Supports both family life and business goals

Implementation Tips I’ve Learned

Through trial and error, I’ve discovered that it’s okay if it takes me a while to get a system working well. I’ve literally put one foot in the other.

It’s cool to look back a few months when I joined Systemize To Scale to see how far I’ve come. It felt so hard at first, but now it’s a part of my daily life.

Getting dinner started at 4:30pm has been the biggest game-changer!

I’ve also learned that every day will be different and it’s okay to pivot. The biggest takeaway is to be patient and remember there’s a learning curve. However, if you stick with it, Chelsi’s systems WORK! I wish I would have found her earlier.

How to Stop the Overwhelm

Your version of “organized” might look different from mine, and that’s exactly as it should be. The goal isn’t to create an Instagram-perfect life – it’s to build systems that support your unique family’s needs and your dreams.

If you’re looking to transform your day-to-day and stop feeling so overwhelmed as a busy mom, you can start any of Chelsi’s courses now! I’m in Systemize Your Life because I wanted extra support as I grow my parent coaching business, but she has stand-alone courses for home and work!

How to Sign Up for Chelsi Jo’s Courses:

To see similar transformations in your life and productivity, you can find each of Chelsi’s courses below. You can sign up at any time.

During the time I’m writing this post, I am currently enrolled in Systemize to Scale and it’s worth every penny! I’ve received so much support, encouragement, and specific advice on how to grow my business. I highly recommend following Chelsi’s systems because you deserve to feel capable, calm, and in control – even in the beautiful chaos of raising your unique and wonderful family.

As always, email me at adriane@raisingkidswithpurpose.com if you have any questions!

August 19, 2020 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 30 Comments

Practical Daily Schedules For Kids That Make Life Easier

Inside: Kids thrive when they have a routine and predictability in their day. Here are daily schedules for kids to use for being at home when school is in session or for a homeschool daily schedule.

With a schedule and routine, comes calm.

At least this is what I have found to be true in my own home as well as what I’ve come across in the research.

Having daily schedules for kids doesn’t just bring calm, but it also helps kids with time management skills, focus, and attention skills, and feel a sense of stability and safety amongst a slew of other things I break down in this “routines for kids” post.

When the brain feels safe, it can grow and change in a healthy and positive way.

According to an article on Melbourne Child Psychology, “In what some researchers have described as an ‘epidemic of anxiety’, the predictability and familiarity that comes with routine offer the perfect ‘safe space’ that kids need.”

This post may contain affiliate links. I will make a small commission if you make a purchase through one of these links, at no extra cost to you. See my disclosure policy here.

I know there are some naysayers out there who have even gone to the lengths to create memes about how routine charts are so overrated.

This simply is not true.

We know from years and years of research and many studies on the topic, that having daily schedules for kids is extremely beneficial.

This is an excerpt from the abstract for the research document titled, “The Importance of Creating Habits and Routine,” by Katherine Arlinghaus and Craig Johnston:

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away. This popular expression indicates that apples are good for one’s health, and highlights the importance of routinely eating them. Often the message individuals take away from the apple-a-day health advice is to eat more apples. However, perhaps the more important take away message is to eat nutritious foods regularly. The term lifestyle change inherently means that changes are made such that they can be followed for the lifetime of an individual. Implementation of a lifestyle change implies that a routine is followed and habits are formed. A healthy lifestyle includes habitual consumption of nutritious foods, regular physical activity, and consistent sleep.”

Have a I convinced you yet? *wink wink*

Daily Schedules For Kids May Feel Too Hard To Implement

For some people, implementing a daily routine comes naturally.

However, for many, it feels daunting.

It may feel like it’s just way too much work so they don’t even try. If you fall into the latter group, I want to give you hope.

Setting up and keeping a daily schedule for kids doesn’t have to be hard AT ALL…with the right tools. Sooo guess what?! I am providing you the very tools you need in this post.

At the beginning of summer, I wrote about the benefits of routines and schedules as kids have a lot more unstructured time out of school. The daily schedules were such a big hit that I decided to make some slight changes so you can use them for your everyday life. Also, many schools are not reopening this Fall, so you can utilize what works best for the situation you are in.

PSSST: Are you trying to figure out how to work from home WHILE homeschooling or while your kids are doing distance learning? I’ve been hearing from a lot of working parent friends that it’s not going well. Check out this course, “Work From Home With Kids Who Thrive” by Kathryn Haydon of Sparkitivity.

She gives you ALL THE TOOLS you need to keep your sanity, help your kids learn all while staying productive in your job. Enter the code: THRIVE25 for 25% off!

sparkitivity work from home with kids who thrive

Daily Schedules For Kids

I love all the different ways you can develop and maintain a daily routine. Some families prefer a block schedule where they chunk their day into the same themed blocks every day. For others, a daily checklist works better.

The key is to discuss what your kids want their days to look like. Get their input! A great time to do this is during Family Meetings. It may take some trial and error, but remember, do what WORKS for you!

In fact, we have a schedule as part of our Family Meeting Agenda (my most popular printable that you can grab here for free when you sign up for the Raising Kids With Purpose Newsletter).

We first go over rules or other topics that came up during the week that we want to change or expand on. Then we go over our weekly schedule. Within our schedule are our built-in daily routines which include the same tasks for the morning, after school, and bedtime.

Not only are we bringing more calm to all of our lives, we’re spending less mental energy on things we do every day. There sure is power in creating habits!

Grab Your Free Daily Schedules for Kids when you subscribe to the Raising Kids With Purpose Newsletter

Daily Schedules For Kids – Block Style

This kind of schedule and routine is a big hit for many families. The reason is that there is flexibility paired with predictability. It sure helps me be more productive when I chunk my days into sections. I mean, schools have been doing this for eons so it’s about time we parents caught on!

I created a blank schedule and also one filled in with this basic block schedule for kids who are in school during a big chunk of the day:

free download daily block schedule school

8:00am – 9:00am (Block 1): MORNING ROUTINE – Get dressed, eat, brush teeth, get ready for the day
9:00am – 2:00pm (Block 2): SCHOOL
2:00pm – 4:00pm (Block 4:): ENERGY BUSTER – Go somewhere to play, jump, run, and have fun!
4:30pm – 6:00pm (Block 5): DINNER – Prepare and eat dinner then clean up after dinner.
6:00pm – 8:00pm (Block 6): BEDTIME ROUTINE – Hang out, read, and prepare for bedtime.

Lastly, here is a block schedule for families with kids who are not yet in school or have more flexibility because of homeschooling:

7:00am – 9:00am (Block 1): MORNING ROUTINE – Get dressed, eat, brush teeth, get ready for the day
9:00am – 12:00pm (Block 2): FUN ACTIVITY – Go somewhere fun or plan something to do at home on days you don’t feel like going anywhere.
12:00pm – 1:00pm (Block 3): LUNCH & CLEAN – Eat and clean up the kitchen.
1:00pm – 4:00pm (Block 4:): QUIET TIME – Nap, rest, quiet or room time.
4:00pm – 6:00pm (Block 5): DINNER – Prepare and eat dinner then clean up after dinner.
6:00pm – 8:00pm (Block 6): BEDTIME ROUTINE – Hang out, read, and prepare for bedtime.

Daily Checklist For Kids

These types of daily schedules for kids are especially beneficial for kids ages 10 and up. They may not want to follow a specific routine, but we parents want to make sure their brains and bodies are getting all they need in a day.

If you have a pre-teen or teenager who is doing distance learning on a computer all day or is drawn to wanting to only be glued to a screen, this checklist should help! It can even be used to be completed BEFORE playing video games or getting on a device.

Here are the items that they should complete every single day:

Personal Care | Basic hygiene
Contributions | Chores, helping a sibling, help prepare meals
Learning | Some kind of school such as homeschooling, unschooling, going to a school building or staying at home on a computer
Mind Care | Mindfulness, gratitude practice, breathing exercises
Exercise | MOVE!
Connection | Hang with family or friends, talk on the phone, FaceTime
PLAY! | Have some kind of fun

Daily To-Do Schedule

Again, this is a great kind of schedule for a child who is 10 years old or older and is developing more advanced time management skills.

This is what I personally use to go over my day each morning. We have our weekly schedule and daily routines and then I have my personal daily “To Do” sheet that I fill out so I don’t forget any appointments or scheduled events. It just helps me plan my day before it starts.

Basic Weekly Schedule

This schedule came in handy over the summer since we didn’t really know what we were going to do every day especially with so many places closed.

This is very simple to use. I suggest laminating it so you can write with a dry-erase marker to reuse over and over again.

At the beginning of the week, you would simply write what you have going on for the week. With school being in session, the schedule may remain the same most weeks with a few events or activities to fill in as they come up.

Homeschool Daily Schedule

Lastly, I wanted to share with you what we used for our daily homeschool schedule when we had stay-at-home orders.

This homeschool schedule can be used for any kind of school at home. Our kids go to a school called Prenda so we took their basic structure and adapted it to homeschool.

Having a schedule like this gave us a framework to follow. This can work well if you are teaching or are using an online program or doing distance learning.

I also created a homeschool daily schedule for regular homeschooling.

Here are instructions on how to use this daily homeschool schedule:

Print out each week (or print once and laminate so you can reuse it!)
Write down what subjects, tasks, and activities you are doing for each hour
Your kids, check off when they complete it for the day!

I know one of the attractive qualities of homeschooling is all the flexibility you can have in your day. However, as mentioned above and in this post about summer schedules and this post about morning and evening routines, having a schedule will increase your child’s learning experience.

Get Your Free Daily Schedules for Kids Here

You can all these daily schedules for kids and home-school daily routine charts for free when you sign up for the Raising Kids With Purpose Newsletter. Fill out the form below or click on the image.

What Kind of Schedule Do You Use?

What kind of schedule or routine does your family follow? I would love to know so I can create more helpful tools!

Also, please share this post with parents friends, and families!

June 27, 2020 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 12 Comments

4 Easy Steps for Teaching Life Skills to Kids

Inside: Teaching kids life skills is imperative for raising self-sufficient, independent, self-reliant adults. Here are four simple steps to take in teaching a new skill to kids. Scroll to the bottom for a free life skills by age printable!

At the start of kindergarten and second grade for my two little guys, our morning routine looked similar to that of The Jetsons except for my husband and I were the machines.

We unintentionally got into the habit of waking them, dressing the younger kiddo, making breakfast, packing their book bags, and walking them to the bathroom. I’m almost embarrassed to say we even PUT THEIR SHOES ON while they did nothing.

teaching kids life skills such as cutting fruits and veggies

This post may contain affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

Yep, there it is. We weren’t allowing them to have any autonomy whatsoever.

