Family Life Archives - Page 4 of 4 - Raising Kids With Purpose

February 12, 2020 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 22 Comments

The Very First Thing Parents Must Do Before Correcting Behavior (To Get Kids to Listen)

Inside: Correcting behavior teaches kids many life skills. Besides making life easier for us, the parents, the real reason we do it is to teach kids how they should live in this world. Learn how to CONNECT before you CORRECT!

I have three boys. Read: three energetic, don’t think before they act, fun-loving, intense boys ranging from 10 years old to three!

Our life is loud, chaotic and a little cray cray.

It’s not abnormal for balls to be bouncing, nerf bullets and paper airplanes to be flying and RC cars to be driven down the hallways of our house. The way our boys are learning about how to live in this world is through playing, fighting with each other and testing boundaries.

If I went into every situation correcting every little misbehavior and telling them or yelling (which is very unproductive) orders, first of all, I would be exhausted. And second of all, I wouldn’t get very far as this approach is proven to be ineffective with kids unless you do something before the correction.

The Secret To Getting Kids to Listen

An analogy I heard before compared parenting to fighting fires. Firefighters don’t run into a burning building, but instead, they walk while remaining calm.

When you see your child doing something wrong or unwanted according to your rules and values, the go-to is to “~~run~~ sprint into the burning flames” and correct that behavior, right? But often, as soon as you jump to correcting, your child may appear that he or she isn’t listening. The shut-off button has been pressed.

There’s actually a reason for this. It’s not because your child is disrespecting you or not wanting to make the right choice. Yet, many parents see it this way. The reason is that instead of viewing the misbehavior as something he or she did wrong that must be fixed, developmentally, your ethnocentric child becomes defensive and goes into protection mode.

So what is the secret to preventing the shut-off button from being activated?

The answer is: connection.

Connecting Before Correcting Behavior

I first learned about connecting before correcting when reading No-Drama Discipline by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson.

I’m not going to lie, at first, it didn’t seem natural to stop what I was doing, connect with my child AND THEN correct what he was doing. And it was also unnatural for my husband who thought that there should be a consequence for every wrong move.

As we took this approach though we found that we didn’t have to correct as often because our kids began to self-correct and self-regulate! Hallelujah, Praise the Lord!

Also, it was extremely rewarding to experience a really close relationship forming with each of our boys.

This whole connecting with your child thing does take a little more effort. At least until you retrain your brain to resort to connection before correction. And while your kids get used to not just being told what to do right away. The good news is the more you approach behavior this way, the faster it will become!

Why Should We Connect Before We Correct Our Children?

Brain science (and honestly, the Bible sure has signs of this all throughout scripture) tells us that people are wired for connection and love.

Connection is human nature.

Research has proven that children learn best (mature, grow, thrive, and can become resilient) when they have a sense of belonging and significance.

I don’t know about you, but I have this innate need to be included, too. So imagine how much bigger that need is in a developing child.

There are three benefits to connecting before correcting behavior:

Short-Term Benefit: In the moment, kids can move from a defensive, reactive state to a receptive one! They must be willing to listen in order to listen.
Long Term Benefit: Connection wires those neural pathways and builds a stronger, better brain.
Relational Benefit: It creates a strong parent-child bond that is hard to break.

“Kids must be willing to listen in order to listen.”

Lastly, when you yell, nag, shame or constantly correct, this causes a child to go straight into his or her stress response of fight, flight, freeze or faint. It’s impossible for kids to make good choices when they are in this reactive mode.

How Does Connection Happen?

We know that connecting before correcting behavior has many benefits and will help your child feel secure and safe with you.

But what does connecting even mean?

Connection is when a person is linked to or associated with another person. If you read between the lines of this simplified definition, you will see, safety. In order to reach this level, three things need to happen:

1. Let the Past Go

First, we may have been raised in an environment that was the complete opposite of this connection model. And that’s okay! However, it does impact the way we parent whether we like it or not.

Not only does it impact our behaviors based on what we saw growing up, but it also wired our brains.

Have you ever freaked out on your kids and then thought, “Holy Wow! Where the heck did that come from??!” Ya, I definitely have and as I scan my childhood through reflection, I realize that there were experiences from my childhood that caused me to flip a switch to crazy mom. But because I know this, it can’t be used as an excuse because of something called neuroplasticity. This means the brain can CHANGE until the day we die! Say What?!

In order to make a change in the way you view your role as a parent and how you should correct your child’s behavior, you must make sense of your past and heal those memories. Or be intentional in forgetting them so you can connect in the way you want to with your child.

2. Be a Detective

Instead of jumping to conclusions about your child’s (what may seem to you as bizarre) actions, pause for a moment to figure out the “Why”.

Think about the reason behind the behavior.

A lot of times, my kids are unable to listen or make good choices because their brain chemicals are out of wack. I read in The Self-Driven Child that 90% of our children’s behaviors are chemical! Ever since reading that, I am able to acknowledge when my son’s dopamine is super low (or high) or the cortisol is pumping creating a lot of anger.

Other reasons for your child’s unwanted or misbehavior can also be because he or she is tired, hungry, bored or experiencing emotions he or she doesn’t know what to do with.

Put your detective hat on and focus on why your child is not listening. Don’t stop there either. Have a conversation about why you think these behaviors are happening and what your child can do instead.

Just as I was writing this, one of my sons told me that he feels like he hears noise when I speak but for some reason, he doesn’t always make sense of the meaning behind what I’m saying. He has always been extremely self-aware so he continued by saying that he’s pretty sure it’s his ADHD. We were then able to discuss what I could do so he could hear me better and what changes he could make to ensure the information was processed.

3. Watch Your Tone!

This part deserves an exclamation point because it’s so easy to overlook. When speaking to your child or correcting behavior, don’t only pay attention to your words but HOW you are saying them and what you look like when you are talking.

Side Note: Have you ever done the mirror trick? Next time you are angry or frustrated, run to a mirror to see what you look like. That may be the ticket you need to change your demeanor or simply laugh at yourself. It works for me!

Kids pick up on the nonverbal cues much more than the words that are spoken to them. My husband always says he can’t be this little happy fairy with a sweet voice when things need to get done. However, he’s learning that his tone of voice really affects whether or not our boys listen to him and correct their behavior. It’s like that infamous meme of a mom’s voice turning into Batman’s voice. Ya, let’s try not to get to that point because it doesn’t usually help our cause.

4. Proactively Connect

It sounds so simple and yet can feel so hard.

Once you get in the habit of jumping to connecting first to respond instead of react, I promise, it will become second nature.

There are many ways you can connect with a child before, during, and after a storm that I will discuss in a separate post.

In general, though, a great way to check in with your kids on a consistent basis to build a strong foundation of connection is to have Family Meetings. I can not express how much these have helped our family in so many ways.

Discussing rules, values and our calendar every week has decreased misbehaviors, increased a positive family culture, allowed our kids to feel like they matter and more importantly connected with us in a way that will be pretty stinking hard to break. I dare you (I’m totally kidding because I completely cower in the face of conflict).

If you want to start Family Meetings and don’t know where to start, you can download my free Family Meeting Agenda here! or by filling out the form below.

What Are the Ways You Connect?

I would love to see how you connect with your kids. Tag me on social media or send me a private message. If you found this article helpful in correcting behavior, please feel free to share by using the share buttons below.

December 6, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 34 Comments

How To Destress Your Mornings With Kids

I’m so excited to feature Sierra, a content creator for The Zebra. It is a site that compares auto insurance quotes for users! She wrote this article on how to destress your mornings with kids by using routines.

I’m all about routines over here. Because of them, I’m thankful we’re even to the point where my kids need basically ZERO involvement from me in the morning. At only ages 7 and 10, they wake themselves up, make and eat breakfast, pack lunches, brush teeth, do hair, pack backpacks and bike themselves a mile to school. These tips below are a great start to helping your kids become self-sufficient. In turn, there is no stress in the morning!

This post contains affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

No one wants to begin the morning in a high-spirited argument over the need to brush your teeth or eat breakfast. Clashing on how things run in the morning is truly the worst. Everyone can be groggy and grumpy when they should be getting geared up. What should be a good time to bond with your child, for many of us, can become a huge battle. That’s why you need to destress your mornings with kids.

For many parents during the week, that brief time in the morning is the only chance they get to interact with their children before dinner. Of course, we would all love to fill that time with positive support instead of yelling about where a shoe may have gone.

There’s no doubt that making that time more cooperative, instead of combative, can hugely alter a parent-child relationship.

Problems in the morning usually stem from a lack of preparedness and a difficulty in keeping up with very specific duties that must be accomplished before going to school. By codifying the actions you and your children take (and doing as much as you can beforehand) it is possible to recraft the morning into the engaging and beneficial time that it should be.

It Starts With The Night Before

The best way to have a more organized morning is to strategize the previous evening. Every puzzle piece you put into place the night before is something that you won’t have to think about the next day.

Discuss Plans At Dinner

There are many proven positive effects of sitting down to a family dinner. Research has shown that families that sit down to dinner have children with higher self-esteem, improved academic performance, and even lower obesity rates.

Another benefit that studies may have not covered is one that helps you destress your mornings with kids. When you have a chance to sit down as a family, it is a great time to discuss the plan for the following day in detail. Not only will this give you a strategy for setting up for tomorrow, including thinking of things like instruments that need to be packed away or assignments that are due, but it also may have your child opening up to you about things in school that you might otherwise have missed.

For many children, putting a schedule on a board helps them get centered for the day ahead. If you have space, get a large chalkboard or paint a chalkboard wall as a great place to keep a daily schedule to refer to after dinner.

destress your mornings with kids by packing lunch at night

Prep Lunches

If you want the morning to run more smoothly, part of your routine for the evening should be cleaning up, doing dishes and making lunches. Give your children responsibility over their lunches as soon as is possible to give them some empowerment on what they are eating.

Note from Adriane: By signing up for my newsletter, you will receive a free Lunchbox List of Food Ideas so your kids can pack their own lunches! My kids started in First Grade!

If you have young children, they may feel more like a hindrance than a help with getting things ready. Even if this is the case, they will benefit more from being part of this task than if you did it for them. This is how kids learn!

A great tip that works well is to have your child pick what he would like to pack and also decided how he wants you to help. You can make the sandwich, but have him or her bag it up and place it in the lunch box. Using Bentgo-like lunch containers make it even easier to split up the work because you can do one of the sections and your child do the other two.

Older kids can be given the chore of crafting their own lunches as part of their evening work. And remember, if they don’t pack what you like, that’s THEIR choice! Make sure you provide healthy options or set limits on what is and isn’t allowed.

Pull Out Clothes

With many children, waiting for them to get “acceptable” clothes on is a huge chunk of the morning wasted. Whether it’s a favorite shirt or the right pants, many kids will float back and forth before making their decisions (leaving you with a pile of clean clothes all over their room). Instead of putting all that on your morning you can get some of this out of the way in the night before.

For those with younger children, help them pick out clothes during pajama time. This also allows you to avoid that awful moment when your child realizes that the shirt they wanted to wear is dirty or currently in the wash. If your child also requires uniforms or gym clothes to be ready, you can make sure these are ready and even put a bag in the car rather than waiting until the last minute.

For many of us, shoes are an additional issue. Have your kids put shoes in the same place every day so you don’t have to endure a yelling battle over lost shoes.

Focus on Sleep

The National Sleep Foundation says that children should get about 10 hours of sleep per night to foster the best brain development.

Thinking back from the time your child needs to get up to get to school on time means that if she has a 6:30am alarm, she should be getting to sleep around 8:30pm. This is a struggle for any parent, but doing what we can to get children off to bed means creating beneficial evening habits.

It’s best to shut the screens off at least an hour before they hit the pillow because the harsh blue light suppresses the melatonin needed to get quality rest. Take that time to read to little children and encourage teens to grab a book rather than sit on their ipads. At the same time, you can start lowering lights to stimulate melatonin.

If your children have trouble sleeping, consider creating the best nighttime environment that is conducive to rest.

These work great:

Blackout curtains create darkness signaling to the brain that it’s time to sleep.
Some sounds can be very soothing and the addition of a whirring fan, or adding a white or pink noise machine, to their nighttime routine can help them calm down enough to fall asleep.
Temperature control is important. Keep it as comfortably cool as you can in your child’s room.
Use a diffuser or other method to promote fragrances that help with sleep.

A good night of sleep can easily destress your mornings with kids.

5 Ways to Have a Successful Morning With No Yelling

When everyone gets up, having a routine to reference will make everything run more smoothly.

Start With Time For You

If you can, try to rise about 15 minutes or so before everyone else and take some time to breathe.

Yoga or some stretching exercises can help center you before your day begins, but it can be just as helpful and grounding to sit with a cup of coffee for a moment before the morning fun.

Make Wake Up Time Calming

Try to leave enough time in the morning to make wake-ups as gentle as possible. With younger children, having time to cuddle a bit makes for a much nicer morning. For older kids, raising the lights slowly, maybe with some soothing music accompanying, puts less of a shock on wake-up time.

Or better yet, let them choose their own alarm clock and give them the responsibility of getting up completely on their own!

Create A Morning Routine

Put together an easy-to-follow plan of how things go. This will is a surefire destress your mornings with kids. Starting with your child making the bed is a good way to set the tone for the morning ahead.

Then keep things in an established order: getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing teeth, finding shoes, and getting last minute things ready for school all should be followed in the same order every day. This way there is never any confusion and it sets up good and clear habits.

To help your family get out the door, try using a morning or evening checklist from The Zebra so everyone leaves the house on time and safely. Kids can check off their routine and you can even offer special points or incentives to keep them getting all of their checks.

Read Next: 6 Steps to Master a School Morning Routine for Kids (on The Zebra’s website)

Load Up On Protein

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but how often do you go with only a bowl of cereal?

While grains are great, trying to get kids in the habit of having protein at breakfast will pay off in the long run. Higher protein foods like eggs and yogurt are good for keeping kids focused and will keep them fuller longer.

Adding fruits and vegetables and limiting sugar is a good plan as well. It’s also crucial to be hydrated in the morning.

Expect the Unexpected

With kids, of course, you have to realize that all of your carefully laid plans can change in an instant. The best thing you can do to destress your mornings with kids is to be flexible when things don’t go exactly as you anticipate.

Giving yourself the time, and preparing in advance will mean you have the latitude to take on anything that comes up.

Being prepared will turn your mornings into a better time for bonding with your kids. It may just mean changing the way you think of the evening and turning it into a time for preparations for tomorrow.

AUTHOR BIO:

Sierra Skelly is a content creator for The Zebra who develops helpful and compelling stories. Her passion for digital marketing and creative writing has led her to cover unique topics ranging from business to lifestyle. She calls San Diego, CA home and enjoys crafting, decorating and traveling in her spare time.

December 2, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 32 Comments

How Moms Can Be Nice To Their Kids (And Reduce Stress) During the Holidays

Last year around the beginning of December, I was sitting with a group of moms. Between the seven of us, we had 26 kids! As we started to talk about what was going on in our lives, I could see the exhaustion and even a little sadness on some of my friends’ faces. Then a few said similar things, “It’s really hard for me to be nice to my kids around the holidays. How can us moms reduce stress during the holidays? Please pray I can find patience.”

Christmas brings an abundance of joy, but it also can bring a whole lot of stress.

The schedule seems to fill up super fast.

Diet can be thrown off because it’s too hard to resist all that yummy holiday food.

Family can make things better or let’s be honest, complicate life a little more than usual.

There may be a ton more travel involved, by car, plane or boat! Okay, maybe not by boat unless your super close to water.

And there are a whole lot of to-do lists making our sleep suffer.

It can feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get all the shopping, baking and activities finished. Then, on top of all that, we are expected to have enough mental capacity to be patient and kind to our kids.

What Causes Parents to Snap?

In order to help moms reduce stress during the holidays, we need to figure out where this is coming from. Why are we quick to snap or yell at our kids, especially during the hap, hap, happiest Christmas (name that movie…and I stopped there because I’m not a fan of vulgar language 😉)?

I will do a post that digs a little deeper into why parents get angry in general but for now, it’s good to have a basic understanding.

Here are the main reasons why you can get angry or unkind to your kids during the holidays:

Taking things too personally

There are usually a lot more activities, events, and family visits this time of year and if our kids are not behaving perfectly, we take on that stress. Or we start to forget how to connect and jump on the correction-only train making our kids’ behavior spiral even more out of control.

Hyper-vigilance

As moms, we are always scanning the premises to detect a threat. Let’s face it, during this time of year there can be a lot of threats caused by lack of sleep, poor diet, too much excitement, and the list could go on.

Expectations

Even if we don’t mean to, we can unintentionally set unrealistic expectations for how our kids should behave, for how all the events and activities should go and for what Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannakuh or whatever holiday we celebrate should be like. See that word, should. Let’s throw that out of the window and let the experiences be what they are.

Lack of Rules and Limitations

It’s Thanksgiving! It’s Christmas! Hanukkah is here! We tend to let down our guard during this time and give in a little more than usual. Know the phrase, “give an inch and they take a mile?” My kids sure have taken their fair share of miles during this time of year so it’s good to be aware to reign that in because kids need structure and (positive) discipline.

Burn Out

It’s especially hard to find time to take care of ourselves during this time of year because time is fleeting. This can leave to not having anything else to give to the people who need us most.

BONUS!! If it’s hard to squeeze in one-on-one time with your kids, sign up for my newsletter to receive a FREE Quality Time Printable with over 60 activities to do with your child!

6 Things You Can Do To Be Nice To Your Kids During the Holidays

Here are six specific ways us, moms, can reduce stress during the holidays and in turn, be kind and nice to our kids!

1. Take Care of Your Mind!

Our minds are very precious commodities. We only have so much mental capacity to do so much during the day so we need to protect what we have like a treasure.

Creating mental space allows you to not react right away when situations arise. Instead, you can take that time to stop, pause, pray and breathe.

The more you can create this space, the less you will have the urge to yell, scream, and be mean to your kids. In turn, they will eventually be able to return the kindness back to you.

Behave Like the Person You Want To Be

Do you feel like your kids are driving you crazy? Act as if they aren’t.

Feel like you don’t have enough time to get everything done? Act as if you do.

Are you dreading driving a few hours to visit family? Act as if you can’t wait.

This is the key to helping us, moms, reduce stress during the holidays because there is power in reframing the way we view our circumstances.

If you sit in the negativity, that’s where you will stay. Even if you are having those feelings, stop and act as if you are on top of the world and eventually your mind will catch up.

Practice Mindfulness

It doesn’t need to take long to benefit from mindfulness. Even a few minutes a day can help bring awareness back to your mind and body so you can continue on with your day connecting and enjoying your family.

A good time I practice mindfulness is when I’m in the car, I’m rocking my toddler and I’m lying in bed at night.

Pause and take a moment to see, hear and feel your environment. Do a quick body scan to see how you are physically feeling. Lastly, check-in with your emotions, label those emotions and take note on why you are feeling that way.

Practice Gratitude

Recognizing what you are grateful for has many more benefits than just being a nice person. It can contribute to our overall mental and physical health. There are four parts of gratitude that we should make sure we teach our kids, but also pay attention to for ourselves as well.

Research shows that gratitude changes the brain for good!

At the start or end of every day, go through at least five things you are grateful for. Be specific and change the list every day. You’ll be surprised at how this makes you feel.

Also, turn your negative thoughts about a situation or person and turn into a positive. For example, if you are stressed you have to bake so many cookies for your child’s school, flip that thinking into what you grateful for in that situation. Find gratitude in being able to have a kitchen, enough money to afford to buy cookies, or be thankful that you are blessed to even have a child to make cookies for.

One last way gratitude can come to play to be nicer to our kids is by teaching it to them! I find this to be so important in parenting that I created a Gratitude Toolkit that encourages kids to be introspective and learn how to be empathic towards others.

2. Intentionally Reduce Stress

Most of what is on this list is geared to ways to help us moms reduce stress during the holidays. It’s also important to have an awareness that you may be getting stressed out so that you can nip it in the bud right away.

Very simple ways to ensure you don’t reach a toxic level of stress are to plan ahead, stick to routines and systems as best as you can, have realistic expectations, set a budget and know when it’s time to ask for help!

3. Hand Off Responsibility

Look at that perfect segue!

Another thing we can do that will help us be nice to our kids is to hand off responsibility to others. This one is really hard for me because I never want to be a burden. Many of my friends have their parents or siblings who help, but all of our extended family members live across the country from us.

It takes a lot to ask a friend who probably has kids of her own to help you out. What I have found is most people, if they can, do want to help. A friend of mine always tells me to stop taking her ability to bless me away from her.

A great way to find help is to get connected in a bible study or playgroup, make friends with an empty nester or retiree. If you can afford it, hire a babysitter or mother’s helper to help you lighten your load.

4. Focus on Your Wants

It’s okay to be selfish and focus on what you want!

How do you want this season to look? Write down all that you want to experience and accomplish this time of year. Remember not to set too high of expectations. However, it’s still good to figure out what it is that you want.

Don’t fall into the trap of being a grumpy mean mom because you feel like your opinion or feelings don’t matter. Instead, make them a priority!

moms reduce stress during the holidays by laughing

5. Give Yourself Grace and Let Loose!

It’s okay if you are not perfect!

Let me repeat that thought: “You don’t need to be perfect!”

With all of the images we are bombarded with on social media, it’s hard not to compare what we are doing for the holidays with others. It can create this sense of needing to be perfect. Have the perfect holiday photos, make the perfect Christmas dinner, get your kids the best presents, go to and do all the things. And can I mention that after being a family photographer for over 5 years that the end result most likely is NOT how the session went?

I know you’ve heard it before, but a lot of what we see is other people’s highlight reel so stop comparing your worst to their best.

I’m here to tell you that you do not need to be perfect nor do you need to strive for perfection. Enjoy every moment as it comes! Next time you felt like you just messed up, stop and be courteous to yourself and remember that you are doing the best you can and that is MORE than enough because you matter!

Read Next: How to Take Care of MYSELF with Self Care so I Can Give More to My Family

If you’re having a tough time giving yourself grace, drop everything and start dancing or singing or just let loose and find some FUN! I’m telling you dancing is the cure to most problems in my life.

6. If All Else Fails…((whisper))

I am not even kidding. This little teeny tiny tip has been life-changing.

If your house starts to get loud or it seems like no one is listening to you, stop talking or yelling and whisper.