It’s not because we didn’t think they were capable. Oh, our oldest did all of those things on his own starting in Kindergarten. It’s because it was:

Easier
Faster
Involved no power struggles
and did I mention easier AND faster?

Now, with the implementation of routines, they do all of those things at only a year older.

READ MORE >> Routines for Kids: Why They Work & How to Create Your Own

When I tell people our third grader (read: nine-year-old) makes his own hot breakfast, including eggs, French toast, and pancakes, I get a lot of surprised looks, which are followed up with a lot of questioning.

Recently, I was talking with a mom who told me they just couldn’t trust their son because he can be impulsive. My son, too! I was able to share with her a four-step process to teach life skills that I break down below which I got from Julie Lythcott-Haims. author of “How To Raise An Adult.”

Life skills matter. I love what Caitlin Van Wyk has to say about why life skills matter for kids on Parent From Heart. She explains how life skills develop resiliency in kids. It helps them pick themselves up when life happens and things don’t always go as planned. Also, it helps kids develop many more traits and interpersonal skills such as regulating emotions, learning how to make responsible choices, critically solving problems, and more.

Four Steps For Teaching A New Skill To Kids

Learning new life skills can be exciting and rewarding for a child. It leads to autonomy which creates competence and self-confidence. Say that ten times fast.

mom teaching boy life skills of packing lunch and cutting fruit

I came across a very interesting study done by the online security company, AVG that found 47% of small children were able to navigate a smartphone but couldn’t do basic life skills like tying their shoes. Also, they referenced learning to ride a bike or swim unaided.

This hit me hard in the chest because it took us forever to teach our middle child how to tie his shoes since he didn’t need that skill. Thank you Under Armour Alternative Lace Sneaker 😉.

It’s not about needing to but the feeling of confidence in being able to do something on your own is what we are missing.

I have clear memories when I was five years old being able to tie my shoes for the very first time. As those loops came and STAYED together, I had an overwhelming exciting feeling. The feeling of competence.

We robbed our son of that because it was just easier to buy Velcro shoes. When we finally did teach him, we ended up using this video from Understood.org if you’re in the same boat of needing to teach your own child.

Consider These Things When Teaching New Life Skills To Kids

Your Child’s Readiness

Keep in mind your child’s personality, age, coordination, and physical ability.

The Time To Teach

Try to avoid times when your child is not ready to learn such as when he or she is hungry or tired. You may also want to eliminate any distractions.

The Difficulty Level

Consider how difficult or easy the skill is and make sure it’s developmentally appropriate. Teaching a two-year-old how to tie his shoes may just result in a lot of frustration because he or she probably doesn’t have the motor skills to do that skill yet.

Pssst: You can figure out what life skills kids typically can do by age group in this free Life Skills by Age Printable that you will get when you sign up for my newsletter.

Take As Much Time As Needed

Some kids may be on step one for one day, step two for multiple months, and step three for a little while longer before getting to full independence. Don’t feel like you need to rush it or do it all in one sitting.

I have been on step three with one of my boys teaching him how to pack for camping for like two years now. One day, he’ll fully pack on his own!

Now if it’s something like folding clothes, that’s a zip-through-the-process kind of task for most kids five and older. Allow your kid to feel confident enough to complete the task before you remove yourself from the process.

Give Encouragement

Focus on praising life skills or pointing out what they are learning. Try to avoid “personality praise” which is using labels like “smart kid” or “rock star”. Instead, praise the skill he or she learned and the effort it took to complete it.

Make the Experience POSITIVE

Focus on what they are doing right, not what they are doing wrong. They will continue to improve with time.

Find a Developmentally Appropriate Way of Teaching

There may be a more fun way of doing a skill or a way that allows doing something usually older kids do. For example, just this morning, my sister-in-law sent me a video of her FIVE-year-old making pancakes all by herself. She first sprayed the pan and then had a squeezy bottle from Dollar Tree of pancake batter that she squeezed onto the pan. GENIUS!

Give Your Child Time to Practice

Like with anything, practice makes perfect, right? Well, perfection isn’t quite the result we’re looking for but I know you get me.

READ NEXT: Why praise doesn’t work to motivate kids and what to do instead

For the cooking hot breakfast skill, we did steps 1-3 all in one day. It only took a day or so before my son was doing it completely on his own. We do still supervise while he’s turning on and off the stove, but that’s because we like our house and prefer it doesn’t burn down.

4 steps for teaching a child new life skills graphic

A quick disclaimer about the photos listed for each step below:

When originally writing this post, I picked a skill to teach. We decided to blow a bubble because gum is fun. After multiple tries, we realized it’s kind of hard to blow a bubble with no two front teeth.

Whoops!

I envisioned him with this huge bubble beaming with pride. Instead, he shed a few tears, got frustrated but decided he’ll try again when his teeth come in. It’s all part of the process, right?

And seeing that this is being updated a year and a half after, he can now blow a bubble! We kept working on each step until he got it.

Now onward with the steps!!! (Totally said with my chest sticking out and my right arm up in the sky😂)!

Step 1: Your Child Learns From You

There are two different approaches you can take for this step:

Take whichever task or skill you want your child to do such as clean the sinks, get dressed, or make hot breakfast, and show her how to do it.

Give verbal instructions. It helps to get on your child’s level and make sure you have his or her undivided attention. Use a calm voice with words she can understand to give clear instructions. You can even make a poster or write the instructions down.
Show or model the skill. This tends to be more effective and successful. Instead of just telling your child how to do something, show him or her! Move at a slow pace to ensure all the steps are shown clearly.

Step 2: You Do The Task WITH Your Child

Now that your child knows what and how to do the skill, it’s now time to do it together. Keep in mind he or she is learning so take it at the pace they need.

While I was teaching my son how to make eggs, we each did a different part of the task as he was continuously watching what he didn’t know how to do yet.

Step 3: You Watch Your Child

This one is easy to skip but it’s important that you don’t. Our kids need reassurance that we are there for support. They also need to know you are on their team.

This is a great way to build that self-confidence so your child is affirmed in knowing he can accomplish (big or small) things without you.

My son was so proud when he cracked that egg and no shell pieces were floating in the bowl. He kept looking at me as he turned on the stove to ensure he was doing it correctly. I was there to be his cheerleader and to keep him safe.

Step 4: I-N-D-E-P-E-N-C-E

You know what I mean? (Just in case you didn’t get that, it’s a song!)

The final step is getting your kids to do the new skill on their own. Your kids need to feel agency and be intrinsically motivated. They will feel a sense of relief to not have you breathing down their necks with criticism or not allowing them to do things on their own.

Why Kids Need Independence

Do you remember why my husband and I did everything for our kids? It’s because it felt easy. But these reasons why independence is so important help remind me that it really isn’t making anything easy to achieve our goal of raising adults.

Here are the reasons why it’s so important to get to step 4:

It teaches self-discipline
Kids feel self-worth and have greater self-esteem
It allows kids to experience failure and more importantly resiliency skills
And lastly, it teaches kids to make their own choices in what they want and like to do

Take a Class

One other way that kids can acquire new skills quickly is through taking classes. Check into your local library or community center for life skills classes such as cooking.

Here are a few classes and subscription boxes I’ve come across that your kids may love to learn a new skill!

UCode – Online coding classes such as animation and Python
Creative Bug – Online art classes
Epic Soccer Training – Online classes to teach you how to be a stellar soccer player
Read Music Notes for Children – Learn how to read music
Raddish Kids – Cooking subscription boxes for kids
Piano For All – Online piano classes
Little Passports – themed subscription boxes for kids
Kiwi Crate – STEM subscription boxes for kids
For Purpose Kids – Kindness kits for kids

Life Skills By Age

For kicks, I created A “Life Skills by Age” Guide. It’s super helpful to realize where we are ahead of the curve or a little behind on teaching our kids skills that will benefit them into adulthood.

What new skills have you been teaching your kids?

Originally published on January 29, 2019; updated on October 23, 2024

May 27, 2020 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 8 Comments

Picking the Best Summer Schedule for Kids | 8 Free Printables

Inside: Learn how to have a stress-free summer with these summer schedules and routines for kids. Don’t forget to scroll to the bottom to download your free printables!

It’s that time of year that every kid loves, SUMMER!

Although the end of school looked drastically different this year, it was still school and learning had to get done. With summer, kids can let loose and be kids. Play all day with no cares in the world.

But what happens when there are no plans or schedules?

Siblings fight more, unwanted behaviors rise, the whining is on a nonstop loop, sleep starts to dwindle and life just doesn’t feel so carefree and full of summer fun anymore.

The reason this happens is that kids thrive on routines. They need to know what’s next and it helps if they have something to look forward to. Children also feel safe and secure when their lives are predictable.

Also having some kind of plan to your week helps create deeper longlasting memories. Since we live in a very hot place, we need to have things to do and places to go so we’re not trapped inside for three months straight. We can be outdoors as long as water is involved because well, 110+ degrees.

This post may contain affiliate links. I will make a small commission if you make a purchase through one of these links, at no extra cost to you. See my disclosure policy here.

The Importance of A Summer Schedule for Kids

Although we don’t want to overpack our kids’ schedules, knowing what to do in summer vacation with some kind of routine is incredibly beneficial.

Developmental research shows that routines decrease stress which then leads to better behavior and increased happiness.

Also, when kids know what is next in their day, many of the tasks become habits. And habits require less mental energy. It’s like putting the brain on auto-pilot to preserve energy in order to complete complicated tasks that require more intellect or brainpower.

Giving kids healthy and reasonable expectations encourages healthy habits that lead to optimal brain growth.

Flexibility is also important within the routines which is why having a schedule that has slight changes each day or week is ideal.

Lastly, if kids are used to a daily routine, disrupting this can cause even more stress. Remember, the more stress we’re adding to our kids’ brains, the more unwanted behaviors we are bound to see.

Want to print our free morning and evening routine chart? Just sign up here, get them delivered to your inbox, download, and print! From time to time we might send you other stuff we think you’ll enjoy!

How to Implement a Summer Schedule and Routine

What exactly is the difference between a schedule and a routine?

Routines are tasks or activities that are done without planning because they recur daily. Whereas, a schedule includes activities, tasks, or events that are planned out and typically written down.

For a stress-free fun summer with kids, I think both are important to have. A routine that includes tasks in the same order every day in addition to scheduled activities or events.

There are many different ways you can implement a summer schedule for kids.

Instead of providing you with one kind of schedule or routine, I have made many different styles and types that you can fully customize. You have the option to pick what schedules will work best for your family! Click here to sign up and get them delivered to your inbox!

How to Pick a Summer Schedule and Routine

First, when picking what your summer will look like, make sure you involve your kids in the process!

Plan it during a Family Meeting! The more skin your kids have in the game, the more willing they may be to participate and have fun.

Here are some things to consider when creating your routines and schedules:

Age of Children

A routine for a toddler may look different than a routine or schedule for a school-aged, preteen or teenager! *Teens may not be interested in following your summer schedule and that’s okay, but it doesn’t hurt to encourage them to be part of some of your plans. Or have them complete a checklist (like one of the printables you can download).

Temperament and Personalities

You may have one child who HAS to get out of the house and another who is easily overstimulated so he or she prefers to stay home. Pick a schedule and routine that is a compromise for everyone.

Interests

Keep everyone’s interests in mind while picking what to do for your summer schedule. Don’t worry about pleasing everyone all the time. Instead, have special days such as “YOU PICK” day that rotates between kids.

Sleep

If your kids want to stay up a little later, make sure they are getting up a little later too! Sleep is imperative to brain development and the lack of sleep is becoming an epidemic. Be mindful of how many hours of sleep your kids need and do what it takes to help them get enough.

Cost

When planning activities, think about and budget for the cost.

Thankfully, there are so many free activities for kids to do such as swimming at your neighborhood pool, going to library events, local parks and playgrounds, playdates, dispersed camping, etc.

What we did last year was find year-long memberships that were reduced in price through promotions or sites like Groupon. This cut down on costs a lot as we frequented the water park, Science Center, and indoor play places.

Self-Care for YOU!

This is not as obvious but we need to make sure within these routines and schedules that we don’t forget to take care of ourselves as parents. Personally, I do a modified version of The Miracle Morning.

I have been able to stick to my own routine hours before my kids wake up, but for you, your self-care time may be during your kids’ nap or quiet time. If you don’t have a built-in quiet time, I highly recommend incorporating one into your summer routine as well.

Again, this time can be for you as much as it is for your kids!

Since we avoid screens as much as possible because my boys’ nervous systems just can’t handle it and it’s not worth the battles, they love to do projects from companies like Kiwi Crate (use code SHARE30 for 30% off) and Little Passports. And Legos are always a winner, too, of course!

Pssst… if you are running on empty, I have a Free eBook that walks you through how to take care of yourself so you have more to give to your family. Implementing these concepts have seriously been life-changing for me!

Schedule & Routine Ideas: What to Do In Summer Vacation

There are so many different ways you can make a summer schedule and daily/weekly routine. I have made printables of the different types that you can download here!!

Block Schedules For Kids

Although block schedule has “schedule” in the name, it is actually a way to help you keep a consistent daily routine by scheduling activities and tasks within blocks of time. The blocks remain the same every day; the activities and tasks typically change.

Sample Block Schedule

7:00am – 9:00am (Block 1): MORNING ROUTINE – Get dressed, eat, brush teeth, get ready for the day
9:00am – 12:00pm (Block 2): FUN ACTIVITY – Go somewhere fun or plan something to do at home on days you don’t feel like going anywhere.
12:00pm – 1:00pm (Block 3): LUNCH & CLEAN – Eat and clean up the kitchen.
1:30pm – 4:00pm (Block 4:): QUIET TIME – Nap, rest, quiet or room time.
4:00pm – 6:00pm (Block 5): DINNER – Prepare and eat dinner then clean up after dinner.
6:00pm – 8:00pm (Block 6): BEDTIME ROUTINE – Hang out, read, and prepare for bedtime.

Activity Block Schedules

Another way to do a block schedule is to do the same activity in a certain block every day.

I made a few different activity block schedules that you can customize.

Master Activity List By Category

The first block schedule I created is inspired by Modern Minimalism! She created a master list of activities and tasks, and then grouped them all into categories like help, move, create, etc.

For the daily schedule, kids pick an activity under each category to do during that block of time.

Daily Routine with a Mind, Body, and Soul Focus

I often see these kinds of lists for kids to complete before they get screen time. It ensures they are filling their minds and bodies with good things first.

The blocks in this schedule can be divided into 1.) Wake Up 2. ) Late Morning 3.) Afternoon and 4.) Evening

Wake-up tasks include everything that has to do with care:

Personal care such as eating, getting ready, and brushing teeth.
Family care such as daily chores or doing tasks that are helpful to the family.
Soul care such as reading a daily devotional, filling out a gratitude journal or daily reflection journal. *My son LOVES this One Question a Day for Kids: A Three-Year Journal: Time Capsule for Kids journal

Late Morning tasks include activities for the body such as:

Ride bike
Exercise
Jump on the trampoline
Swim
Hike
Play with friends

Afternoon tasks include ways to build the brain such as:

Read or listen to a book
Write
Do a science project
Make crafts (ToucanBoxes have great monthly boxes)
Play the piano or write music
Watch an educational video
Design or build something
Listen to a podcast – here are the podcasts my kids love!
Make kindness cards

Evening tasks are whatever needs to happen to end the day or wind down:

Dinner
Clean kitchen/rooms
Family time or play a game
Read
Sleep!!

Daily Checklist

I got this idea from one of my favorite parenting podcasts, Sunshine Parenting with Audrey Monke.

Instead of focusing on a specific schedule, your kids need to check off everything on the list each day. They can do the activities whenever they want as long as they get done. This kind of list is especially great for older kids and teenagers who don’t rely on you as much.

Summer Bucket List Schedules

I love the idea of having a summer bucket list although we have never done it. If you don’t know what a bucket list is, it’s a collection of aspirations, goals and dreams someone would like to accomplish before they leave this earth. This concept can be applied to kids and what they want to do in summer break.

There are different ways you can do a bucket list. You can pick from a huge list of activities like you can find on Busy Mom Smart Mom (Ultimate Summer Bucket List for Kids: 100+ Ways to Beat the Heat) or you can do a weekly bucket list schedule that includes places they want to go to and things they want to do; goals can be incorporated into the schedule as well.

I’ve seen many bloggers make each day of the week a theme that starts with the same letter as that day of the week. Just check Pinterest! There are some very creative schedules out there!

I created my own version of a summer bucket list printable for you as well!

Daily Summer Schedule and To-Do’s

Some families prefer to mix it up or change their schedule depending on the day. I’ve included a section for the schedule of events and tasks, gratitude, priorities, and meals.

You can either print out a new one to use every day or laminate it so you can reuse it over and over again. I love my laminator!

Good Ol’ Weekly Schedule

This is what our family has been using until we decide what we want our blocks to be. It’s super simple to use! I laminated ours so we could reuse it every week.

Every night, we figure out what we are going to do the following day and fill in the schedule. I keep it on the fridge so it’s super easy for the kids to see. They can also add to it!

Weekly Themed Schedules

One last way you can structure your summer schedule for kids can be to adapt from summer camp!

Each week has a theme and with a general block schedule already in place, the activities and tasks you do will revolve around that theme. Here are super fun themed schedules:

Camp, Learn, and Play – 17 weekly themes planned out for you! No Time For Flashcards
DIY Summer Camp – 11 weekly themes full of fun. Steamstational
Summer Camp at Home Planner – Weekly activities including snack ideas to go along with the theme. Printable Activities Club
At Home Summer Camps for Kids – 12 themed weeks with 84 activities including crafts, games, sensory play, dramatic play, open-play ideas, printables, and more! Teaching Mama
12 Ideas To DIY Summer Camp at Home – Girl Mom Chaos

What Will You Be Doing This Summer?

Let me know if any of these schedules are helpful in planning your summer vacation with kids. If you have friends looking for routines or summer schedules, please share!

May 14, 2020 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 10 Comments

Vacation Packing List | Get Kids To Pack Without Any Help!

Inside: Packing for vacation can be overwhelming if you have more than one child. This post breaks down the best ways to teach kids how to pack their own suitcase or duffle bag! Included is a FREE packing checklist for kids.

(Originally published on June 3, 2019; updated on May 14, 2020)

Summer is just about here AND many states are reopening so who else is screaming, “FREEEDOM??!!!”

I am lifting my hands high!

It’s time to grab your vacation packing list and pack for vacation!

If you were planning on traveling to another state and that trip has been canceled, go on a staycation. Thankfully, we live in Arizona which has gorgeous resorts and hotels that are great for a one to three-day stay.

Or what we do often during the summer is go camping! Because unless water is involved, it can feel like our eyeballs are going to melt off of our faces. I wish I were kidding.

After saving for three years, we sold our pop-up camper and bought what I call “an apartment on wheels.” It’s a 30-foot pull-behind trailer with triple bunk beds, a king-size bed, microwave, oven, sink, and full bathroom. I feel like we’re cheating when I say we camp. However, we are able to head to the woods or campgrounds around 60 days a year! Our summers wouldn’t be the same without it.

The goal is to leave Phoenix every other week to escape the heat. We only need to drive a few hours before we are in a totally different climate surrounded by a totally different landscape (aka: grass and trees)!

teaching kids to pack with boy packing suitcase

This post may contain affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

When we first started taking a lot of road trips, I was losing my mind with having to pack for myself and three kids.

Since we camp, the vacation packing list is twice as long as it would be to stay in a hotel because I have to prep and shop for meals, pack bedding and toys, restock toiletries and paper products, in addition, to pack cool and hot weather clothes because the highs can be in the 70’s or 80s and the lows in the 30’s or 40’s!

It didn’t occur to me until my boys were six and eight that they were completely capable of packing their own clothes and entertainment items.

All they needed was a little direction and guidance which did NOT need to involve me. Woot Woot!

For You! Sign up for the Raising Kids With Purpose newsletter and receive a free vacation packing list for kids.

family standing at Cedar Breaks National Monument

Keep Reading: 4 Easy Steps for Teaching New Skills to Your Kids

Teach Your Kids How to Pack for Vacation

The first thing you need to do is explain to your kids that they are old enough to do a very important task – decide what to wear on vacation by packing all by themselves! Make sure you are very positive in your communication.

Last year, we came up with a vacation packing list together with all the potential items they will need for a road trip. Included is a quantities column that I fill out.

Then we followed the four steps to learning a new skill until they could pack without my help.

Now, our boys are responsible for packing everything they will need or use that isn’t already in the camper!

What Kids Learn When They Pack For Themselves

I didn’t realize how many skills and lessons my kids would learn simply by being responsible for their own stuff by using a vacation packing list.

Ownership

My kids can no longer yell, “Mom! You didn’t pack my favorite Harry Potter pajamas!” or “Where is my favorite blanket?”