It’s amazing how quiet it can get. Sometimes I do have to get right up in my kids’ grill so they even know I’m trying to communicate to them. When this happens, they stop, look at me like I’m crazy and then a magical thing happens! The noise reduces, my kids can hear me and somehow I get calmer and can gather my thoughts enough to be NICE!

Enjoy the Holidays and Spread Some Cheer

Remember when I said this time of year is supposed to be joyful? It really can be if we slow down. It’s much easier for us, moms, to reduce stress during the holidays and be nice to our kids when we become aware that they are only going to be two, three, four or however old this one year. It’s not worth creating negative memories because they will be gone before we know it.

Take note of when you’re starting to feel unkind.

Have a heart to heart with your children about how you want to be nice and how you love spending time with them. Tell them you are thankful and go spread some Christmas cheer together.

Here is a recap of the simple ways for moms to reduce stress during the holidays:

Take care of your mind
Intentionally reduce stress
Handoff responsibility
Focus on your wants (really, it’s okay!)
Give yourself grace and let loose
Whisper

How Are You Being Nice To Your Kids This Holiday Season?

November 23, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 46 Comments

The Ultimate List of Toys and Activity Supply Lists to Keep Your Toddler Busy

I start to cringe when I think about buying Christmas presents this year. Our two-year-old is the third kiddo which means he has a lot of superhero toys, sports equipment, games, costumes and building toys passed down from his big brothers.

We already have so much and are tapped out in space.

Then it hit me, we could get our toddler toys and supplies that will keep him busy!

activities and toy to keep your toddler busy

This post may contain affiliate links. I will make a small commission if you make a purchase through one of these links, at no extra cost to you. See my disclosure policy here.

He is slowly giving up naps on most days of the week. Insert a loud, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

It is imperative I find toys and activities to keep my toddler busy so I can remain a happy and calm mama!

My hunt began.

Because I’ve done a lot of research on the effects of technology on the brain, we don’t use that as a source of entertainment for him at all. Okay, two times. Once he wouldn’t stop playfully screaming at a restaurant that we couldn’t leave and another time I was at a school meeting that he did not want to be at so we did let him watch PBS on the iPhone.

Finding the Right Toys and Activities

My goal was to find supplies for “busy activities” that my little guy could play with needing no help from me. Also, I wanted to discover items that I could either throw in a backpack for public outings or toys that would encourage him to self-play for more than 30 minutes.

car playmat and Melissa and Doug wooden toys

There’s actually a name for it! Open-ended toys. These are toys that foster creativity, imagination and play, which is why they keep toddlers busy busy busy!

As I was coming up with this ultimate list, I discovered we actually have a lot of these kinds of toys. Some of which, I just needed to dust off. It also gave me a list of new toys and supplies we can add to the Christmas list.

toddler playing with math counting cubes

Toys That Keep Your Toddler Busy

Remember, every child is different. If you can find something that piques his or her interest, there will be a better chance of longer self-play time.

A great strategy to get to the point where your toddler will play by him or herself is to stay for a few minutes to watch the play begin then walk away. The more you do this, the more your child will become engrossed in his or her imagination.

1. Jumbo String Beads

These look great! This kind of STEM toy works on fine motor skills, colors, shapes and they can be used to work on counting as well. The holes are big enough for little fingers to minimize frustration.

I also found lower case lacing letters that use the same concept but the toddler can work on his or her sounds, letter recognition and letter order!

2. Pic n’ Mix

These toys not only keep your toddler busy but are also educational.

Your toddler will get to color sort, recognize colors, use fine motor skills and creativity to mix and match the puzzle pieces.

What I love about these is that they are made out of a safe plastic that can easily be cleaned. Lastly, this will be a perfect toy to take out to eat or during trips because of the handy dandy carrying case.

3. Magnetic Drawing Board

I totally forgot about these! When our oldest was little he had a Thomas the Train Magnetic drawing board that he loved so much. That thing is long gone so I can’t wait to get one for our youngest this year.

As with anything, there are a lot of different options for this kind of toy. Check out this video from VTech:

The Write and Learn Creative Center by VTech has some added learning features as with all of their toys.

4. Lacing and Threading Toys

We got a few of these lace and trace toys during a busy bag playdate once. These types of toys keep your toddler busy as he or she focuses on putting the lace through each hole.

Without him even knowing it, he’s working on his hand-eye coordination, motor skills, attention and planning skills along with learning his animals, letters or whatever the object is that he’s lacing.

5. Wikki Sticks

Have you seen these things before?!

Wikki Sticks are pieces of yarn covered in wax sticks making them a super quiet and clean activity for your toddler. Score!

Your little person can use his or her imagination while getting some sensory input from the feeling of the wax. Thankfully, Wikki sticks are made with safety in mind.

6. Math Linking Cubes

Over the summer, every time I would go to pick up my boys from the gym child center, they would be playing with these cubes. Intended for math and counting, my boys used them to create tops, superheroes, toy guns, buildings and whatever else their little imaginations thought up to build.

We ended up getting a set and all three of my boys spend hours playing with them.

math counting cube activities for toddlers

In the picture above, all we did was put the bin of cubes on the ground then slowly backed away. They were so cute I wish I had video! My son made a “brush” and proceeded to brush his little friend’s hair. Then they both made phones and were calling each other. All of this with zero direction from any adult. THIS is how toddlers learn and make sense of their world. Having a friend to do it with is always an added bonus of learning communication and social and emotional skills.

Oh! They can be used for their intended purpose of counting and math skills, too, of course!

7. Bristle Blocks

Bristle blocks are a great sensory building toy. My son got these for Christmas last year and the little travel case has been very convenient for when we are on the go.

I have heard that these can get caught in long hair, so use with caution.

8. Busy Boards

How fun are these toddler busy boards?!

For my son’s first birthday, his aunt got him a busy board that could be customized with pictures of our family. He’s almost three and still plays with it!

Working on those motor skills and creativity is so important and these toys help with exactly that! I love the Montessori busy cube, too!

9. Squigz

We have Froogz which I would’ve linked but I couldn’t find them on Prime. Squigz are basically the same thing. Regardless of the name, this toy is very fun for toddlers once they can get the pieces to create a suction.

Living in Arizona, our floors are all hard surfaces so they stick quite well to our tile. Our two-year-old also likes to stick them to our stainless steel fridge in our kitchen and our fridge in the camper.

Another way to play with these toys is to suction the pieces together! These are toys that keep your toddler busy for a good chunk of time.

Once your toddler can do it on his or her own, a lot of self-play action happens!

10. Wooden Blocks

You can never go wrong with classic wooden blocks. These have lasted us for over nine years. Even after being played with a lot, they are still in great shape. Surprisingly, the wooden box they came in is still in perfect condition too!

classic wooden blocks for toddlers to stay busy

In addition to these, Melissa and Doug has many other wooden building toys that complement the blocks perfectly. The construction vehicles are great because they are puzzle-like and have stickers on the bottom to show the child what pieces go together.

Lastly, this car carpet playmat is a perfect addition to spark more imagination. It’s great for our house because we have zero carpeted floors and the tile and wood get a little cool on the tush. Double score!

11. Felt Storyboards

Do you remember these from Sunday School growing up? Or maybe it was just our class that did them. I loved watching the teacher tell stories through felt.

My brother got this for my boys a few years ago for Christmas and again, it’s a toy that has not disappointed. We have even used it for our FOCUS time and on long car trips to go camping.

Our toddler is just starting to understand the concept. He loves to make the people do funny things. Whatever keeps him busy!

12. Reusable Sticker pads

Stickers are great but they can stick to things you don’t want them to such as clothes that get washed and become ruined.

These reusable sticker pads by Melissa & Doug have been very durable and easy to take with us.

With the different scenes, a whole lot of creativity is used. Also, those fine motor skills are put to use as the toddler pulls the sticker up and places it on the mat.

Activities To Keep Toddlers Busy (with Supply Lists)!

In addition to toys, I wanted to come up with a list of supplies I could throw into a bag or put out on the counter and let my toddler get (and stay) busy! Most of these are inspired by or are activities directly from other bloggers. Check out the full activities from the other sites by going to the links provided.

We tested a few of the activities with TWO toddlers. They did a little solo self-play and created together. I love this age!

1. Sorting Activities

Activity from Teaching Mama

Have your toddler sort items such as fuzzy pom-poms by putting them in a divided tray or small containers. You can get creative and label each of the sections with say, an animal, color or number.

Supply List:

2. Pipe Cleaner Activities

Activities from Teaching Mama, How Wee Learn, The Imagination Tree, And Next Comes L Frogs and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails, Speak, Play, Love and Hands On As We Grow

Who knew pipe cleaners were so perfect for little hands?! The possibilities are endless!

If you are on Pinterest, I’m sure you have seen the pipe cleaner colander activity! It’s super simple and toddlers love it! The pipe cleaners fit perfectly into the holes of a colander. The more holes, the better.

There are even more interesting and entertaining ways toddlers and preschoolers can use pipe cleaners! I found many ideas from activity bloggers including:

Button trees – Simply stick the pipe cleaners in the holes of the buttons. You can wrap a few of the pipe cleaners together to form trees to make it a little more fun.

pipe cleaner button trees for preschoolers

Pipe-cleaners, clothespins – clip together, wrap the popsicle sticks, or toddlers can do whatever their creative hearts desire.
Cardboard tube threading activity – Use the pipe cleaners to connect the cut toilet paper rolls.
Pipe-cleaners and pasta coral reef (idea was inspired from this fine motor activity) – Take balls of play dough to use as a stand. Stick the pipe-cleaners into the playdough then stick them through the holes of penne pasta. The kids loved this activity and said it looked like coral! And our little friend skipped the pipe cleaners and stuck the pasta straight into the play dough which worked well, too!

pipe cleaners, pasta and playdough toddler activity

make a coral reef out of pipe cleaners, playdough and penne pasta

Pool noodles and pipe cleaner structures – Cut the pool noodles to make small pieces. Then use the pipe cleaners to stack the cut noodles.
Pipe cleaners and recycled plastic containers – a fine motor skill activity putting pipe cleaners into holes of a plastic lid.
Contact paper art – Tape the contact paper to a flat surface with the sticky side up and let your toddler put whatever items he or she wants to. These toddlers really liked this activity! They made monster faces and then had fun throwing the pom poms into the air to see what would stick.

Supply List:

Pipe Cleaners
Collander
Big Buttons
Penne Pasta and playdough
Clothespins and popsicle sticks
Toilet paper rolls (found in your bathroom!)
Contact paper, googly eyes, beads and pom poms, tape – I found tape with the CUTEST patterns!
Recycled plastic container – Gerber little crunchies canisters work great, cottage cheese containers or anything with a plastic lid.
Pool noodles – You can buy full noodles and cut them or buy them already cut!

3. Ice Cube Fun

Activity ideas from Twins Mommy, Busy Toddler, Beauty Through Imperfection and Things to Share and Remember

I love the idea of giving your toddler ice for so many reasons. There’s a sensory aspect to it, cause and effect (what happens when the ice is out of the freezer too long) amongst whatever else you want to add to it.

This can be as simple as dumping a bunch of ice into a tray or bin and letting your toddler or preschooler go crazy! Or you can get a little more creative using ice cube-shaped trays, plastic animals and fun scoopers.

Sometimes activities using a non-toy item beats toys that keep your toddler busy. And it’s much cheaper!

You can also add more creativity to make this activity last a little longer.