If they forget something, the only person they can blame is themselves. And you know happened when they forgot something? When they packed for the next trip, they remembered everything! Our brains learn through failure!

Responsibility

Kids need to have duty over something, act independently, and be given the opportunity to act independently. Packing for vacation is a perfect way to teach responsibility.

boys using packing list to pack for vacation

Self-belief, Self-confidence, and Self-esteem

Humans are born with a sense of wanting to have control over their lives. Packing for vacation can really boost a child’s sense of self-belief, self-confidence and self-esteem. Especially when they see their friends’ parent doing everything for them and forgetting their favorite toy.

Life Skills

Allow your kids to develop these skills while they are young, teachable and while they have you to help!

Independence

This is one of the main points of parenthood, to raise little people who become independent big people. Being responsible for packing all of their belongings is a gateway to independence.

Organizational Skills

If your kiddo struggles with executive function, you may need to help them a little more on this one, but ideally, they will learn how to organize items in a suitcase or duffle bag.

What To Pack For Vacation

In having the boys gather their own belongings for road trips, we have learned a few other things that help it go successfully.

On the vacation packing list they use, all of the following items are included:

Clothes, Shoes, and Accessories

In deciding how many items to bring, have your kids plan one outfit for each day plus two additional. With kids, you never know if an outfit will make it an entire day!

Let your kids pick out their outfits!

This has been a toughie for me especially because I like to take photos on our trips. Every photographer knows that colors and clothing make a big difference. Slowly, I’ve been embracing the neons mixed with patterns and colors that don’t complement each other. At all.

If mismatched clothes really do bother you then teach your kids how to put an outfit together. Use a color wheel to show what colors look best together and explain about solids and patterns.

It’s important to be okay with whatever they choose especially if they throw that color wheel out the window as my kids have! Kids also have a need to express who they are!

Packing List Order:

Shirts (and or dresses for girls)
Shorts to match shirt (and anything to go with the dress like if they need leggings underneath)
Long sleeves (if needed)
Pants (if needed)
Socks and underwear
Sweatshirts or outwear that can go with the shorts
Pajamas – Even if they don’t typically wear these, we have them pack at least one pair when packing for vacation.
Hat(s)
Shoes – One pair of flip flops or sandals and one pair of tennis shoes usually does the trick
Water bottle – Check out these awesome Dyln bottles that create alkaline antioxidant water. Or Gululu is a smart water bottle made specifically for kids!

Don’t forget to check the weather. As I mentioned we often have to plan for both cold weather and hot weather outfits for each day.

Read Next: An Easy Way For Kids To Pack School Lunch (With FREE Lunch List)

Toiletries

Let your kids pick out their own toiletry bag and make sure they fill it with at least the basics.

Shampoo
Body wash
A scrubby (doesn’t get gross like washcloths!)
Toothbrush and toothpaste
Comb, brush and hair accessories
Lastly, other helpful items are sunblock, moisturizer, and lip balm

Entertainment

This category is vital for kids ages one to twelve. Entertainment items are used for the car ride as well as in and outside the camper. Here are a few non-screen ideas:

Books and magazines
Toys such as Legos, figurines or building toys (My kids LOVE these connecting blocks)
Games
Coloring and activity books, stickers and other crafts (check out this AWESOME craft store I found with all of these things!!!)
Sensory toys

Here are some great games to play once you get to the destination! *Some can probably be played in the car.

Pick the Best Packing Method For Each Child

Find a method using your vacation packing list that works for each child.

Again, using these four steps to teach your kids a new skill really works! Just tattoo the steps to your arm seeing you’ll be using them a lot while your kids are young. Ha!

Ziplock Bags

A GREAT tip I came across for packing kids’ clothes in a suitcase or duffle bag is to use gallon-sized ziplock bags.

Have your kid use a sharpie to write his or her name on the bag. If your child needs some organizational help, he or she can label each bag with the day he or she plans on wearing each outfit.

Fold or Roll

There are basically two methods – fold or roll.

For most kids (especially those who want to get it done quickly), the rolling method is usually best. My son used one bag per outfit, one for socks and underwear and one more for pajamas.

1. Roll – For shirts, fold in the sleeves and roll from the neck down. For pants, fold in half and roll from the waistband down.

Here’s a great video with a demonstration. Once the items are rolled, put both the top and bottom into a bag.

2. Fold – When folding the items, have your child make sure the clothes are flat. Match the top and bottoms and put into a ziplock bag. There are many different techniques to fold clothes.

Other Ways to Store the Clothes

As your kids get older, the ziplock bag trick may be harder to fit the clothes into because of the size of the clothes.

Packing cubes can do wonders!

Another idea a friend just told me is that she assigns different colored rubber bands for each of her four kids and wraps the rubber bands around the rolled clothing. No baggies required.

Teach Your Kids How to Pack a Suitcase or Dufflebag

The ziplock bag, packing cube or rubber band method all make it very easy to pack a bag or suitcase. Some kids are naturally organized but others need to be taught how to stack and arrange clothes.

Show your kids how to utilize the different sections in a suitcase or bag that make it easiest to find what they need.

Download Your Free Packing List

To help my kids, together, we made a packing list with all the items they usually need to pack for vacation. I used my handy dandy laminator so they can write on the sheets with a dry erase marker and wipe it clean after every vacation or road trip.

For you, I’ve updated it and made two different lists – one for girls and the other for boys.

Oftentimes, I put the numbers in the quantity column but have recently been asking them how many items they think they need.

Having your kids think for themselves is just as important as getting stuff done independently. So far, my boys have been right on as they realize how dirty they get.

Do your children pack for vacation?

Have any questions or additional tips? I’d love to hear! Comment below.

And feel free to share with friends who are heading on vacation!

December 6, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 34 Comments

How To Destress Your Mornings With Kids

I’m so excited to feature Sierra, a content creator for The Zebra. It is a site that compares auto insurance quotes for users! She wrote this article on how to destress your mornings with kids by using routines.

I’m all about routines over here. Because of them, I’m thankful we’re even to the point where my kids need basically ZERO involvement from me in the morning. At only ages 7 and 10, they wake themselves up, make and eat breakfast, pack lunches, brush teeth, do hair, pack backpacks and bike themselves a mile to school. These tips below are a great start to helping your kids become self-sufficient. In turn, there is no stress in the morning!

This post contains affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

No one wants to begin the morning in a high-spirited argument over the need to brush your teeth or eat breakfast. Clashing on how things run in the morning is truly the worst. Everyone can be groggy and grumpy when they should be getting geared up. What should be a good time to bond with your child, for many of us, can become a huge battle. That’s why you need to destress your mornings with kids.

For many parents during the week, that brief time in the morning is the only chance they get to interact with their children before dinner. Of course, we would all love to fill that time with positive support instead of yelling about where a shoe may have gone.

There’s no doubt that making that time more cooperative, instead of combative, can hugely alter a parent-child relationship.

Problems in the morning usually stem from a lack of preparedness and a difficulty in keeping up with very specific duties that must be accomplished before going to school. By codifying the actions you and your children take (and doing as much as you can beforehand) it is possible to recraft the morning into the engaging and beneficial time that it should be.

It Starts With The Night Before

The best way to have a more organized morning is to strategize the previous evening. Every puzzle piece you put into place the night before is something that you won’t have to think about the next day.

Discuss Plans At Dinner

There are many proven positive effects of sitting down to a family dinner. Research has shown that families that sit down to dinner have children with higher self-esteem, improved academic performance, and even lower obesity rates.

Another benefit that studies may have not covered is one that helps you destress your mornings with kids. When you have a chance to sit down as a family, it is a great time to discuss the plan for the following day in detail. Not only will this give you a strategy for setting up for tomorrow, including thinking of things like instruments that need to be packed away or assignments that are due, but it also may have your child opening up to you about things in school that you might otherwise have missed.

For many children, putting a schedule on a board helps them get centered for the day ahead. If you have space, get a large chalkboard or paint a chalkboard wall as a great place to keep a daily schedule to refer to after dinner.

destress your mornings with kids by packing lunch at night

Prep Lunches

If you want the morning to run more smoothly, part of your routine for the evening should be cleaning up, doing dishes and making lunches. Give your children responsibility over their lunches as soon as is possible to give them some empowerment on what they are eating.

Note from Adriane: By signing up for my newsletter, you will receive a free Lunchbox List of Food Ideas so your kids can pack their own lunches! My kids started in First Grade!

If you have young children, they may feel more like a hindrance than a help with getting things ready. Even if this is the case, they will benefit more from being part of this task than if you did it for them. This is how kids learn!

A great tip that works well is to have your child pick what he would like to pack and also decided how he wants you to help. You can make the sandwich, but have him or her bag it up and place it in the lunch box. Using Bentgo-like lunch containers make it even easier to split up the work because you can do one of the sections and your child do the other two.

Older kids can be given the chore of crafting their own lunches as part of their evening work. And remember, if they don’t pack what you like, that’s THEIR choice! Make sure you provide healthy options or set limits on what is and isn’t allowed.

Pull Out Clothes

With many children, waiting for them to get “acceptable” clothes on is a huge chunk of the morning wasted. Whether it’s a favorite shirt or the right pants, many kids will float back and forth before making their decisions (leaving you with a pile of clean clothes all over their room). Instead of putting all that on your morning you can get some of this out of the way in the night before.

For those with younger children, help them pick out clothes during pajama time. This also allows you to avoid that awful moment when your child realizes that the shirt they wanted to wear is dirty or currently in the wash. If your child also requires uniforms or gym clothes to be ready, you can make sure these are ready and even put a bag in the car rather than waiting until the last minute.

For many of us, shoes are an additional issue. Have your kids put shoes in the same place every day so you don’t have to endure a yelling battle over lost shoes.

Focus on Sleep

The National Sleep Foundation says that children should get about 10 hours of sleep per night to foster the best brain development.

Thinking back from the time your child needs to get up to get to school on time means that if she has a 6:30am alarm, she should be getting to sleep around 8:30pm. This is a struggle for any parent, but doing what we can to get children off to bed means creating beneficial evening habits.

It’s best to shut the screens off at least an hour before they hit the pillow because the harsh blue light suppresses the melatonin needed to get quality rest. Take that time to read to little children and encourage teens to grab a book rather than sit on their ipads. At the same time, you can start lowering lights to stimulate melatonin.

If your children have trouble sleeping, consider creating the best nighttime environment that is conducive to rest.

These work great:

Blackout curtains create darkness signaling to the brain that it’s time to sleep.
Some sounds can be very soothing and the addition of a whirring fan, or adding a white or pink noise machine, to their nighttime routine can help them calm down enough to fall asleep.
Temperature control is important. Keep it as comfortably cool as you can in your child’s room.
Use a diffuser or other method to promote fragrances that help with sleep.

A good night of sleep can easily destress your mornings with kids.

5 Ways to Have a Successful Morning With No Yelling

When everyone gets up, having a routine to reference will make everything run more smoothly.

Start With Time For You

If you can, try to rise about 15 minutes or so before everyone else and take some time to breathe.

Yoga or some stretching exercises can help center you before your day begins, but it can be just as helpful and grounding to sit with a cup of coffee for a moment before the morning fun.

Make Wake Up Time Calming

Try to leave enough time in the morning to make wake-ups as gentle as possible. With younger children, having time to cuddle a bit makes for a much nicer morning. For older kids, raising the lights slowly, maybe with some soothing music accompanying, puts less of a shock on wake-up time.

Or better yet, let them choose their own alarm clock and give them the responsibility of getting up completely on their own!

Create A Morning Routine

Put together an easy-to-follow plan of how things go. This will is a surefire destress your mornings with kids. Starting with your child making the bed is a good way to set the tone for the morning ahead.

Then keep things in an established order: getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing teeth, finding shoes, and getting last minute things ready for school all should be followed in the same order every day. This way there is never any confusion and it sets up good and clear habits.

To help your family get out the door, try using a morning or evening checklist from The Zebra so everyone leaves the house on time and safely. Kids can check off their routine and you can even offer special points or incentives to keep them getting all of their checks.

Read Next: 6 Steps to Master a School Morning Routine for Kids (on The Zebra’s website)

Load Up On Protein

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but how often do you go with only a bowl of cereal?

While grains are great, trying to get kids in the habit of having protein at breakfast will pay off in the long run. Higher protein foods like eggs and yogurt are good for keeping kids focused and will keep them fuller longer.

Adding fruits and vegetables and limiting sugar is a good plan as well. It’s also crucial to be hydrated in the morning.

Expect the Unexpected

With kids, of course, you have to realize that all of your carefully laid plans can change in an instant. The best thing you can do to destress your mornings with kids is to be flexible when things don’t go exactly as you anticipate.

Giving yourself the time, and preparing in advance will mean you have the latitude to take on anything that comes up.

Being prepared will turn your mornings into a better time for bonding with your kids. It may just mean changing the way you think of the evening and turning it into a time for preparations for tomorrow.

AUTHOR BIO:

Sierra Skelly is a content creator for The Zebra who develops helpful and compelling stories. Her passion for digital marketing and creative writing has led her to cover unique topics ranging from business to lifestyle. She calls San Diego, CA home and enjoys crafting, decorating and traveling in her spare time.

October 6, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 43 Comments

The Top 10 Tips to End Homework Battles With Kids

The homework battles all started in Kindergarten! Yes, that young!

After agonizing over which school we should send our oldest son to, we decided on a brand new traditional school that was being built a mile from our house. It had a Positive Discipline model, lots of structure that we thought would benefit his hyper little body, and they taught in a similar way to how my husband and I learned.

However, while looking more closely at reviews, the number one complaint was the amount of homework given.

This post contains affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

I really didn’t think it would be that bad.

And I was wrong.

The amount of work wasn’t actually the problem, although, there was quite a bit. It was my approach and being unaware that my son is something that is known as Twice Exceptional. I was metaphorically squeezing him into a teeny tiny box. All the while, he was BUSTING out of it probably trying to figure out how he could create something with it. Ha!

There were a lot of tears. Mostly from me because the frustration would boil over causing me to be a sobbing mess. I tried rewards such as (dye-free) gummy bears and stickers. I would sit right next to him repeating myself over and over again.

It was painful.

Now that I look back, there is no wonder he was so resistant, annoyed and more frustrated than I was! Thankfully, we have repaired that damage!

Bonus! Sign up for the Raising Kids With Purpose Newsletter and receive The End Homework Battles Toolkit for FREE! The toolkit includes a Homework Plan Worksheet, Top 10 Tips Poster, a Daily Homework Checklist and a Homework Supply List.

The Benefits of Homework

A few years ago, I was listening to a podcast where the author made a comment about how homework doesn’t even contribute to learning. Shortly after, I came across Alfie Kohn’s stance on homework and he states, “The fact is that after decades of research on the topic, there is no overall positive correlation between homework and achievement (by any measure) for students before middle school – or, in many cases, before high school.”

I threw my hands up in the air with the attitude of, “Well, that’s it! I’m not even going to make my kids do homework anymore. I’m sick of the homework battles anyway.”

But being the research-a-holic that I am, I did a little more digging.

It appears that the experts and researchers in the field of education can’t quite agree if this is true or not. There are too many variables at play such as developmental capacity, the type of homework, parental involvement, the amount, and the list could go on.

Another thing to consider is that even if homework does contribute to learning, it’s taking away free time and play. Young kids discover the world through play so to take that away can be detrimental to their development.

Something we do know is that homework can help a teacher gauge where a child is in terms of progress toward knowledge, and it can also contribute to more skills other than learning. This did get my attention because teaching life skills to our kids while they are young and in our safe environment is what parenting is all about to me.

Skills learned by doing homework:

Accountability
Time Management
Self-Discipline
Motivation
Goal-Setting
Delayed Gratification
Critical Thinking Skills
Independence and Self-Motivation
Study and Note-taking Skills
Following Directions
Responsibility
The Joy of Hard Work
Perseverance

End Homework Battles

I didn’t realize there was another way to do this whole homework thing. I was the one causing way more problems than solutions. After taking a step back from all the tension, I realized there was a power struggle for autonomy happening.

In The Self-Driven Child by Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, the very second chapter is titled, “I Love You Too Much To Fight With You About Homework” The Parent As Consultant.

At first, I thought it was peculiar to have a chapter about homework at the very beginning of a book on childhood autonomy. After reading it though, I found it to be the perfect example of how we should view our role as parents – as a consultant, not manager and definitely not dictator.

Immediately, I started putting what they mentioned in practice.

The authors were spot on!

The battles (of two years!!) stopped, the tears dried up and my son started to be self-motivated!

Just the other day, he realized he had to recite a poem that was due the following day. We didn’t nag or remind him. As a result, he got to work and was able to say the whole thing in class the next day without any help. Would I have preferred that he didn’t procrastinate? Yes. But that’s not my choice to make.

Since reading The Self-Driven Child, I also read The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey and No Drama Homework by JoAnn Crohn. With all the amazing information, I started implementing their tips. It has made such a difference in our relationship and especially in our boys’ self-motivation and independence.

The Top 10 Tips to End Homework Battles

The goal with all of this is to let our kids lead their own lives and be self-disciplined. Homework is a great place to start in allowing our kids to develop competence and become more resilient. If we do the work for them, we, in turn, make them weaker.

Here are the top 10 tips that really helped end homework battles:

1. Define What Homework Is (And Isn’t)

What the heck is homework for anyways?

If we start by realizing what the purpose of homework is and how it should be completed, we can continue to fall back on this if it starts to be something that it’s intended to be.

The Purpose of Homework

When googling the question, “What is the purpose of homework?”, there are many websites that answer this question such as Psychology Today, The Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development, and even Crayola. After reading through what many of the professionals and experts had to say, this is the conclusion I came to:

The purpose of homework is to reinforce what was taught in class and result in meaningful learning.

With this in mind, we can determine if our child’s homework is appropriate or inappropriate. And if it’s the latter, don’t feel afraid to speak to your child’s teacher.

How Homework Should be Completed

According to an article on Princeton University’s website, ” only a certain amount of processing of information occurs in response to hearing information presented.”

And this is all dependent on the type of learner your child is. By doing homework at home, learning can be reinforced in a different way.

Kids should also be able to complete homework independently.

This means that if a child is unable to read, then he or she probably isn’t ready for homework that requires reading yet. This is not how it’s viewed at my children’s school and I’m sure they have their reasons. As a result, I did see that my kids weren’t able to work on many of the skills listed above like self-discipline or responsibility because they had to depend on me. And at that age, we need to encourage play and discovery in the small amount of time they have left in their day.

When a child can complete the work at home by himself or herself, even more learning will be strengthened which again, is the whole point.

Lastly, homework should also be completed with the teacher’s expectations in mind.

Set and understand what the teacher’s expectations are and reinforce those with your child.

Even though our school is pretty uniform in the instruction and homework given, each teacher does have slightly different rules and requirements for homework. Reiterating these with your child will help them be successful in accomplishing the purpose of homework, therefore, eliminating those awful homework battles.

2. Rule Out Any Learning Challenges

If your child seems to be sitting there and physically unable to get the pencil moving, it may not be because she is lazy or even tired. She may have a learning or developmental challenge. Or if they don’t seem to remember anything they learned in class, there may be a vision or hearing problem.

We had no idea our child had learning and attention issues AND needed glasses. Once we figured this all out, we were able to give him the accommodations he needed. I would get incredibly frustrated watching him sit there and do what I perceived as nothing. Thankfully, those feelings diminished once I was aware of what was going on. Then, I was able to be constructive instead of destructive.

Understood is an incredible resource for kids with learning and attention challenges. This article, “Why Kids With Executive Functioning Issues Have Trouble Starting Tasks“ opened my eyes to the effects of chemicals in the brain and task initiation.

The power of knowledge and awareness, I tell ya! It can change everything.

3. Make Sleep a Priority

Thanks to modern-day society, kids are getting less and less sleep.

Quality sleep helps kids focus and it helps increase learning. Research has shown that even increasing sleep by 27 minutes can help with focus and reduce inattention challenges.

According to Parents, “[Sleep] is when the body repackages neurotransmitters, chemicals that enable brain cells to communicate. And experts have recently been able to demonstrate that sleep allows brain cells to “take out the trash” each night, flushing out disease-causing toxins.”

4. Realize Homework Is OUR CHILD’S Responsibility

Let’s say it together:

Homework is my child’s responsibility, not mine.

This is what really released me feeling like I needed to be a homework dictator! If I’m making sure the homework is getting completed and constantly nagging, I’m making the responsibility mine.

And do you remember some of the skills that are learned through homework? Most of them cannot be achieved if I’m hovering over my child and making sure it gets in his backpack and eventually to school.

“It may seem harmless to step in, but the damage is cumulative. Every time you take over, and rescue your child from working out a challenging math problem or thesis statement on her own, you undermine your child’s sense of confidence and autonomy.”

~Jessica Lahey of The Gift of Failure

Kids learn through failure and natural consequences. If I make homework my responsibility, they will never have an opportunity to learn how to recover from mistakes.