Ice Cube Activity Ideas:

Painting icecubes
Freezing plastic toys inside the ice
Making paint cubes to paint
Scooping the cubes into bins of water. So simple but oh so fun for your little one!

And if you want to do more ice activities for kids of all ages, check out this Winter Ice p ost by Stacy at Things to Remember and Share.

Supply List:

Ice cube trays – regular or fun shapes or silicone cupcake liners work great!
Trays (we LOVE these!!!) or storage container
Small plastic toys (we used animals and dinos)
Paper
Paint, no-spill containers and large paint brushes
Handy scoopers or plastic measuring cups

4. Felt Activities

Activity ideas from Toddler Approved, Happy Hooligans, Powerful Mothering

Last but not least, there are so many creative ways you can use felt to keep your toddler busy! The texture of the felt feels good on little hands and the colors are an added bonus.

The one catch with using this material is the additional prep work such as cutting or poking holes. However, once you have done the work, you can store the materials in small bins for easy grab and play activities. It’s like having homemade toys that keep your toddler busy.

Simple Felt Activity Ideas:

Button Snake – cut holes in small pieces of felt, attach a large button at the end of a ribbon, then thread the ribbon through holes of the felt.
Felt Caterpillar – have your child make a caterpillar by putting felt circles on a bigger piece of felt.
Crazy Straw Felt Activity – Cut small circles or other shapes like squares and hearts out of felt. Next, cut a small slit in the middle. Give to your toddler so he or she can slide the felt shapes onto the crazy straws.

Supply List:

Felt
Big button
Wide ribbon
Googly eyes
Crazy straws (…totally random but I found these super fun drinking straws with connectors that can be used for science or a made-up game!)

Go Get Busy!

Now I’m exhausted and all I did was search and write..and I guess, take pictures of two super adorable toddlers!

A great tip to pull all of this together is to have a closet designated for all the busy toys and bins with the activity supplies divided and ready to go.

Also remember that when toddlers have too many things to play with at once, they tend to play less because it’s overwhelming to their developing brains. Give your toddler one toy or activity at a time and keep the supplies for the activities to a minimum!

Lastly, to get your toddler to want to play on his or her own, encourage through strengths, not through saying, “Good job!”

To help you discover what your little person’s strengths are, I created an Encouragement through Strengths Printable free for you to download when you sign up for my newsletter!

What Am I Missing?

Do you have any great toys or activities that keep your toddler busy? If so, comment below!

November 10, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 62 Comments

10 Tips for Raising Grateful Kids

My two-year-old learned the phrase, “thank you” as soon as he could speak. Anytime someone does something nice for him, gives him something or does what he asks, he responds with the absolute cutest, “tank you.” And my older boys follow suit. It sure makes me feel like I am raising grateful kids.

Then, I realized that although they say those words that it’s not always followed up with action or a grateful heart or even attitude. At first, I thought it was mainly because of entitlement but found out that there are other reasons as well.

This post contains affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

My husband and I want to raise grateful kids who are thoughtful, compassionate, and happy. I think many parents have these same goals.

The question is then, how do we do this?

First, we need to break down what gratitude is.

For You! Sign up for my newsletter and receive a FREE Gratitude toolkit including Gratitude Poster, Random Acts of Kindness cards, Dinnertime Reflection cards, and a few worksheets that teach empathy!

The Four Parts of Gratitude

When you think about gratitude, you probably think of teaching your child to say, “thank you”, at appropriate times. However, gratitude is a little more than that.

As part of the Raising Grateful Children project at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill, the researchers found that parents are really good at telling their kids what to do to show gratitude but often neglect to teach the other three parts.

I’m sure you have said it a time or two…“Now, what do you say?”

Gratitude can be broken down into four parts:

1. NOTICE – Simply take note of all that there is to be thankful for.

Use a gratitude journal, and give thanks at the dinner table or on the drive to school.

Ask: “What do you currently have in your life you are thankful for?” And “Is there something more to be thankful for than just the material item such as someone thinking about you when they bring you a gift?”

2. THINK – Take time to think about why you have the things, people, and experiences in your life.

The best time to do this is when you are having quality time together, around the dinner table, during a family meeting, or when someone does something kind.

Encourage your kids to think about these things on their own as they go on with their day.

Ask: “Do you think you earned this gift?” “What was the motive of the giver?” “Do you think every child gets to have these experiences?” “Do you think you deserved to do that or receive that gift?” “What do you think about reciprocating the gift to the person who gave that to you?”

3. FEEL – Get in touch with how the things you are most thankful for make you feel.

Have a conversation as soon as a child is given a gift or experience. You can even have your child close his or her eyes and really get in touch with how a gift or experience makes him or her feel.

Ask: “How does that make you feel?” “What part of that experience makes you the happiest?” “What kinds of feelings do you have when you think about that gift?”

4. DO – Say and take action to express gratitude.

Explaining to kids what they can do to thank someone usually happens at the moment, but can also be done anytime. Make a habit of creating thank you cards or gifts of gratitude when your child receives something.

Engaging in paying it forward or random acts of kindness is another great way to do this.

Ask: “What can you do or say to let the giver know you are thankful?” “Getting that gift makes you happy! Do you think you would want someone else to feel that way? How would you do that?”

This is a helpful video that walks you through discussions with your kid from The Greater Good Science Center. Check out more of their videos here.

It’s important to look at all of these for raising grateful kids who spread joy in the world and who become better humans and personally benefit from this daily practice.

Read Next: The Importance of Quality Time

The Loss of Gratitude Over Time

The reason why it’s important to be mindfully aware of what it is that you are grateful for is that the emotional connection tends to wear off. This is something called hedonic adaptation.

Great emotions like joy and happiness or even loss and sadness dwindle over time.

This explains why kids are so excited to receive a toy but then within a few days or months (or sometimes even hours, right?!), they barely touch it.

It’s not that they don’t appreciate it, they just become used to it and the excitement goes away. Doing a toy rotation can help minimize this hedonic adaptation and keep you from feeling like you need to buy new toys constantly.

According to Greater Good Magazine, “research suggests that some degree of scarcity and restraint is more conducive to happiness.” This is good to keep in mind as we dive into all the ways we can teach and practice gratitude with our children.

raising grateful kids by teaching empathy

The Top 10 Ways to Teach Gratitude to Kids

With all the reasons why we don’t have grateful kids, and why gratitude is so important to our own state of being and our children’s, I wanted to know,

What can we do to make sure we are raising grateful kids?

1. Model the Behavior

This should be NUMBER one on any top list involving parenting. The single most important thing we can do is model what we want our children to learn and do.

We can talk the talk but what matters is that we walk the walk. Amiright?

If we are never thanking people or are constantly grumbling, our kids will probably follow suit regardless of the words we tell them.

During your day-to-day, find ways to express gratitude toward others. Thank someone who opens the door for you, say, “thank you” to people who let you go in front of them while driving (even though the other driver can’t even hear you; because your kids can!), or return someone’s cart at the grocery store.

When something goes wrong, verbally express the good that came from that situation.

2. Talk About Gratitude

Lately, I’ve been greeting my kids in the morning with, “I’m thankful to see your smile this morning.” Also, “I’m thankful to be your mom.” The more they see that I’m truly thankful for them, the more they will return that feeling to me and others.

Use all the questions listed under the four parts of gratitude to spark conversations. I flat-out tell my kids about what is and isn’t beneficial for their brain development.

3. Volunteer and Give Back

Put your words into action by giving your children opportunities to serve and give to others.

Volunteer at a local nonprofit or better yet, take your children on a service trip.

Most people who go outside of the country to make a change say they are the ones who come back changed.

I’ve been taking my oldest to the homeless shelter to read to the kid residents. The experience has been far more impactful than I realized it would be. He is being exposed to what homelessness really looks like, not just what he assumed. Some of the kids who walk in that door don’t smell clean and are wearing clothes and shoes that are three sizes too big. However, some kids come in looking just like him with electronics in their pockets.

Seeing how others are living and thinking about and discussing their living situation has changed my son’s perspective about his own life. Every single time we get back in our van, his heart nearly bursts and explodes with joy. His experience doesn’t just end there, either. It has led to so many incredible conversations and actions of generosity.

AND because of his actions, his brother has grown in empathy by wanting to give back as well. Because he isn’t old enough to volunteer, he took it upon himself to do a book drive in his class and collected over five bags of books!

4. Create Gratitude Habits

Weave gratitude into your daily life!

Here are some very simple ideas of habits that can lead to raising grateful kids.

Gratitude Journal

Every night before bed, write down three things that went well that day (even if it was a horrible day) and what you are thankful for. Turning negatives into positives is very impactful on the brain. Or if it’s too much to write it down, simply state three things!

Dinner Conversations

Every night before we start eating, we say a prayer and thank God for all the good (and not-so-good) things happening in our lives. Occasionally, each child goes around and names something they are thankful for.

Because I wanted to get more consistent with this, I created a Daily Reflection Card. It’s free for you to download as part of the Gratitude Toolkit. We want to start using these as a way to discuss the good, the challenging, and something we did that was thoughtful during our day.

PS: And to clarify in the picture below: It says, “legos ssssss. I’m a ssssnake,” because something else might jump out at you!)

Use Pictures

If your kid has a phone, text a picture each week of something that you appreciate. My kids have watches like this so I text thankful reminders. This can spark bigger conversations on the topics of gratitude!

A friend of mine said she printed a photo I took of a cactus with bright fuschia flowers. She has it on a bookshelf she sees as soon as she wakes up every day. As she gets out of bed, she uses the photo as a reminder to think about things she’s grateful for. How sweet is that?!

Car Conversations

Another great time to list what you are grateful for is when everyone is trapped in the car! Listening to Christian radio helps initiate conversation. Another idea is to develop a habit. Before you put the car into drive, have everyone mention something they are thankful for.

5. Savor

You have probably heard of this word in terms of savoring food, but did you know you can savor almost anything you experience?

Savoring is when you become mindfully engaged and aware of your feelings during positive events.

When you do this, your joy and happiness increase. Savoring can also improve relationships, better physical and emotional health, and increase creativity.

There are many ways to do this!

Create Mental Pictures

Teach your child to stop and become mentally aware of positive experiences.

Is your child having the time of his life at a soccer game? Encourage him to stop and think about how he feels. Mentally record the reactions of the other players, what it felt like to kick the ball, and even what the weather and atmosphere were like that day.

When my kids make their toddler brother giggle, I tell them to record that memory in their minds. By encouraging them to close their eyes, I have them think about what it sounds like and how that giggle makes them feel. Then when they open their eyes to see their brother’s adorable little face, they record what he looks like in their minds.

I did this a lot when that little guy was born. After having a rough pregnancy with extreme morning sickness and overwhelming amounts of sadness, his presence quickly became a time of joy that I didn’t want to forget.

Fully Experience Every Sense

It’s been fun to watch how this has impacted my son who is naturally pessimistic and suffers from anxiety. I encourage him to focus on one sense while thinking positively.

An easy way to do this is to cook and eat a favorite meal. While cooking, have your child hone in on his or her smelling sense by closing her eyes. Take a deep breath in to really enjoy that smell. Then when it’s finished, stare at the food to appreciate what it looks like. If they like textures, the food can also be savored while chewing and lastly, they can zero in on the yummy taste.

Compare the Experience

Get your child to look outside of her world and compare what she’s experiencing to others. Does she come to you saying she’s bored because she doesn’t have anything to play with?

Remind her that there are children who have no toys and to be grateful for what she does have. Or better yet, take her to donate a toy to one of those kids.

raising grateful kids reading about empathy

6. Read Books About Gratitude and Reciprocity

Research has shown that reciprocity of kind acts is not natural or instinctual. Instead, it must be taught.

A simple way to do this is to read a book that teaches this concept or simply show how you return kindness and gratitude.

We love this book, “Do Unto Otters” by Laurie Keller!

There are many other books that teach gratitude in a fun way.

7. Mental Subtraction

Experts suggest you take at least one day a week to do this practice. I think spending every Sunday night with your child would be a perfect time!

Encourage your child to think of a very joyous event such as when he got a new puppy, had a special time with grandma, won an award or trophy, etc. Then help him process what it took to get to make that event or experience possible.

Next, write down how it could’ve gone differently or what could have stood in the way of it happening.

Lastly, have your child shift his or her focus to remembering that the event actually did occur and that it wasn’t something that was for sure going to happen. Help them realize choices had to be made and certain circumstances had to fall in line to follow God’s plan. Remind them THAT is something to be thankful for.

8. Teach Empathy

“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

Empathy is about seeing other people’s perspectives but ALSO caring about that person.

This idea goes hand in hand with emotional intelligence and can lead to so many positive things in a little person’s life such as forming strong relationships, developing acceptance for others, developing good mental health, creating high levels of happiness, and reducing toxic stress.

According to Goodstart Early Learning, “Building an understanding of what others are feeling, how their own actions can impact others, and why someone might be experiencing feelings at a particular time is a valuable life skill for children to possess.” And I believe it leads to raising grateful kids.

Fun Ways to Teach Empathy

Point to and Mimic Emotions. We do this a lot with our toddler! Any time a child is crying at the store or someone is angry in our house, our little guy labels that emotion. When we leave the situation, I ask him to mimic that child so he can get an understanding of the emotion.
Role Play. Act out different scenarios of people with different emotions.
Point Out Animal Emotions. This one can be fun. Dogs and cats can be quite expressive so ask your child what kind of emotion she thinks she is experiencing. And if you don’t have a pet, point out animals you see outside or go to the zoo. How is the lion feeling today?
Talk About Feelings. You want to ask your child how they feel about a situation, but if that’s not working, express how you felt about a certain situation when you were his age.
Make a Feelings Collage. Take your old magazines and have your child cut out the people. Then under each photo, label how that person is feeling.
Play a Game. Find a fun game that promotes empathy and understanding feelings. Here are a few I found on Amazon:

family playing board games to teach gratitude

A gift for you! I have created a Gratitude Toolkit which includes two worksheets that encourage and teach empathy! Click here to sign up for the newsletter and receive the toolkit for free!

9. Give Your Kids Responsibilities

I love this quote,

“Do not do for a child what he can do for himself.”

teaching responsibility leads to thankfulness

The reason is that when you do, you’re taking away so much. Not only a sense of competence but the ability for your child to fail and more importantly, learn.

We are all about giving our kids autonomy in this house which includes instilling the value of hard work to help and support each other.

If you are still doing your child’s laundry, packing his lunch, waking him up for school, and doing everything else for him, start small.

Chores and Contributions

Maybe begin with one chore a week. Let your child pick the time, day, and task. When kids feel like they are in charge, they are more likely to want to help.

One of my boys loves dusting and doing laundry because he gets to be in control of when and how he does it! I also show gratitude and thank him for helping me so I can spend more time with him to do fun activities! See what I did there, I’m modeling gratitude also while ensuring my child isn’t becoming entitled.

Routines

Help your kids come up with morning and evening routines so they can follow them without your help. I let my kids pick the order of their routines, made these awesome charts, laminated them, and hung them on our command center corkboard.

It has reduced the nagging so much and allows my kids to be thankful they can make their own choices and get themselves ready for school and bed without having to rely on me or my husband.

BONUS! Sign up for my newsletter and receive FREE routine charts!

Tools

A great way to help your kids take responsibility and in turn, learn how to be grateful for the privileges they have is to give them tools. We use timers for so many different things from homework to chores to screen time.

Our boys also wake up using an alarm clock. After spending a ton of time reading and seeing what praise and rewards were doing to our kids, we threw all the sticker charts away. There are lots of other tools, mental and physical, that kids can use to become self-motivated and competent.

10. Teach Humility

Gratitude is born of humility, for it acknowledges the giftedness of the creation and the benevolence of the Creator. This recognition gives birth to acts marked by attention and responsibility. Ingratitude, on the other hand, is marked by hubris, which denies the gift, and this always leads to inattention, irresponsibility, and abuse.

~Mark T. Mitchell, Professor of Political Science at Patrick Henry College in Virgini

In order to overcome ingratitude, our kids need to understand how to be humble. This allows our kids to turn outside of themselves.

A truly humble person understands that the life he or she has been given is a gift rather than a right. Humility protects them from expecting to get everything they want without thinking anything needs to be owed in return.

And yet, humility is NOT natural.

Teaching your kids to be humble is a lot of ways the same as all the ways to teach them gratitude. In addition, talk about it and call them out when they are acting as if their poo doesn’t stink. But of course, do it in a connective non-shaming way.

Gratitude Changes Everything

Remember, we have the power to encourage compassion, kindness, empathy, and happiness in our children’s lives. The number one way to make sure you are raising grateful kids is to teach them how to express gratitude for all they have and get to do.

In summary, here are the Top 10 Ways to Teach Gratitude to ensure we are raising grateful kids:

Model
Talk About Thankfulness
Volunteer/Give back
Create Gratitude Habits
Savor
Read books about Gratitude
Do Mental Subtraction Exercises
Teach Empathy
Give Your Kids Responsibilities
Teach Humility

Don’t Forget! Your Free Gratitude Toolkit

I created a gratitude toolkit to help you with raising grateful kids. It includes:

A fill-in-the-blank gratitude poster
A FUN worksheet to teach your child about emotions and how others feel
A worksheet to help your child understand what his or her strengths are in understanding others and what he or she can improve upon.
Daily reflection cards for the whole family
Random acts of kindness hearts to help your children find ways to bless others

What Are Ways You Teach Gratitude?

Do you have a daily practice or volunteer? Do you feel like you are raising grateful kids? I’d love to hear all about it! Comment below or email me at adriane@raisingkidswithpurpose.com!

August 7, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 8 Comments

30 FUN Strategy and Board Games for Families

Pretend play was totally my thing growing up. I would play “house” for hours in my friend’s basement. We played every version you could think of and even played “college”! I didn’t even have a need to play board games.

mom and sons playing eye found it board game

This post contains affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

I have the best memories of setting up a fake living or dorm room. In “house”, I was usually the mom because let’s say, I was a tad bossy as a kid having two (a lot) younger siblings.

The “kids” would cry. I would be there to take care of them. Dinner would hypothetically burn. I would make something new. There was never an issue with coming up with stories.

Now that I’m a real mom, pretend and “play” is really hard for me. I can’t seem to come up with ideas. Or my kids correct me because I’m not doing it right.

It’s as if my busy day-to-day activities and “to do” lists have tampered with my imagination. Or maybe I left Neverland and grew up.

Knowing how important play is to my children’s development and even more importantly, the connections I can create with them during that time, I needed to find an alternative. Instead of playing “house”, my kids enjoy playing with superheroes, cardboard creations, fake homemade weapons, and cops and robbers.

The problem is I don’t have a “good guy fights crime” bone in my body. Although, I give it my all, which is often quite comical.

Read More: Should Kids Play With Toy Guns?

What I’ve found that I can easily do is PLAY games! I have always loved board games from playing Monopoly with my family to hours of SkipBo with my roommates in college.

Now games are something I can engage in to create connection.

The Benefits of Playing Board Games

Regardless if you have a child who is easy or hard to play with, playing strategy and board games teach many life lessons.

Side Note: For those “sore losers”, check out this article from Rachel Norman of A Mother Far From Home about why kids can be sore losers and what to do about it.

“…a child needs to feel the thrill of ‘winning’. Then, when they have that feeling, they’re okay with losing because it doesn’t threaten their identity.”

From learning how to work hard towards a goal, how to follow rules, what success and disappointment feel like, playing games has loads of benefits.

Interactions from playing games help little brains (and even big brains) develop, change and grow stronger.

This is How Board Games Benefit Developing Brains:

Improves Memory

It is believed through research that kids who have more enriching experiences have more growth in the cerebral cortex. This is the part of the brain that covers the cerebrum which is responsible for perceiving, thinking, producing, and understanding language.

Increases Immunity

Just like exercise, sleep and a healthy diet, playing a board game can also keep you healthy!

Positive thoughts, a grateful attitude, and laughter occur during gameplay. AND these things attribute to a boosted immune system because they release chemicals that fight off stress. This also extends the life of your brain cells that help fight off disease.

We have some crazy powerful biochemicals in our brains!

Creates Lifelong Memories

If you played games as a kid, I’m sure you have incredible memories. Whether those memories include laughter and fun or sadness and obstacles that you had to learn to overcome, they all shape who you are today.

Allows Kids (and You) To Disconnect

Playing old school board games is a great way to escape screens. Engaging in eye contact while playing helps kids learn social-emotional skills that are not learned while playing on a device.

Develops Executive Function

Neural pathways in the prefrontal cortex are changed when a child plays. When they don’t play, they remain the same. This is important for executive functioning such as organizing time, solving problems, having self-regulation and making good decisions (source).

Aids with MANY Different Types of Learning

This is a no-brainer.

See what I did there? Ha!

Anytime a game is played, learning is happening. Here is a list of skills board games can teach kids (depending on the type of game):

Fine and Gross Motor Skills
Hand-eye Coordination
Dexterity
The Basics – Colors, Numbers, Shapes and Letters
Strategic Thinking
Self Regulation, Emotional Regulation and Self-Management
Relationship Skills
Processing Speed
Goal-Directed Behavior
Decision Making
How to Use Strengths
Language
Reading and Comprehension
Analytical Skills
Logical and Reasoning Skills
Attention and Focusing Skills
Problem-Solving Skills

Makes Learning Fun

There are so many board games for every age that teach skills from basic colors, numbers, and shapes to spatial and quantitative reasoning. When we play Apples to Apples, our boys are learning new words without realizing they’re being educated.

Helps With Unwanted Behavior

Another benefit of playing board games is that they can be a great remedy to unwanted behavior! Forget the time outs and isolation which can cause even more “bad” behavior, but instead, engage in a game to redirect that behavior into something positive. Win, win, WIN!

Creates Strong Connections and Family Bonds

As long as everyone is having fun, family game time is a great way to build stronger connections with each other. It can also open opportunities for further communication about what’s going on in each other’s lives without feeling forced.

In our house, our kids look forward to playing games together after our weekly Family Meeting.

Read Next: 8 Tips for Having a Family Meeting

The 30 Best Strategy and Board Games for Families

A few weeks ago, on social media, I asked for game suggestions. There were so many good ones, I thought I’d share with you as well!

Some of these games I have played but others are ones I want to try because they were recommended on Facebook or Instagram.

When buying games, pick the ones that you personally enjoy! For me, I love games that involve words because I love words. And strategy games are really fun. Now that I think about it, there really aren’t many games I don’t enjoy!