Read Next: An Easy Way for Kids To Pack School Lunch

5. Have a Plan

Come up with a plan together. Or better yet, give your child complete ownership over the plan (because it is his or her responsibility after all *wink wink*) and you can help if needed.

I had it in my head that the homework needed to be done immediately. My son had a different opinion. Before he would even walk into the house, a power struggle ensued. He needed a BREAK after school, whereas, I wanted to ensure his homework got done so he could have the rest of the evening to relax and create. In all honesty, I probably just wanted to be off the hook, too.

The Plan Could Involve:

Food! Fuel up and hydrate
What to do as soon as they walk in the door
Location for their homework folders or packets
Location for a “Homework station”
Supply Bins and a list of what they will need
The time they will start their homework
Anything else needed to complete homework such as timers

DOWNLOAD: Free Homework Toolkit

By handing over the responsibility to your child to eliminate homework battles, this does not mean you can’t or shouldn’t help. Something I started doing was saying,

“Hey! Let me know if you need any help with homework tonight. If so, let’s come up with a time so I can plan around it.”

If they don’t want you to work with them then that’s their prerogative. One of my sons didn’t want my help until he did poorly on a test. During the following week, he asked if I could study with him. Of course, I told him I would. Then, we came up with a time that worked best for both of us. We didn’t have any homework battles! Woot Woot!

Remember, the responsibility is ultimately our child’s, not ours.

6. Create an Effective Learning Environment

Find a spot in your house where your child works well. And remember, just because you prefer a certain work environment doesn’t mean that it will work best for your child.

In the books I read, they recommend that you find a space with zero distractions. Focus these days is hard to come by even for a neurotypically developing child, let alone, one with attention deficits.

What I’ve found is to look specifically at your child’s individual needs. For example, we have one son who requires external stimulation. One day, we practiced spelling words while he was listening to a book with one earbud in, moving in his swivel chair, and creating something with a 3D pen. The crazy thing is that he spelled more words correctly while doing all those things than when he was sitting with no distractions! On the other hand, our other son needs a quiet space free of any clutter.

Suggestions for homework spots:

On a bed
At a desk
At the kitchen table
Outside at a table or in a comfy chair
On the floor
At the local library

Another great tip I read was to use a tri-fold poster board to keep the child separated from distractions if that’s what they need!

Ask your child what he prefers. Check in with him or her every few months to see if it’s still working, if not, change it up!

Quick Tip! To end homework battles, use my Free Printable Homework Toolkit that includes a Homework Plan, Top 10 Tips Poster, Homework Checklist and Homework Supply List.

7. Teach Organization and Strategy

Homework is an opportunity for your child to learn how to organize materials and organize time. This is often done by coming up with a strategy.

Strategies That Will End Homework Battles:

Use a planner to keep track of all the assignments and when they are due. Checklists and routine charts can also be a great tool to teach organizational skills.
Determine if help from an adult will be needed. If so, decide on who will help and what time. Before starting, determine what is most important and or the “hardest” task. Self-control is a limited commodity and your child will most likely have more towards the beginning of homework time. Hence why it is best to start with the hard stuff first.
Estimate how much time each task will take to complete and use a timer for accountability (and accuracy of that estimation). *We LOVE these ones!
Establish a system where the child checks his or her own work after it is complete.
Have a homework supply box so there’s no need to disrupt work time to find a sharpened pencil or ruler.
Have your kids come up with a “home” for their backpacks and help them create a habit to put the homework away as soon as they are done. This will cut down on running around like chickens with their heads cut off in the morning. We use a big bin in the shoe closet and soon will be building custom lockers!

Time Management Strategies

A great way to teach time management skills to kids is with what Jessica Lahey refers to as The Timer Cure.

This teaches kids how to budget their time. Have them estimate how much time a particular task or subject takes to complete. Cut that time in half and set a timer for that amount of time.

For example, if a math worksheet typically takes an hour, set a timer for 30 minutes. Tell the child that once the beeper goes off, then the math worksheet time is done and he needs to move onto the next assignment. Keep the timer visible so they can see it counting down. Unless the child has learning or attention issues or anxiety, as mentioned above, he or she will typically beat the clock!

Talk to the teacher about this tactic first to make sure he or she is okay with the homework assignment not getting completed. For my son who has a 504 Plan, we utilize this strategy which has worked pretty well. At first, I thought he would use it as an excuse to not work as hard since he could stop after a certain amount of time, but it did the opposite.

Chunking

This is a great strategy to teach kids who have a tough time getting started or find the work to be challenging.

The child takes the homework assignments and breaks them down into manageable “chunks”.

Piles – Put each assignment or worksheet into a separate pile and work on one pile at a time.
Relatedness – Assignments can be sorted by relatedness such as written work, computer work, and more hands-on projects.
Subject – Work on one subject at a time
Due Date – Teach your child how to prioritize by working on the assignments that are due the soonest first.

Individual assignments can be broken down into even smaller chunks. The whole point is to make the task seem doable instead of so overwhelming that it’s hard to even start.

8. Call In Reinforcements

If the homework battles don’t seem to cease, then find someone else who can work with your child. Kids often listen better from a peer or someone just slightly older than him or her. They can feel a stronger connection or not have the need to fight back.

9. Discover Intrinsic Motivators

Before becoming a brain-compatible parenting research junkie (I don’t think that’s really a thing but in my world it is!), I thought rewards and praise were how you motivated a child to do something.

I was wrong.

In this post, I go into the hindrances that praise can actually cause. This also can go for rewards. Well, it may not damage the child and cause them to enter a psych ward or anything, but rewards don’t motivate in the way we think they do. Instead, they extrinsically motivate which means as soon as the reward is taken away, there is no desire left to continue doing that behavior, action or task. So instead, we should focus on doing things that intrinsically motivate our kids to want to do well or in this case, get their homework done.

Intrinsic motivation is doing something for the inherent enjoyment or satisfaction, but not for a separable outcome like a physical reward.

Thankfully, we have one child who loves homework so there is no external push needed from us. The other, however, would rather go scoop poop for a neighbor’s dog. Ha!

Sometimes rewards can kick start motivation, but because the effects wear off so fast, we need to be cautious not to rely on them. For example, using a sticker chart for potty training a two-year-old can work to jump-start the motivation to go in the toilet but as soon as they do, praise the action and empower the child with phrases like, “You did it!” Then they become proud of themselves and want to use the potty independently.

Intrinsic Motivators For Homework

Below are some things that you can do get your child to a point where they are intrinsically motivated to do homework instead of only completing it because you gave them a gummy bear. Well, you may not have used gummy bears, but I sure tried!

Encourage your child to work on what she is interested in first. As mentioned above, have your child prioritize and pick what is hardest first. However, if there is zero motivation to do anything, have her work on what she’s most interested in. Doing this will give her a spike in the motivation biochemicals in her brain that may last enough long enough for the remaining subjects.
Acknowledge when your child masters a task or accomplishes an assignment that was difficult. Avoid using praise like, “Good job” but instead, praise the effort and hard work.
Give your child autonomy. This has already been discussed, but allowing your child to be in control over his or her decisions of when to do homework, what and how to finish it, there will be greater motivation and maybe even desire to get it done.
Help them find joy in what they are doing. Point out parts of the homework that are linked to what they are good at or interested in.
Point out one of your child’s strengths that will help them to complete the assignment.
Give positive feedback and encouragement. Try to refrain from over-correcting or giving negative feedback. Instead, encourage your child to check his own work and encourage him to keep working hard.

10. Stay Focused on the End Game!

Getting caught up on each homework assignment can cause more and more power struggles. Instead, keep your focus on the end game and what you hope to accomplish.

This reminds me of my friend Amy Carney who wrote a whole book with this message. In Parent on Purpose, she talks about visualizing the end. If we were to sit down at our child’s 18th birthday and watch the actual story of his or her life, not just the highlight reel, how would we feel? Do you think all the arguing, yelling and maybe even tears over homework battles is what we would care most about?

Probably not.

When we really think about it, what do we what to accomplish in our parenting journey with our kids as they develop into self-sufficient adults? Our list will probably be filled more with all the skills listed above on what homework teaches than nagging and feeling like it’s a fight to get our child to complete and turn it in.

The long-term goals should be for your child to develop a growth mindset, be independent, become competent, diligent and accomplish great things with the precious time they’ve been given to live in this world.

Ending Homework Battles is Easy Peasy!

Right? Seriously though, with the right mindset, homework time doesn’t have to feel so straining. Talk to the teacher if you feel like your child is unable to complete it on his or her own, that it’s not reinforcing what was taught in the classroom or it is taking way too long.

Depending on the school, your teacher may be able to work with you and the student to ensure that it’s beneficial and not just busy work that’s taking away family time at home.

The Top 10 Tips!

In conclusion, let’s review the Top 10 Tips to End Homework Battles:

Define what homework is (and isn’t)!
Rule out any learning challenges and come up with a plan to accommodate your child if there are any.
Make sleep a priority.
Realize homework is our child’s responsibility, not ours!
Have a plan.
Create an effective learning environment.
Teach organization and strategy skills.
Call in the reinforcements.
Use Intrinsic Motivators.
Stay Focused on the End Game.

Download Your Free End Homework Battles Toolkit!

Download the toolkit | Join me to receive my newsletter and as a thank you, receive the pdf files. If you haven’t filled out the form, click here to subscribe!
Print the files | It works great to print onto cardstock but any paper will do. After you print, cut the half sheets.
Laminate | Laminating the half sheets works well so you can use a dry-erase marker and reuse the checklists. If you want, you can laminate the Homework Plan after it’s filled out so that it stays in good shape. Keep it at the designated homework spot as a reminder.
Use and update the plan | As the kids get older or make changes to their plans, update it and hang at the homework station.

What Is Homework Time Like For You?

If you have any questions or comments please feel free to drop a comment below!!!

February 18, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 13 Comments

Simple Systems to Keep Your Home Organized and Clutter Free

Whenever there is stuff all over my house, I feel paralyzed. My mind only sees clutter and to-do lists and time suckers.

A few years ago I remember talking to a friend about organizing. I told her it appeared that my house was clean, but not to open any cabinet or drawer.

Eeeek! It was so bad.

boy holding timer for organizational systems

This post may contain affiliate links. I will make a small commission if you make a purchase through one of these links, at no extra cost to you. See my disclosure policy here.

Since then, I found a way I could go into a room and not ugly cry. Instead, my house stays clutter-free and it’s fabulous. It takes being intentional, but with systems and routines in place, it has been easy to keep up.

The only area in our house that needs to be managed better is the playroom. My suggestion to the kids was to get rid of all the toys. That didn’t go over so well, but I tried.