The Games We Own and Love to Play:

1. Zingo! (Up to 7 Players, Ages 4+)

This game stays in our camper because it’s perfect for in or outdoors. Similar to BINGO, each player gets a game card and must match the plastic challenge card that pops out of an easy to store holder. There are four other versions of this game that incorporate the learning of numbers, sight words, telling time and building words.

The maker of Zingo, ThinkFun has many other games on our “to buy list” for Christmas. We can’t wait to try some of their coding games.

Check this one-player game out from ThinkFun. I bet my kids would love it:

2. The Game of Life Junior (2-4 Players, Ages 5+)

A story about my husband’s childhood that has been retold over and over is about playing The Game of Life and how he would buy kids from his brother. We got this game a few years ago and we love how simple it is, and how it incorporates cards that prompt you to act, sing or do something fun. My oldest is begging to get the original so we will probably be adding that to the collection soon.

The concept is that you move around the board and experience different places, do different activities to earn and lose your stars. Whoever fills up their card first, wins.

mom and sons playing the Game of Life Junior

3. Sturdy Birdy (Up to 4 players | Ages 3+)

If a game gets our family moving, then I’m all for it. This game incorporates balancing poses as you stay in a position with a bean bag somewhere on your body for a certain amount of seconds. It’s very easy to learn. Even our two-year-old gets in on the balancing act.

4. Don’t Make Me Laugh (Ages 5+)

If your kids are dramatic or like to act, this IS the game for your family! We don’t play the game to win, but instead, use all the cards and rounds to have a ton of fun. It reminds me of doing improv in high school theater classes. Getting creative and silly are two things our boys do easily.

Don’t Make Me Laugh is even great for our toddler. He doesn’t really know what’s going on, but he loves pretending right along with us.

5. Pop the Pig (Ages 3+)

Pop the Pig is another camper favorite! All the pieces fit inside the pig making it extra easy to store and take on the go.

You roll the dice, flip a burger piece that is the color you rolled to see how many times you need to push the pig’s head down. Whoever makes the pig’s outfit pop open is supposed to be the loser. In our family, the person who pops the pig is the winner. It seems to be less stressful that way!

6. Sequence For Kids (Up to 4 players | Ages 3+)

We got this game as a birthday present and are happy we did. It uses a little strategy as you draw cards of animals and try to make a row of four tokens.

As I was searching for this game, I found a few other versions. The State Capitols one will be a great one when our boys start learning those in school. I’m a proponent of doing whatever we can to make learning fun!

7. Qwirkle (2-4 players | Ages 6+)

Using tactical strategy, this game gets players to put their thinking caps on. There are 36 possible combinations of symbols and colors you have to match.

It reminds me a little of scrabble but with shapes and colors making it easier for kids of all ages.

8. Richard Scarry’s Busytown Eye Found It (2-4 players | Ages 3+)

Another tip for helping kids who hate losing is finding cooperative board games like this one! There is no one winner because everyone works as a team.

We experience a lot fewer tears with this game as each player spins to see how many moves they can go to get closer to a picnic blanket.

If the player rolls on a magnifying glass, everyone works together to find as many of an item they draw from the pile of cards they can find. If the spinner lands on a pig, a piece of your food is eaten. The goal is to get to the picnic before the pigs eat all the food.

9. Clue (2-6 players | Ages 8+)

Although I still get confused about how to play this game and need to read the instructions every time, our kids love solving the mystery. Another classic that every kid should experience playing.

10. Apples to Apples Junior (4-8 Players | Ages 9+)

What a great way to learn new words while laughing a ton! We love playing this on Family Meeting nights.

A “judge” picks an adjective to show everyone. Based on the seven cards in each player’s hands, he or she chooses something that would best fit that word. Then the judge picks a winner. As the game continues, the judge changes from player to player so everyone gets a turn.

Sometimes, we don’t play with a “judge” but instead, everyone throws a card in the middle of the table so we can see all the hilarious suggestions. That way there is no winner and we don’t have to worry about it turning into a heated competition.

More Games

Here are the games that were recommended to me. Good thing we have a few birthdays and Christmas coming up!

11. Monopoly Junior (2- 4 Players | Ages 5+)

Monopoly Junior is like the adult version except has kid-friendly pieces, locations, money and concepts.

12. Uno Attack (2-10 players | Ages 7+)

This game was the most recommended game. Who knew?! We have the Ninja Turtles and Minecraft versions of Uno from birthday gifts, but we haven’t tried this version yet.

It looks similar except there are a few other cards in the deck that allow you to “shoot” cards at an opponent. Sounds a little crazy, but I like crazy.

13. Left, Center Right (3+ players | Ages 5+)

This is a fast-paced dice game that looks great for traveling! Everyone rolls the dice to see what direction they should pass their chips. The object of the game is to be the player with all the chips at the end.

14. Race to the Treasure (2-4 players | Ages 5+)

I love games where everyone works as a team! Together, players strategize to beat an ogre to the treasure.

15. Silly Street (2+ Players | Ages 4+)

Our neighbors have this game and said it’s super cute and fun. There are many different types of play incorporated. Players act, communicate, are creative, interpret and work together. You can also download their free app!

16. Speak out Kids vs Parents (4-10 Players | Ages 8+)

I have seen a lot of pictures from this game on social media and watched celebrities be absolutely hilarious it on Ellen, but have never actually played it myself.

The premise looks pretty simple. Someone puts the mouthpiece in, says a phrase and the others have to guess what he or she is saying.

17. Pictionary (2 Teams | Ages 8+)

Being a fan of drawing, I loved playing Pictionary growing up. In today’s version, the game has erasable markers and boards that can be reused over and over again.

Each player has to draw a picture for everyone else to guess what it is.

There is even an app you can download with different playing options!

18. Mad Gab (2-12 Players | Ages 10+)

With this game, you read a set of words but need to figure out what phrase is actually being said. Because it’s so hard to hear for the player saying the words to hear the phrase while others figure it out, it’s sure to cause a lot of laughter.

19. Chow Crown (2+ Players | Ages 8+)

By looking at the photos, this game looks hilarious. You attach food to the ends of the crown and as it starts to spin, players need to eat all the food before the music stops. Seems simple, fun and a little quirky.

20. Carcassone (2-5 Players | Ages 12+)

This is a strategy game where players build the most powerful city. The goal is to build prestige, power, and dominance to win.

21. Catan (3-4 Players | Ages 10+)

From reading reviews and watching YouTube videos, this game looks addicting! Players gain resources through rolling a lucky dice and trading. A different board is created every time you play. The goal is to reach 10 victory points by building roads, new settlements and expand existing settlements to new cities to win the game.

The maker of the game, Catan Studios, has many other versions including a Catan Junior! The gameplay is shortened and for ages 6 and up.

22. Forbidden Island (2-4 Players | Ages 10+)

Forbidden Island is another collaborative game where you work together and win or lose as a team. Together, you go on a do-or-die mission to capture four sacred treasures.

23. Hisss (2-5 Players | Ages 4+)

Gamewright has some great games and this is another one recommended to me. It’s great for the younger crew and helps develop visual logic and color identification.

Players match snake body parts and once completed, add them to the snake pit. The person with the most snakes wins.

24. Otrio (2-4 Players | Ages 6+) and other Marbles Board Games

Classic wood games are always a favorite of mine.

Pieces of the same color and size are lined up in ascending or descending order or in the same place. This is a strategy game that also uses reasoning and critical thinking skills. Otrio is GREAT for working memory making it a perfect games with kids who have ADHD. And as with most games, this one has a travel version as well!

The friend who recommended these games said they own a few of from the creator, Marbles Brain Workshop and often give them as gifts because they love them that much.

25. Wig Out! (2-6 Players | Ages 6+)

This game came highly recommended. Players race against each other to get rid of their cards by matching hairstyles. The first person to have no cards left is the winner.

26. Friends and Neighbors: The Helping Game (1-4 Players | Ages 3+)

This game was recommended by Amazon so I looked into it. It appears to be one of those games that teach great lessons. I mean, it has the word, helping, in the title. I’m always on the lookout for games that our toddler can play with the whole family.

The characters in the game experience different emotions and the players need to help them. What a great way to help teach social-emotional awareness and self-regulation!

PIN FOR LATER: 18 Way to Help Your Child Calm Down

27. I Spy Dig In (2-4 Players | Ages 5+)

This game takes the classic “I Spy” game and turns it more into a sensory experience where you use your sight and touch!

It’s very simple! Each player gets a card with six pictures on it. The timer gets set and everyone digs into the bowl to find all the objects on their card. Offering many different ways to play, players can lett each person go by themselves, everyone can only use one hand, or everyone can all search together, etc.

28. Outfoxed! (2-4 Players | Ages 5+)

Have I mentioned how much I love collaborative games where everyone wins or loses together? These really are my favorite for where my kids are developmentally right now.

In Ouftoxed!, a pie is missing and the players must work together to solve the crime. There is a special evidence scanner everyone uses to rule out suspects. The goal is to solve the case before the fox gets away with the pie.

29. Bounce Off (2-4 Players | Ages 7+)

There’s something exciting about throwing balls with a goal to land them somewhere. I’m not sure what it is, but this game looks like it would be both challenging and very rewarding.

Two different teams work together to recreate a design on a challenge card. Each player bounces a ball into the tray until it’s completed.

30. Mole Rats in Space (2-4 Players | Ages 7+)

I had to end this list of board games for families with one more collaborative game.

Mole rats work together to get to their escape pod before they’re caught by the snake invaders. Many skills such as communication, problem solving and cooperation are used to play this game.

What is your Favorite Game to Play as a Family?

Wow! That’s a lot of games. Happy Playing!

What games do you and your family enjoy playing together? Comment below and share this post with friends who love games! Thank you!

July 23, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 11 Comments

The Ultimate List of Podcasts for Kids

What if I told you I know a way to entertain kids WITHOUT screens and it’s good for their brains?

Did your ears just perk up?

Podcasts are all the rage for adults, but did you know there are podcasts specifically for kids, too?

Anyone can create a podcast with a microphone and someone to interview. But with podcasts made for kids, they usually require a lot more than only voices. All of the podcasts I’ve found for kids include audible theatrics, sound effects, music and usually a whole lot of research that not only educates but entertains as well.

This post contains affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

boy with wireless headphones ultimate list of podcasts for kids

Over the past few years, we have become quite fond of podcasts. Just as I can feel my volcano temper about to erupt with steam coming out of my ears, we put a podcast on and I go back to being dormant. It’s like magic. I’m not sure why, but a good kid podcast recenters our whole family.

On our way to Zion National Park last year, we made it at least four hours without a single movie or handheld device. With podcasts and “brain breaks”, no one even asked for a screen!

I have read a lot about brain development and learned so much about how screens affect our kids, but seeing it in action is far greater than any book. Watching how my kids act after listening to something instead of having a screen in front of their face is very evident that their nervous system isn’t getting over-stimulated.

The Cure for Boredom

Although it is very important for kids to experience boredom to allow their brains to enter the default mode network (the resting state where self-reflection is done), podcasts can be a great alternative to screens.

With the rising addiction to devices and with studies on how games and apps are changing kids’ brains, finding something that engages their imagination has been very beneficial for our kids. Most of the podcasts we have found are extremely educational teaching us about concepts my kids would probably otherwise never be exposed to at their current ages.

Both of my big boys will state random facts and topics from what they heard as they connect it to their real-life experiences. Right now, our little guy just repeats theme songs. It’s a start!

When we were visiting Kartchner Caverns in the spring for Earth Day, there were many booths of plant, animal and other science non-profits set up with interactive booths. At one of the tables, the boys were going on and on about the benefits of bats. The lady looked at me and asked, “Are they homeschooled?”

I replied, laughing, “No, they just listen to a lot of podcasts and read a ton of books.”

Our family loves podcasts! We are so thankful for all those who work hard to put amazing content out into the world!

Brain Benefits of Podcasts for Kids

Podcasts are free, accessible and kids love them. There are also many ways how listening to a story, especially a dramatized one, can be beneficial to a developing brain.

Listening to a dramatized story activates and strengthens two processing networks, where speech is processed and the other where speech and non-speech sounds are processed.
Kids are exposed to more vocabulary and language than they would be when only speaking or reading to themselves. Often times when people read, they skip words.
Comprehension skills are often a little better when listening to a story than reading one with more details being recalled.
In podcasts where the story is accompanied by sound effects, kids create vivid images in their minds. When they are watching something, all the work is done for them and not as many parts of the brain are activated. Reading activates the visual processing centers causing fewer images to develop in the mind (source).
Podcasts can entice kids to read and want to learn. If a podcast is humorous, it can spark kids’ interest and motivate them to want to further read about the subjects.
We found that dramatized podcasts were a stepping stone to listening to audiobooks. Listening to audiobooks is just as beneficial to a developing brain as reading especially for beginners.
It can be more entertaining than reading a book and makes learning fun! Research shows that learning happens when kids experience enjoyable and relevant content.
For kids who can’t read in the car because of car sickness, listening to a podcast (or audiobook) keeps their brains activated and growing. Remember though, it is still very important to provide opportunities for your child to daydream and stare out the window to give that brain a rest.

Get Your Listening On

A question I often get about podcasts is how to listen.

Firstly, having wireless headphones are great when everyone doesn’t want to listen to the same thing. Our boys have the iJoy Premium Headphones which are great because they also come with a cord if needed for something without Bluetooth.

Where to Listen

If you have an iPhone as I do, simply go to the Podcast App.

Here are other places you can find podcasts:

Directly on the podcast’s website (See links below)
Podcasts (Only available for Apple iOS)
Stitcher Radio for Podcasts
Pocket Casts
SoundCloud
Kids Listen
Podbay.fm
Podbean
Podtail
PlayerFM

You can either download the specific episode you want to listen to or you can subscribe. When you subscribe to a podcast, the episodes will automatically download as they become available.

brothers dancing with wireless headphones

The Best Listening Times For Kids:

These are the times that we have found work best to listen to podcasts:

After a long day at school
Car rides longer than 15 minutes
During carpool! Who else enjoys a quiet car on the way to school?
Before bed
At a time of chaos. This is usually when I suggest they listen to a podcast and guess what, it calms the intensity almost instantly!

Listener Involvement

Another reason why I love kid podcasts is how they encourage listener involvement.

Every podcast does it differently. Often times, the host requests that kids send in pictures, ideas, questions or stories. My kids love discussing their ideas.

I always say that the best parenting tool is open communication. As kids get older, the words typically get fewer (especially with boys) so if there’s a topic we can talk about, I’ll take what I can get. I’m thankful the podcasts open this opportunity up for our family.

boy laughing with wireless headphones on

Our Favorite 12 Podcasts for Kids

Over the past two years, we have found a few gems that my kids absolutely love! Below are descriptions of our top 12 podcasts with our favorite episodes (if applicable as some of the podcasts are continuing stories).

In addition to our favorites, I compiled a list of every relevant kid podcast I could find.

1. Brains On

This is the very first children’s podcast we found and I’m so happy we did. The host, Molly Bloom, is joined by a kid co-host every episode so they can answer questions about the world.

It’s filled with really fun dramatic stories, expert interviews, sound effects, and thoroughly researched topics. We have learned so much about our world such as why we fart (always a kid favorite, right?), how the skin heals, emotions, animal and insect behavior, technology and electricity. My kids love their catchy songs, too.

A Few of our Favorite Episodes:

All about Feelings series
The Science of the Sleeping Brain
The Scoop on Journalism
Electricity series (The songs are super fun!)
The Tick-Tock of Our Circadian Clock

2. The Alien Adventures of Finn Caspian

This is a must-listen! Written and produced by the author, Jonathon Messenger, the listener is taken on a journey with a space explorer, Finn, his robot, sister, friends, and family. There are many references to Children’s Literature woven throughout the episodes in the character names, places, and actions. Love!

What’s great about this podcast is that it goes in chronological order. Start with Season 1, Episode 1 to get started. Because of the format, it’s like listening to a really long movie that keeps getting better and better. Johnathon does an incredible job writing and telling the stories with a few sound effects and old school video game sounding music.

In addition to the actual story, this podcast has an opening bit (I’m not sure what the technical term is!) with a very funny robot named Bee Bop. He even has his own set of episodes called, “Bee Bop Tales” in the “off-season”. My boys wait with great anticipation every time a regular season ends.

3. Wow! In the World

Hands down, the hosts of this show, Guy Raz and Mindy Thomas, are on a mission to save the world through our kids. Where do I even begin? From the incredible editing of sounds that literally make you feel like you are in the story to the topics they cover, I feel like this podcast has increased my kids’ intelligence. And if I’m being completely honest, mine too! Ha! For real though, it’s amazing.

And besides it being extremely educational, it’s absolutely hilarious. I still hear my kids singing, “Who let the frogs out?” Like daily.

They take new research in the world of science putting fascinating concepts in front of kids. The character development of the two main characters makes it very easy to find every episode hilarious. You just fall in love with Guy and Mindy. There are so many little idioms that we repeat often.

Some of Our Favorite Episodes:

4. Story Pirates

When we first started listening to this podcast, my boys were hooked. We love their current format of having a continuing story of the Story Pirates on their ship that is woven throughout each episode within two adaptations of kid-written stories.

And the songs! Some of the stories are audibly acted out and others are made into original songs. This year, they even came out with their second album. Some of the songs are so catchy I find myself singing them.

In addition to the stories, they encourage kids to write their own stories with what they call, story sparks. The sparks are ideas for kids to build upon to create their own original story. It’s fun to hear what my kids come up with.

A Few of our Favorite Episodes:

5. Smash Boom Best

This podcast is a spin-off from Brains On. It quickly has become a favorite. They debate two topics in a very entertaining way. The host is the same as Brains On, Molly Bloom. Each episode has two different debaters and a kid judge. You can tell they have a ton of fun from all the laughing in the studio. It surely translates into laughter in our car.

The debaters come up with incredible points that are set with sound effects, music, and humor.

We are on Season Two where they have added one other segment that teaches kids about debating. My oldest really loves this part. He likes learning the different terminology and how to become a debater.

A Few of Our Favorite Episodes:

6. Circle Round

Although this podcast doesn’t have as many bells and whistles, it’s still very entertaining. The host, Rebecca Sheir, tells folktales from all around the world. In addition to Rebecca’s soothing narrator voice, Circle Round also brings on many notable people from screen and stage to provide voices for the characters.

The best part of this podcast is the great lessons each story teaches such as kindness, generosity, and perseverance. All the things that we need more of in the world. My kids also like to know where the story is from. It’s a great way to open a child’s eyes to more than the country he or she is from.

Some of Our Favorite Episodes:

7. Pants on Fire

The best word to describe this podcast would be, silly. Having a game-show type format, there is a kid contestant who listens to two people claiming to be an expert. The contestant then has to figure out who is telling the truth. The host, Deborah Goldstein, keeps the show moving and her co-host L.I.S.A. (Live In Studio Audience) adds humor and flavor.

The show helps kids to check facts, become good question-askers and listeners and to trust their gut. These are important skills in today’s world where we are inundated with false information.

A Few of Our Favorite Episodes: The episodes do not have their own “notes” page so here is the link to access them all.

Stunts
Icecream
Coding

8. Chompers

This podcast is genius! They’ve taken the problem of kids not wanting to brush their teeth and solve it by providing entertainment during brushing.

After the short introduction, they have two minutes worth of information around a certain topic. Sometimes they tell jokes or riddles, play music or ask questions and present random facts. It’s set up in a way to help kids know how long to brush each part of their mouth.

Chompers for the win!

9. Highlights Hangout

Do you like Highlights Magazine? I still remember the feeling I got when it arrived in the mail or I saw it at a doctor’s waiting room. Highlights Hangout is the podcast form of the magazine. The hosts, Tim and Juanita, are very enjoyable to listen to as they go through the different segments that are similar to what you can find in print.

This podcast is animated and edited very well with great music and sound effects. The episodes include skits, stories, riddles, jokes and different characters from the magazine. They also sprinkle in a little extra fun with a hidden sound kids need to listen for and count up at the end. Lastly, you can’t help but love the catchy theme song.

10. The Radio Adventures of Dr. Floyd

The shows of this podcast were written years ago before podcasts were what they are today. Written with the style of the “glory days of radio” serials, the episodes are short and humorous.

The intro is spoken so quickly, my head spins, but my kids love it. I guess there’s always the option to slow it down. Each episode is a very short story part of a bigger story like a few of the other podcasts listed above.

11. Molly of Denali

This is a brand new podcast that even my toddler loves. It’s adapted from the new PBS show of the same name. Because of this, it feels like a show that you listen to instead of watch.

The main character, Molly, is an Alaskan native who goes on adventures and listens to stories from her grandpa. In the first season, she makes a new friend who is full of energy and spunk.

12. So Get Me Podcast by Alphabet Rockers

As I was researching for this post, I came across this brand new podcast and am loving most of the messages. Their website is just as great with music and videos, performances and all the shows they offer. This is how we introduce kids to diversity, how to feel good about being in their own skin and how to spread kindness. Kindness always wins.

And they have a Grammy Nominated album called Rise Shine #Woke! Go check it out!

MORE Podcasts For Kids

I scoured the internet for other podcasts for kids. We have started listening to a few on the list that my kids already want to subscribe to.

Included in this list are podcasts that are still currently publishing episodes. However, I did include a few that are no longer updating episodes as long as there were plenty of quality shows to pick from.

I listened to at least a portion of one episode from each podcast before adding it for you. A lot of these have great websites with additional information or activities for your kids.

Science

Music

Educational/Entertaining

The Past and the Curious
What If World
Aaron’s World
KidNuz
Forever Ago
The Children’s Hour
Noodle Loaf
The Cramazingly Incredifun Sugarcrash Kids Podcast

Self Improvement/Ethics

Mindfulness/Bed Time

What Are Your Kids Listening To?

Do you think your kids will like podcasts if they don’t already?

Or if they do listen, what podcasts do your kids listen to? Any new ones I can add to my list? Please comment below so I can add them!

July 11, 2019 By Adriane (Raising Kids With Purpose) 30 Comments

Quality Time: The Best Way To Stop Misbehavior & Sibling Fighting

Do you experience this in your home?

One kiddo is gone, and there are butterflies fluttering around, birds chirping, and sounds of peace.

Okay, maybe not the butterflies and birds, but there seems to be a sense of calm in the home and no unwanted behavior or sibling fighting.

For us, it’s when one of our older boys is missing. As soon as everyone is back together, chaos ensues.

Or what about this?

You are on the phone and as soon as you start talking or texting, your child starts yelling for your attention or making poor choices so you are forced to put the phone down.