Imperative Systems

In order to stay on top of things and make your home feel decluttered and organized, you need to have systems. Period. Some take time to set up and others are quick and easy.

the laundry room, get all the good dirt here — This was in our laundry room when we moved in. I’m not sure why, but it makes me smile.

Laundry Systems

First on the list is the “L” word! It’s one of those things that never ever ever EVER stop. When I was in a super busy phase of life I began to neglect laundry altogether. I think I did it once a month taking me HOURS. Who am I kidding? DAYS to complete. It was suffocating.

Now, we use a super simple system of sorting the clothes by which room they go to. When that bin gets full, it gets washed, dried, and put away all in the same day. Or at least, that is the goal.

Here are some great laundry systems that may help you:

Sort by room or kid. | Do it when it’s full and have the person whose clothes they belong to put them away!
Assign each day of the week to each person in the family. | You can even get creative and name it like “Molly Monday” (if you have a Molly!)
Have a three-day laundry system. | Wash everything the first day, fold it all the second, and put it away on the third.
Have a single laundry day. | Pick a day of the way where you do all the laundry AND put it away all in the same day. This is what we used to do. It did work well but the new system takes less time since we only have to go into one room to put the clothes away.
Wash a load every day. | The key to this working is to throw the load in before you go to sleep then switch to the dryer as soon as you wake up. Put it all away before your day gets started. If not, it usually will start to pile up.

Bonus!!! Grab your free monthly inspection checklist when subscribing to the Raising Kids With Purpose Newsletter so you can keep your house decluttered!

Daily Clean Sweep

This one is life-changing.

I’m not even kidding.

It allows for a fresh start every day with no clutter. Read: toys, clothes, shoes, books and whatever other random things our kids leave around the house.

Every night as part of your evening routine, give everyone a basket, crate, bin or even a wagon to walk around and grab all things that aren’t where they should be. Something with wheels can work great, too!

Read more: Routines for Kids: Why & How They Work

Then, all those items get put away in their “home” (my next tip!). If it’s been a long night, it’s okay if everything doesn’t get put away, but at least it’s not all over the house.

When you keep up on this, it’s amazing how quickly it goes. And you can make it into a game by setting a timer, let your kids toss unbreakable items from a far distance or allow them to push each other around in a basket.

Everything Must Have a Home

I constantly find myself asking, “Where is that ____________’s home?”

If something comes into the house and it does not have a “home”, then it’s home becomes the garbage or gets donated. This goes for paper and mail, too. If you don’t have a home for it and you won’t need it in the future, get rid of it!

“Homes” that work well for our stuff:

Crates or bins
Rolling Carts
Hangers – not used only for clothes. For example, I use belt hangers to hang my bags and purses.
Shoe Organizers
Shelving Units
Drawers – plastic or real dressers
Overhead storage racks
Plastic Containers WITH lids!
Wall Holders for items like brooms and mops
Drawer organizers
Folders and Filing Cabinets for mail and papers
Accordion Organizers – I use these for all school work and art I want to keep.
Pizza Boxes – My friend saves each year of her daughter’s school work in a pizza box so they fit nicely under the bed!

Because I love to organize, most of our bins are labeled and micro-organized by color or size. You don’t need to go that far. You (and your kids!) just need to know where everything goes.

The Dollar Store and IKEA are both amazing places to get very inexpensive organizational tools.

Your bins don’t need to be pretty to function. Our pantry has a bunch of Dollar Tree bins because they were um, $1! We also have bins from Ikea and Michaels to add a little style!

And if you are putting something away, make sure it goes in its actual home, don’t just throw it in a drawer as we did for years then couldn’t find anything! Make sure it goes in the spot you reserved for it.

The more you keep up on this, the less time you have to go back and clean later. And it’ll cut down on the need to buy more of something because you can actually locate it.

No More Tchatchkes! (Cha-Skies)

Another phrase that rattles in my brain to help keep the clutter at a minimum, “No more Tchatchkes!”

A friend of mine introduced me to this word. and I love it. Seriously, say it a few times.

So much fun, right?!

It’s Yiddish for junk, trinkets, little toys or basically what I call crap. Ha! I apologize for the language but there’s no other way to properly describe it.

Tchatchkes that need to be tossed:

Treasure Box or Goody Bag Toys | Can we please talk about this? I get it. Our teachers are doing their best job to manage their classrooms and our kids LOVE getting to go to the treasure box. It’s so sweet of their teachers to reward them. And our kids love getting little surprises at birthday parties. If it’s not practical like a pencil, bookmark, book or something they will actually use and gain value from, it doesn’t stay in our house.
Fast Food Toys | These fall in the same category as the toys above. You can donate them to the treasure box at school. HA HA!
Swag | How many stress balls, koozies and drawstring bags can one family really use? Again, if it’s something that won’t get used or provides value, it has to go.

Great Idea Alert! A way to allow your kids to play with new and fun toys that don’t stay in your house is to rent some from ToyLibrary!

It’s genius! You order used (and disinfected) toys, then when you’re done, you send them back. This way you don’t have to find a home for them.

After Dinner Clean Up Dance Party

This one is something we are trying hard to instill in our kids. We got the “clear off your plate and put it in the sink” down but getting the kitchen cleaned is taking some work.

If done right, it should only take 10 maybe 15 minutes.

Our Echo plays some rockin’ 80’s music, everyone is required to put away or clean at least 2 or 3 things as we dance. When the kitchen gets done AS SOON AS dinner is complete, nothing piles up and it feels so good.

I follow a blogger who even has a Disco Ball in their kitchen and another with a fun bell the kids get to ring when finished. Whatever it takes!

keep home organized using systems infographic

The Daily Goal

In implementing all these systems, the goal is to have the house clutter-free and cleaned up every single night to start each day fresh!

This doesn’t happen all the time. Part of the reason is….life. Sports, rehearsals and busy schedules get in the way. But when you really break it all down while staying consistent, it saves you so much time in the long run. And can I just say it feels good?! Clean spaces are where it’s at!

Here are a few tips that really help me:

If you think about it, do it! Just do it, you’ll thank yourself later.
Set a timer. Some nights when the kitchen doesn’t get done after dinner, I look around and just want to go lay in bed. But instead, I’ll set a timer for 5-10 minutes to see what can get done. More times than not, it gets done in that time. And if it doesn’t, I’m already cleaning so I might as well finish. We LOVE these timers!
Don’t pass something up that’s not in it’s home. If the kids are still going to be playing with something, I’ll leave it, but other than that I don’t let anything just sit there. It needs to go to it’s HOME!
Get my kids to help! This is a no-brainer except if I’m trying to get rid of toys. Ha!

Getting Started

Okay, so if you’re sitting there thinking, “Oooh, I can use that system and that would work well for us. I’m not sure about that but we can try….WHO AM I KIDDING? AHHHH MY HOUSE IS A MESS WITH NO SYSTEMS, IT’S TOO OVERWHELMING. I’m just going to shut every door in my house and go eat Bon Bons.”

You know, that overwhelming feeling of not even knowing where to start?

I have good news. It doesn’t have to happen overnight. It has taken me years to get good systems in place and feel like my house is semi-decluttered.

Having older kids also helps this because they are far more capable of pitching in now than when they were toddlers.

So if you’re in the weeds, hang tight, it gets better.

How To Start Decluttering

Decluttering your house when you have kids can feel daunting and overwhelming. All you have to do is commit to a few minutes every day which will sometimes turn into hours. Here are other tips that have really helped me:

Visualize how you want your home to look

Set goals for each space in your home.

Do a Deep Organize

This is like a deep clean, but instead only getting rid of stuff, make sure every area is organized.

Focus on one room at a time

I started at one end of my house, went through every cabinet, closet, area that had stuff, and made sure there were homes for everything. Bring along a big garbage bag and don’t be afraid to toss!

Set a timer for 20-minute chunks

I’ve been doing this for the playroom. It gets me started then I work on it for a little longer than that.

Ask yourself imperative questions

You can google how to get organized and will find so many tips, tricks, and scripts to tell yourself. Some professionals have you ask yourself if that item brings you joy. Another question I often use is, “Have I used this in the past year?”

Teach one system at a time

In converting your kids to becoming declutterers, explain how they can be involved, and focus on one system at a time. Create habits!

Think about every item that you bring into your house

Before buying another coloring book or toy, think about where it will go, what can you replace it with, or if it really is something that will bring joy or value. And it’s best to not bring ANYTHING else into your house until your decluttering process is complete.

Get inspired!

Every time I go to two particular friends’ houses, I always come home wanting to throw everything away! Their houses are completely free of clutter and feel so refreshing which does inspire me to do the same. *Thanks, friends!

The After Effects

When you look at a space where there once was a lot of stuff, you’ll think, “Wow! That’s so nice to see the countertop again.” Or at least for me, I have happy thoughts instead of little gremlins yelling in my head.

And it can be addicting! Once you get rid of the clutter, your mind can be freed to think and do other things.

Room by room, space by space, if done with intention and keep systems in place, it will be more manageable. And don’t forget to include the kiddos!

Bonus! Monthly Inspection Checklist

I created a monthly inspection checklist that you can laminate and use over and over again. There are two lists. One has suggested rooms to inspect and the other is blank so you can fill it out.

I keep this on my fridge so I can make sure all the rooms in my house get cleaned and stay decluttered.

What Systems Do You Use?

I want to know! What am I missing? What other systems could we be using to maintain a clutter-free home? Comment below!

Originally published on 02/18/19; updated 06/23/20

January 8, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 10 Comments

Routines for Kids: Why They Work & How to Create Your Own

By nature, I like to structure my day. I don’t only prefer it, I feel like my world is crashing down around me if I don’t have a routine to follow.

I was the same way when I had my first son. Even before he came, I spent hours making schedules in Excel, color-coded and all, to help all of us get in a routine as soon as possible. Ya, I was a bit of a nut. Some of my friends would attest that not a lot has changed but they still love me.

Now, these schedules didn’t always work because you know, brand-new babies think they should have their own timelines and needs met {insert dramatic hands thrown up in the air here}.

In all seriousness though, having some kind of structure to our day did help with sleep training, squeezing playtime in, helping with soothing and more importantly, keeping me (as) sane (as the crazy new mom I was could get).

Routines Are Imperative

Fast forward nine years, routines are more imperative than ever. My son has challenges with Executive Functioning with a provisional diagnosis of ADHD so he needs a routine.

Also, I have found that trying to rush out the door in the morning and making dinner are often my triggers. I go from Unikitty to Angry Kitty.