The tension rises.

Patience starts to run thin.

This post contains affiliate links, see disclosure policy for details.

mom and son reading a book quality time pin

Quality Time: The Best Way To Stop Unwanted Behavior and Sibling Fighting

Experiences shape brain structures and make connections as the child learns and grows.

Every time I’m having a positive interaction with my kids, I envision the neural pathways firing and connecting. This is why the way we interact and care for our child, especially in those first six years, is utterly important.

Humans are born with a primary emotional need for significance and belonging.

Attachment theory explains that there’s an emotional connection between a parent and child that aids in that child’s development into adulthood.

Psychologist World states, “Specifically, it [attachment theory] makes the claim that the ability for an individual to form an emotional and physical “attachment” to another person gives a sense of stability and security necessary to take risks, branch out, and grow and develop as a personality.”

Simply put, our children desire connection and are wired to want to be connected to you, their parents. When they have to share the attention with another sibling, rivalry or resentment can usually form. Or if you are giving your attention to someone or something else while their attention bucket is empty, they demand it any way they know how to get it.

Spending uninterrupted one-on-one quality time reduces tension and unwanted behaviors.

“If you are giving your attention to someone or something else while their attention bucket is empty, they demand it any way they know how to get it.” ~Adriane of Raising Kids With Purpose

mom and son making a paper ninja star spending quality time together

The Benefits of Spending One-On-One Time With Kids

With the busyness of life, although you see your kids often (some more than others), you may not spend the time that fosters deep connection.

It is proven that spending quality time with each of your children has many benefits. Your kids:

Gain confidence.
Feel secure.
Gain a strong sense of belonging and significance.
Become calmer and not feel the need to misbehave to get negative attention. WIN!!!!
Change their negative behaviors and make better choices.
Fight less with siblings. Sign me up for this one!
Become more cooperative.
Openly communicate with you.
Build a strong bond and really connect with you. This time also helps you see your kids in a different light, have more empathy, and enjoy who they are.

brother spending quality time together laughing

When you spend uninterrupted time with your child, he or she feels special and gets his or her attachment and attention bucket filled. When this happens, misbehavior, poor choices and sibling fighting reduce tremendously. There is no need to act out to get your negative attention because they are getting an excessive amount of the good stuff.

Read Next: 30 Fun Strategy and Board Games for Families

How to Incorporate More Quality Time With Your Kids

Quality time is very important and can make parents’ lives easier because of all the reasons listed above.

You may be thinking, “How in the world can I squeeze in even more time when I don’t have enough time as it is?” In reality, spending quality time with each of your children, SAVES you time because you will spend less time on annoying power-seeking behaviors. Also, your kids will become more cooperative the FIRST time you ask.

Sounds too good to be true, right?

The key is consistency.

Name Your Special Time

Before coming up with a schedule or time to squeeze in quality time, name it. This would make for a great Family Meeting Agenda topic so your kids can be involved.

Here are name ideas:

FOCUS Time – This is what my kids came up with. Because I love acronyms, it stands for: Focus On Creating Uninterrupted Scheduled Time together.
Special Time – This seems to be the most common name as it appears on many parenting websites.
Mind Body Soul Time – This comes from Positive Parenting Solutions.
Hang Out
Together Time
One-on-One Time
{The child’s name} Time This comes from Aha Parenting.
QT – Because this is what it is right?!
Oodly Noodly Silly Time, Ninja Alliance, Prickly Pear Pow Wow – These came from my brain. Ha! I don’t know! Come up with something fun that makes you or your child giggle. Let your kids come up with something off the wall to make it even more special.

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mom and son hugging on hammock spending quality time together

Carve Out the Time

Dr. Jane Nelson of Positive Discipline breaks down how much time kids need at each stage.

Toddlers under the age of two or three already require a lot of your time and won’t comprehend or benefit from this dedicated time with you or your spouse.

As they get older between the ages of two and six, about ten minutes every day is needed to build a deep connection. And kids, ages six to twelve, may not need this special quality time every day, but at least thirty minutes a week. Lastly, teenagers may not seem interested in spending one-on-one time with you, but trying to do something once a week or even once a month can help keep communication open and your relationship strong.

Once you know roughly how much time your kids need, try to schedule it either daily or weekly.

This is where we struggle especially during times when our daily schedule is inconsistent. By having time on a calendar, it’s easier to stay committed. Oh, and you know your kids will not forget.

Establish Rules and Guidelines

It is very important that you establish what this time is and isn’t with your child. Expectations prevent disappointments.

Discuss rules and guidelines with your child to get his or her input on what this time will look like. In “Me, Me, Me Epidemic” by Amy McCready, she lists the following basic guidelines after teaching parents all over the globe this concept of quality one-on-one time which she calls, Mind-Body-Soul Time or MBST.

Have a no-screen rule. Screens include TV shows, YouTube videos, phones, computers, tablets, etc.
Be Creative. This time can be when you’re in the car, on a walk or run, or when your kids first wake up.
Make sure the activity can be completed or reach a good stopping point within the time frame you set. When the time is up, it’s up. If you extend it, a feeling of entitlement can start setting in.
Don’t spend too much time coming up with an activity to do. If your child has a hard time deciding what to do then create or use the list I provide for you at the end of this post to pick an activity quickly.
Label the time together so they realize the time is special. McCready mentions reminding your child that his or her attention and power buckets are full. You can say something like, “I enjoyed our FOCUS time together. I can’t wait to do it again tomorrow.”
Set a timer. If your child has a tough time with the transition, have something already planned for him or her afterward like going outside or eating a snack. Food is always a good idea, right?!

Ways to Make Quality Time More Special

Your child will already feel special by getting your sole attention, but there are ways to make a lifelong impact.

Below are tips to make this time you spend with your child more memorable. They are adapted from the “Joy Fixes for Weary Parents” by Erin Leyba.

Have Your Child Do Something

When you are spending quality time together, give your child responsibility. You can also turn normal daily routines and errands into a special time by making your child feel useful. Kids will also want to be more cooperative and feel important when you put them in charge of a task.

For example, let your child use one of the huge vacuums at the car wash to help clean the car. My kids love cleaning the car then ending the time with a little sword fight. Shhhh, don’t tell the car wash owners.

Another example is to let your child pick out all the fruits and veggies and let them weigh them at the grocery store.

mom and son dancing in kitchen spending quality time together

Let Your Child Pick The Activity

This is part of our guidelines. As I mentioned above, they may not know what they want to do. Giving options works well as long as your child has the final say. Have your child use the free printable I created for you:

When kids pick the activity, they become more invested. And ever since reading, “Self-Driven Child” by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, I realized that our kids need to have a sense of control (with direction from us, of course). When we hand over the control by giving our kids choices, they slowly build up a stress tolerance that will affect their lives forever.

Make Sure You Enjoy Each Other and Have Fun!

Let loose during this time. In our family, that usually involves dancing or singing terribly. The more terrible with made-up words, the better.

Find special ways that sprinkle a little extra fun. Connect by locking eyes making sure your child knows you really enjoy him or her.

Preview The Activity

If you are heading out of the house, talk about what you are going to see. Then, when you are at the location, seeing those will be more meaningful. It may also bring out the inquisitive side of your child. Since they know it’s coming, they will be more apt to ask questions.

Take Pictures or Video

Pull out your phone, camera, or video camera to capture the time together. Limit how many photos you take, though. Possibly only pull out the phone once. I’m guilty of being more concerned about taking the pictures than enjoying my kids. Because of this, they started hating pictures.

Now that they are getting older, they do appreciate seeing memories from when they were little so as long as I can keep myself in check, they will let me snap a picture or two.

Also, hand the camera over to your child so the moment is captured through his or her eyes!

Finally, once you have a bunch of photos, make a scrapbook, photobook, or journal together.

It’s important to have quality time WITHOUT capturing it. Just because you don’t have a photo of it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Incorporate Play

Use pretend play to tap into your child’s imagination. Play is the foundation of creativity.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Play allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity, and physical, cognitive and emotional strength. Play is important to healthy brain development.”

Play allows kids to experience a sense of belonging in this world.

If you can’t stand making a horse go round and round and round a stable or pretend to be a little girl lost in the woods who is calling for her horse to come to save her, use play in a way that is more natural to you. If you go to a zoo, pretend to be the animal you see, or if you’re staying home, play store or use a felt board to create a little scene.

Incorporate your interests into play with your child.

Review The Quality of Time

Recall specific memories of one-on-one time you have spent together. Talking about these memories will allow your child to bring them up as well.

For example, we use this felt board a lot and one of my sons loves to reference the one story we made up. He mentions the characters we created and the funny things they did.

Brains are shaped by experience. The more we remind ourselves of specific memories and experiences, they move into long-term memory. And the more positive experiences kids store in their long-term memory, the more impact it will have on how they interact and react with their own families when they are older.

When You Don’t Have Time

You may be in a season right now where it is impossible to be consistent with individual quality time with each of your kids. If you have more than one or two children, the time commitment to do this may not be in the cards.

I know a mama right now who has a full-time job and is in school full time and has three kids, under the age of six!

The thought of needing to spend daily uninterrupted time with each of her children would probably stress her out. If you are like my friend, throw the mom guilt away. You are the perfect parent for each of your children!

Here are a few things that can help:

First, this may only be a season. Your kids will get older and it will become easier to squeeze in some one-on-one time. Also, there will come a time when it’s not as busy. In my friend’s case, she doesn’t have a lot of variables she can move around, but you might. See if there are things in your schedule that don’t need to take priority. Instead, put your kids into that 10-15 minute time slot.

Secondly, find your tribe. This isn’t only for your business or friendship circles but also for your kids. Do they have someone special in their life who can take this time to focus solely on their child for a few minutes a day? What about a caretaker, grandparent, family friend, aunt or uncle? If so, spending time with another adult who loves your child will still help keep his or her attention bucket filled.

dad and son building a 3D Printer for quality time together

Another idea may be to come up with something super short that only that specific child does such as a special handshake. Every time you do have a second, lock eyes with him or her and do your special thing.

Lastly, explain to your kids how important they are to you and that’s why you’re in this season of life – working hard, going to school, taking classes, or whatever else you are doing to improve your family life. Share the love and joy you have with your kids in any way you can. Being open and honest will help them understand a little more or at least be able to reflect back on what you were sacrificing.

Quality Time Activities

Now, the question is, “What activities do we do for Quality Time?” I’m so happy you asked!

I’ve created a printable with over 60 activities you can do with your kids.

Fill out the form below to snag it.

The activities are sorted by things to do in the house and out of the house. Some may require more than 10-20 minutes but can be incorporated into your daily tasks and routines.

mom and son at aquarium with books spending quality time together

How Do You Spend One-On-One With Your Kids?

How do you spend quality time with your kids? I would love to know so I can add it to the list!

Can you tell when their attention buckets are empty?

Please let me know if any of these strategies or tips help you build a stronger connection with each of your children by commenting below.

Haaaaave fun!

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1. Take Care of Your Mind!

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Toys That Keep Your Toddler Busy

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12. Reusable Sticker pads

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Supply List:

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Go Get Busy!

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What Am I Missing?

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1. NOTICE – Simply take note of all that there is to be thankful for.

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3. FEEL – Get in touch with how the things you are most thankful for make you feel.

4. DO – Say and take action to express gratitude.

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