By having a routine for my kids to follow, there is a reduced amount of nagging to get things done before needing to head out the door. We get to stay on Cloud Cuckoo Land with all the rainbows and puffy clouds.

I like rainbows and puffy clouds. A lot.

What is a Routine?

When I say routine, I’m referring to some kind of consistent schedule at a certain part of the day. Mornings, after school and bedtime are the times of the day that we try to have some kind of routine, although flexible, in place.

Here are daily routines that are often helpful to have:

Morning – In my house, this is the most crucial routine we have. I am no longer involved in my boys getting ready in the morning and it’s glorious.
After School –Is it only me or does your house feel like a circus complete with acrobats when your kids get home from school?
Naps (if still taking them) and Bedtime
Chore Schedules and Routines
Play and Family Time

Because I don’t want to be more controlling than I already tend to be, we pretty much focus on having a solid morning and bedtime routine and chore schedules to allow for creativity and a little freedom.

Why Routines are Important

Routines are important for both kids and parents because they create predictability which leads to security and can aid in developing self-discipline.

There is so much change in a child’s life that having some kind of daily structure can significantly reduce stress and anxiety. Starting off the day knowing exactly what needs be done versus running around the house like your hair is on fire or you’re being chased by an angry monkey (you pick!) can set the tone for a much calmer and more productive day for you and your kids. And it feels good!

Raising Kids With Purpose Creating Routines

Dr. Laura Markham, author of many books I recommend and founder of Aha! Parenting says, “Structure and routines teach kids how to constructively control themselves and their environments.”

Kids who don’t have set times or places to get mundane tasks done have a tougher time learning to do the same when they are grown. Also, I can attest to not really having much of a self-care routine during my childhood (mainly because my parents working hard and not at home) which has resulted in a tougher time developing healthy habits as an adult.

“Structure and routines teach kids how to constructively control themselves and their environments.” – Dr. Laura Markham

We want our kids to thrive as adults which includes brushing their teeth, wiping their butts (I’m not even kidding), and eating healthy without being told to do so. If they are capable of creating a routine that is easy to follow, these things can be done on autopilot and without any hesitation.

The Benefits of Routines

Routines are helpful to both adults and kids and for our relationship with each other. Since implementing a morning and evening routine, I no longer turn purple from saying, “Put your shoes on” or “brush your teeth” over and over and over AND over again.

I barely have to repeat myself (even having a kid with ADHD which is a feat in itself!) which helps me treat my kids with kindness creating a stronger connection with them.

Raising Kids With Purpose Morning Routine

The Brain Benefits of Routines:

Our brains become more happy by increasing certainty. | Whenever people face uncertainty, the amygdala (the responsible party for fight, flight or freeze) is engaged. Routines help us know what to expect keeping our bodies calm and more alert.
We can think more clearly. |The prefrontal cortex (the thinker brain) houses executive functions which allow people to organize, plan, self-regulate, and get tasks done. This part of the brain tends to tire more easily if used a lot. Establishing routines helps our brain store those tasks in our basal ganglia, where our habits are stored, freeing up space in our prefrontal cortex and allowing us to have a clear mind so we can do new tasks and be creative in other areas. Wowzas! That was one heck of a run-on sentence so you may want to read it again *wink.
Our energy levels won’t be depleted as easily. | The Ego-Depletion effect is that feeling you get after completing tasks all day long. After a long hard day, you get the feeling of wanting to curl up on the couch and watch Netflix because you use up all your limited willpower (and self-control). Having routines can conserve our self-control and energy.
We can lose fewer things. | I love organization and to be organized but because I’m always thinking of the next thing (and probably because I have three little people with different wants all at the same time), I lose things…a lot. I can better keep track of things by putting simple routines into place. For example, hanging up my keys in the same place every day as soon as I walk into the house has helped tremendously. Now, if I could put a routine in place where I place my phone….

8 Benefits of Having Routines With Our Kids

Routines let your kids know what is important to you and can help minimize a lot of parent-child struggle. Also, we know that kids thrive when there is structure. Because of this, routines can have emotional, behavioral, and health benefits such as these:

Kids are more likely to cooperate and be intrinsically motivated to do the task at hand.
Power struggles can be eliminated or at least minimized. This runs true for our family which I mentioned above. Instead of getting into a battle on what they should be doing, I hand over their laminated routine chart and then walk away.
Expectations can be established for kids. Routines can teach time management, teach responsibility with chores, establish healthy habits, and help your child know what to expect all the while decreasing anxiety.
You can be more consistent in those expectations you have for your kids. Often we assume our kids know how to get themselves ready without any help which isn’t always the case. By having a routine in place (and better yet, printed out!), our expectations will be realistic.
Confidence and independence can develop. My oldest loves being able to cook his own breakfast in the morning. His self-confidence has exploded now that he is getting closer to taking care of himself.
Stronger connections and family bonds are created.
Time management skills are acquired from a young age. Don’t we all wish we knew how to use our time wisely? Getting started young can develop stronger habits for the future.
Kids experience stability and security. A predictable environment helps kids feel safe and protected especially during developmental changes such as synaptic pruning periods and puberty. Oh, puberty.

Fostering Autonomy When Creating Routines

Before I get into how to create a routine, I want to bring up the topic of autonomy. So often in parenting, by default, we have our own agendas for our kids to follow without any collaboration. We are the CEO and we treat our kids with a top-down approach.

What if we allowed them to make their own decisions with the amount of guidance they need?

Self-determination theory is a macro theory of human motivation and personality (Gagne & Deci, 2005). It is concerned with the motivation behind the choices people make without being extrinsically motivated or rewarded.

According to Good Therapy, the self-determination theory explains the three basic psychological needs people need to fulfill:

Autonomy, or the need to feel free to choose their own behavior
Competence, or the need to feel capable of effectively interacting with their environment
Relatedness, or the need to feel close to and meaningfully connected to others

I mention this because allowing your kids to create their own routines and then follow through on those themselves can develop a strong sense of autonomy. Kids are then able to develop problem-solving skills and great emotional well-being which will be beneficial for a lifetime.

When kids feel capable of making their own choices, the learning that occurs is invaluable. By doing this, kids can also realize the importance of family values, rules, and how to be a good human being.

In creating a routine, instead of handing over what you think is best, guide them carefully to choose what works for them and for the family.

Now The Fun Part, Creating Routines

For a routine to be effective, make sure it is

Clearly planned | Everyone needs to know what role they play with a plan made AHEAD of time.
Consistent |We have been trying to establish a routine of all hands on deck to clean the kitchen after dinner but aren’t very consistent. Therefore, the routine hasn’t been as successful as our morning and evening routines. After being consistent for a few months or so, check in with your kids and maybe change things up so it feels new again.
Predictable | On some of our routine charts, we listed times so every day we can try to aim to do those things at the same time or at least around that time.
Fun | Add a little fun. Our kids listed “do push-ups” as their last task of the morning. They don’t always do this but when they see it, they laugh.

Creating a Routine Chart

As mentioned, have your child be part of creating a chart. There are a ton of pre-made charts available but they are more likely to take part if they are given the autonomy to do their own.

Ways to Create a Routine Chart

Draw one! | My nieces talked to their mom about what should be on their morning routine chart and then drew pictures for each of the tasks. They enjoyed making a special creation that they could use daily.
Make one on the computer | Use a program like Word and allow your kid to pick his or her own clip art.
Use a stuffed animal or favorite toy | This is a great suggestion for kids who have sensory challenges or prefer soft things to touch. Attach the tasks to different parts of the toy that the child will follow in a specific order.
Use a chalkboard or whiteboard| If you have a place in your home with a chalkboard or whiteboard, put the routine on there for a reference for your kids. This can easily be changed as well.
Print out the routine chart I created for you!

Command Center Ideas:

The benefits of routines for kids and how you can get your mornings and evenings back. #routines #freeprintable

Download Free Routine Charts Including a Create-Your-Own

The routine charts are for both morning and night. I cut then laminated them so they were easy to carry around the house. When they are finished, they pin them back up on the Command Center.

I also included a Create-Your-Own. You can open it on your computer and add clip art or let your kids draw pictures!

When “Just Get Organized” Isn’t Enough

How Overwhelm Can Show Up

Why Traditional Advice Doesn’t Work

The Life-Changing Impact of the Right Systems

Mental Health Benefits

Building a Strong Family Culture Through Systems

The Benefits of Predictability for Kids

Download Your Daily Schedules For Kids

Thank you!

The Ripple Effect of Good Systems

5 Simple Systems for Managing Kids, Home, and Business

1. Five Time-Block Method

3. Hybrid Planner Method

Digital Planning

Paper Planning

4. The Weekend Reset

5. Systems for Business

What Makes These Systems Different

Implementation Tips I’ve Learned

How to Stop the Overwhelm

How to Sign Up for Chelsi Jo’s Courses:

Daily Schedules For Kids May Feel Too Hard To Implement

Download Your Daily Schedules For Kids

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Daily Schedules For Kids

Daily Schedules For Kids – Block Style

Daily Checklist For Kids

Daily To-Do Schedule

Basic Weekly Schedule

Homeschool Daily Schedule

Get Your Free Daily Schedules for Kids Here

Download Your Daily Schedules For Kids

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What Kind of Schedule Do You Use?

Four Steps For Teaching A New Skill To Kids

Consider These Things When Teaching New Life Skills To Kids

Your Child’s Readiness

The Time To Teach

The Difficulty Level

Take As Much Time As Needed

Give Encouragement

Make the Experience POSITIVE

Find a Developmentally Appropriate Way of Teaching

Give Your Child Time to Practice

A quick disclaimer about the photos listed for each step below:

Step 1: Your Child Learns From You

Step 2: You Do The Task WITH Your Child

Step 3: You Watch Your Child

Step 4: I-N-D-E-P-E-N-C-E

Why Kids Need Independence

Take a Class

Life Skills By Age

Download Your Life Skills by Age Printable

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What new skills have you been teaching your kids?

The Importance of A Summer Schedule for Kids

How to Implement a Summer Schedule and Routine

How to Pick a Summer Schedule and Routine

Age of Children

Temperament and Personalities

Interests

Sleep

Cost

Self-Care for YOU!

Schedule & Routine Ideas: What to Do In Summer Vacation

Download Your Free Summer Schedules

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Block Schedules For Kids

Sample Block Schedule

Activity Block Schedules

Daily Checklist

Summer Bucket List Schedules

Daily Summer Schedule and To-Do’s

Good Ol’ Weekly Schedule

Weekly Themed Schedules

Download Your Free Summer Schedules

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What Will You Be Doing This Summer?

Teach Your Kids How to Pack for Vacation

What Kids Learn When They Pack For Themselves